We rely on advertising to keep the lights on.

Please consider adding us to your whitelist.



Advanced search

To expect a yr 10 student to put his clothes in the wash and make his own packed lunch. Teachers also please answer.

(188 Posts)
PaulSmenis Wed 25-Sep-13 08:31:25

I'm having a dilemma with eldest ds, nearly 15.

I have been too soft on him imo and told him that he will have to make his own packed lunch as from the start of this term.

So far, he can't be arsed. This puts me in a difficult position. I think part of my job as a parent is fostering independence. He is definitely capable of even just making a sarnie.

I'm torn between letting him get to the point where he'll realise that he needs to make his lunch for school and making it for him. I'm worried that his teachers will think I'm neglecting him! If I keep making it for him, he won't ever make it himself though.

Apparently there was nothing to eat yesterday, but we had cheese, laft over roast veg, seedy bread and fruit. So, a good lunch there imo.

I've also put him in charge of getting his laundry in the machine. So, that hasn't been done in time so his PE kit is damp.

DP and I are also busy and I think it's time DS should be starting to take responsibility over meals, laundry and other bits. Unfortunately, he really can't be arsed and I don't want to be a pushover. So, it's a case of stalemate.

Will I get a call from the school asking me wtf is going on?

PaulSmenis Fri 27-Sep-13 12:10:25

grin Why do your washing at 30 degrees when you can just not wash it at all? Didn't Prince Charles once suggest that people should shower less often to save the environment?

chocoluvva Fri 27-Sep-13 13:23:49


Maybe your DS has royal blood.

Take two bottles into the shower? Don't wash just go!

ringaringarosy Fri 27-Sep-13 13:30:51

i never did anything at home,i had my firstbaby at 21 and the other 4 followed son after,its been a difficult few years getting used to running a house and cooking for a family,im still a bit rubbish at it now,my brother is 21,still lives at home,my mum does his washing,makes him a packed lunch for work,cooks his meals generally wipes his arse,if he doesnt like what she made him he rfuses to eat it and expects something else,she treats mydad the same,it hasnt done anyone any good.and its not because she cares,its because apparently no one does it as well as her and everyone makes too much mess!

op,persevere,offer ideas for food until he gets to grips with it.

PaulSmenis Fri 27-Sep-13 13:39:56

DS really does take stubborness to a new level. You can obviously sympathise choco! It really is quite something and I hope he can turn that to his advantage when he's all grown up. You're right though, stubborn doesn't do it justice. We need to come up with a new word.

ringaringarosy My mum was really soft on my DB. He could wrap her around his finger. If they hadn't moved abroad I think he would still be treating their house like a hotel. DM was even worried about what he would do when they went. He was in his late 20s.

raisah Fri 27-Sep-13 13:48:19

My ds is 4 & loves putting dirty clothes in the washing machine, soap powder in the right compartment and switching it on. He knows which programme to put on & lives the spin cycle the best.

Your ds is more than capable of doing his oqn chores so stick to your guns.

chocoluvva Fri 27-Sep-13 13:50:49

raisah - OP's DS is clearly capable - he can cook a meal.

With all due respect the bit of your post that will jump out at the parents of older DC is,

"My ds is 4".


Lweji Fri 27-Sep-13 13:56:56

Didn't Prince Charles once suggest that people should shower less often to save the environment?

Feeling sorry for Camilla now. confused

PaulSmenis Fri 27-Sep-13 14:46:04

You can trick them into thinking it's a fun game when they're that age and they enjoy helping. DS has now twigged that it isn't fun at all.

Maybe Camilla likes a cheesy willy? grin

chocoluvva Fri 27-Sep-13 15:33:17


lbnblbnb Sun 13-Oct-13 13:34:05

I am a teacher in a secondary school. If a students tells you they haven't got a lunch because they have forgotten it, they are told to go the office and the office rings home before they give them a slip for the canteen to get food. The money has to be paid back. He won't be going hungry, he is either getting food from his mates or using his own money.
I had a boy in my tutor group a few years ago whose mum would pack him an enormous pack up. He would eat very little, he wanted to play football all lunchtime, then come into afternoon registration and sell it all off to his mates. Her home baked goods! I had a quiet word with her. He was going home and eating like a horse, she thought it was just the enormous appetite of a growing boy. Teenagers.

chocoluvva Sun 13-Oct-13 14:13:20

That's hilarious - when it isn't your own DC. grin

BakedAlaskaStomper Sun 13-Oct-13 14:28:38

I fought this one too ...
I used to get them to do it the night before.
I tried Star Charts, that really worked, really got them into it. [Star Charts for everything! And a reward box]
I also ask them what thingys they wanted in the lunchbox - like dunkems, petit filou, crackers, seeds, football breadrolls, babybel etc.
Don't buy this shit in bulk when there's a special offer, because htey go off this stuff on a whim!
Sometimes they want to bring pasta.
If you have time, making some bread with them on a sunday is good, they are so proud to put it in their lunch!

BakedAlaskaStomper Sun 13-Oct-13 14:34:51

Oh sorry, I thought DS was 10, not 15.
Different bag of cats ...
I have one of those 15yr old lazy creatures in my house too. Won't bring a packed lunch, wants money to buy crap, tries to guilt me by showing me the free lunches they have in the school. (They are a bit URK). But they way I see it, there is plenty of food in the house, there is something in the school too, so I haven't failed in my duty. I am not making a 15year old a lunch! Anyway he's only moan.
(I grew up seeing my Dad make his own lunch for work every night - It was the biggest lunchbox ever! Half a sliced pan at least in sandwiches, 2 apples .... some cake too, and a litre of milk!)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now