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To be shocked that some people stand up to wipe their bum after going to the loo?

(245 Posts)
apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 21:43:39

So I perhaps naively assumed that like me the world and his uncle wipe their bum while sitting down after going to the loo. I can't remember how long ago it was that I discovered a good friend stands up to wipe and has done ever since she was a child. I still find it hard to get my head round - obviously I'm not talking about a wee here.

She was equally shock that I wipe sitting down.

It occasionally pops into my head and I wonder all over again, is it her or is it me, is standing or sitting more usual, or are there just a whole lot of standers and sitters out there, all oblivious to each others habits?

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 16:16:27

lucjam not OP. Gah, I shouldn't be on forums when I'm ill...

lucjam Fri 27-Sep-13 16:19:51

Oh don't you worry he cleans it as soon as I see it then he gets a gobfull about how disgusting he is and how I'm never going to shag him ever again.

PhallicGiraffe Fri 27-Sep-13 16:20:40

I remember being a stander as a kid, and I was probably about 7 when I realised what a superior method a sitting-wipe was. Firstly your butt-cheeks are further apart when sat, so you can give the arse-crack a much more thorough wipe. Also with a particularly messy poo, you can give it a really good rub and then just let it go straight into the toilet. There's no rouge bits of poo escaping onto the floor or your clothes, and you know that as soon as you stand, you can be confident that you are nice and clean.
All hail the sitter-wipers, you are superior.

P.s. I'm also a folder.

EBearhug Fri 27-Sep-13 20:57:15

Talking of rouge bits of poo...

Beetroot. Not a fatal disease. But I have started a little panic more than once, till I remember when I've been eating recently.

HesterShaw Fri 27-Sep-13 22:39:16

Rouge? <boggles> Surely beetroot is kind of purple rather than rouge?

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 22:40:56

Guinness poo is the one that scares people into thinking they're dying.

MickeyTheShortOne Fri 27-Sep-13 22:47:14

this thread grin

DH a stander. I am a sitter. We were both as genuinely gobsmacked as each other that there is two ways to wipe a bottom.

EBearhug Sat 28-Sep-13 14:54:04

Beetroot is mostly purple, but it doesn't always come out exactly the same as it went in. It is more red then.

KatyC1988 Tue 17-Jun-14 16:22:09

I stand also! Thought I was the only one.
Scruncher! What a topic! Ha

FreeSpirit89 Tue 17-Jun-14 17:11:29

I stand and I'm thin. Everyone I kno sits....

thebodylovesspring Tue 17-Jun-14 17:19:42

This is an old thread!

LastTango Tue 17-Jun-14 17:53:46

Katy - why have you started up a 9 month old thread?

PrincessBabyCat Tue 17-Jun-14 18:03:27

I can't get my head around the mechanics of wiping sitting down. How do you know all the shit is off? Do you just glance quickly and then drop the tissue between your legs? Do you have to lean forward to keep from hitting the back of the toilet seat?

FindoGask Tue 17-Jun-14 18:03:45

on the best way to wipe your arse, of all things. I wonder what keywords you've been searching for.

HappyAgainOneDay Tue 17-Jun-14 18:50:48

I'm a sitter to wipe.

<and I've forgotten what I was going to add>

HappyAgainOneDay Tue 17-Jun-14 18:53:51

Oh, yes, I remember!

It doesn't matter if you misswipe and get poo on your fingers or feel that you have to clean the loo because you've dribbled onto the seat. There's usually a washbasin where you can wash your hands. With a bit of luck there'll be some soap or handwash and a towel.

No one has mentioned washing hands yet!!

No one has mentioned washing hands yet!!


littlemisssarcastic Tue 17-Jun-14 19:08:19

I saw the last thread about this and found it difficult to understand why anyone would stand to wipe.
I'm not sure I like the idea of being further away from the toilet than absolutely necessary with a piece of shitty toilet roll in my hand and I know this is an issue that most people don't have.
However, what does concern me more on these threads is how many women wipe back to front. shock

littlemisssarcastic Tue 17-Jun-14 19:09:55

I know I've wiped adequately because I keep wiping until there's no shit on the paper. just because I wipe sitting down doesn't mean I don't look at what I'm doing. grin

CollieEye Tue 17-Jun-14 19:23:20

I'm a sitter, DH is a stander. I never knew anyone to stand before I met him and until this thread I thought he was the only one. DC's are being taught both methods.

At the moment though the 3 year old does a 'downward dog' yoga pose and bellows for someone to come and wipe her.

KeepOnPloddingOn Tue 17-Jun-14 19:23:54

Dh and I are not the same. I sit and he stands. Both of us are in disbelief at eachothers ass wiping antics.

mouselittle Tue 17-Jun-14 20:09:17

Am I the only one that does it sitting down but entering from the front?
I use wet wipes too...

Member758776 Wed 29-Oct-14 19:29:34

Hi all, hopefully I can be of some help... first of I'm a man so never been pregnant but please read on I do have the solution.

I have just lost over 5 stone in weight so as you can imagine I was to big to reach around. I searched the internet for various methods and contraptions and low and behold found something that worked... A SHOE HORN!!! you know the long things the you put down the back of your shoes so you can slip your feet in!

You need to look for the plastic ones about 10 inches long one end has a round bit with a hole in it, this hole is just the right size to put 1 - 3 papers or baby wipes through... the method is to take the baby wipes 2 at a time, place them together (on top of one another) then pull the "middle" of them through the hole which creates a rose like shape the from behind or front just wipe away.. pull out and replace for another wipe.

I bought 3 of them 99p for 3, I kept one in my toilet, one in the car (incase of need to goto a public toilet!) and one at work... if anyone asks just say your pregnant and need them to put on your shoes!!!! and of course you can put on your shoes with them as well.

Hope this helps

waithorse Wed 29-Oct-14 19:31:52

Cause you do Member hmm What a tip to bump a zombie thread for.

WowserBooooooooooooser Wed 29-Oct-14 19:32:22

<Licks pencil tip>

<gets out notebook>

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