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to ask for recommendation for for a book that explains death to a six year old

(29 Posts)
user10 Mon 23-Sep-13 21:52:15

Just that really. A little family angel going to leave us in a few weeks and I'm looking for anything that will help explain what happening. sad

peppersaunt Tue 24-Sep-13 09:22:41

I found The Fall of Freddie the Leaf quite lovely for my 5 year old when my mum died.

Amy106 Tue 24-Sep-13 07:32:25

Always and Forever by Alan Durant

Tanith Tue 24-Sep-13 07:31:50

When one of our mindees died, we used Gentle Willow and The Snowman. We also used an activity book: Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine.
I recommend contacting Winston's Wish, too; they're very helpful. We made up one of their Memory boxes.

Growlithe Tue 24-Sep-13 07:18:46

The British Heart Foundation have made a whole pack on this called 'The Small Creature'. It's appropriate for any bereavement situation, not just heart related. I haven't got the pack, but there is a video on their website that tells the story of the sall creature losing his friend, bird. It explains all the different emotions he felt and suggests ways to deal with them, in a very child friendly way. I've got to say I felt it helped me too.

SheRaHasTheAnswer Tue 24-Sep-13 07:07:10

I bought "the lonely tree" for my friends children the other day. I'd definitely recommend it, it's about a little tree who enjoyed the stories from the old oak next to him but one spring he didn't get leaves again so they told his stories to the other new trees for years to come.
Hope you are ok x

Mummyoftheyear Tue 24-Sep-13 06:09:43

So sorry to hear what a sad and difficult time you're having. Xxx

dysfunctionallynormal Tue 24-Sep-13 01:57:09

"The Education Of Little Tree" is a lovely pg movie that might help :-)

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Tue 24-Sep-13 00:08:29

I also think it's very difficult to get it spot on in a book. I'd like to hope there are some specialists helping the family to explain in a way that works for them. Sorry that your family is going through this.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Tue 24-Sep-13 00:06:23

Having lost dh 5 months ago, I now have a library of the damn things! I would actually say don't even give it to your cousin unless they ask for one because otherwise they'll end up reading it when they don't want to and having it as a reminder after the LO has died. Can you cook for them once a week for the next year instead? Has meant much more to me, although I appreciated the sentiment behind the books we were sent.

quoteunquote Mon 23-Sep-13 23:58:18

This is a really lovely book.

Children seem to like it.

MmmmWhiteWine Mon 23-Sep-13 23:09:50

There's nothing you can say, is there. That must be so hard in your situation. Just letting your cousin know you are there for her is the main thing I guess. We have a beautiful book called "While Angels Watch"'s not about death but is about angels watching over children while they sleep. It might be a reassuring sentiment for a child. But it makes me cry on a good day with 2 healthy DDs so might be just too much for your cousin?

DumSpiroSpero Mon 23-Sep-13 23:03:22

We got Waterbugs & Dragonflies for DD when her great gran died - she was 3 at time, and we found it very sweet and helpful.

We have a bit of 'thing' about dragonflies now, which is a nice way to remember her.

user10 Mon 23-Sep-13 22:56:48

God I wouldn't give it I was going to give it cousin to see and go through it with their LO . I just want to do some thing... Anything. I don't even know what to say!

MmmmWhiteWine Mon 23-Sep-13 22:43:08

Do you mean the book is intended for the child who is dying as opposed to a book to explain the death of a relative to your own children? If that's the case I would be exceedingly careful about what you select and even consider whether its a good idea at all. Surely it's your cousin's job to discuss imminent death with her/his own child. If, God forbid, I was ever in her/his shoes I would be furious if someone else tried to take on that role. Perhaps a book about love generally, not death, might be a better option?

pookamoo Mon 23-Sep-13 22:38:49

The "Gentle Willow" one I linked to above is written specifically for children who may not survive their illness. Such a sad time for your family. flowers

user10 Mon 23-Sep-13 22:32:35

I will have a look at that one too.
I want to get the book for cousins Lo, the worst thing I cant get my head around is that they know they are going to die. How on earth can a child process that knowledge its abhorrent, terrible.

Rosduk Mon 23-Sep-13 22:31:27

I'm not religious but used water bugs and butterflies when our lo died. It's beautiful.

EllieFredrickson Mon 23-Sep-13 22:28:59

Our daughter was about that age when our (younger) son died very suddenly. The Debi Gliori book is the one used by the hospital counsellors for children around that age. I think that Water Bugs and Butterflies was offered to us too but from memory I think that it has a more religious theme - so may or may not suit you. We don't have a strong belief so didn't use it.

So sorry your faimly are going through such an awful time. x

foslady Mon 23-Sep-13 22:10:59

I'll always love you no matter what by Debi Gliori......just read it first yourself

Oh, Waterbugs is lovely, sad but still positive. I had forgotten about that one.

user10 Mon 23-Sep-13 22:09:05

Thank you, I've found water bugs and dragon flies. Its My cousins LO.

I know it's about a cat but I found Goodbye Mog helpful in helping my dc who was 5 years at the time.
Sorry you're going through a tough time op. flowers

mulchregularly Mon 23-Sep-13 22:07:49

Laura's star (sorry not sure how to link but will try) - I hope this helps. Books are a wonderful way to help children understand difficult aspects of life.

meditrina Mon 23-Sep-13 22:02:21

Have a look here: Good Books for Tough Times

I hope you find something that helps.

Mummyoftheyear Mon 23-Sep-13 22:01:42

No book recommendations, but a couple of ideas:
When my father in law died, I explained it to my son (then 3) as him having "no more days to play".

At 6 you could give more honest facts in response to any questions, relate it to batteries running out/ parts breaking in toys.

It'd also be lovely to make a book for him/ with you - with pictures of your time together with your little angel and memories that s/he might like to savour with them. The end of the book could include images of your angel pictures in your DD/DS' heart and thoughts.

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