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AIBU?

to ask for recommendation for for a book that explains death to a six year old

28 replies

user10 · 23/09/2013 21:52

Just that really. A little family angel going to leave us in a few weeks and I'm looking for anything that will help explain what happening.

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user10 · 23/09/2013 21:53

I've only posted on here for sheer traffic as I want to get it ordered and sent off

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Haribojoe · 23/09/2013 21:59

If you go onto the Winston's wish website there are lots of good suggestions.

There were two that I got for DS. One was a story about a badger or fox who visited his friends giving them all special gifts as he knew he was getting very old (IYSWIM). The other one was about dragonflies.

Sorry being rubbish and can't remember the names, they really helped DS through a difficult time.

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pookamoo · 23/09/2013 21:59

Hi, We had "Badger's Parting Gift" but it might not be appropriate if the person is not elderly.

Michael Rosen's "Sad Book" is supposed to be very good, and Amazon gives a few related other titles, including This "Gentle Willow" which is aimed at young children.

I am so sorry to hear of your sad news.

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Mummyoftheyear · 23/09/2013 22:01

No book recommendations, but a couple of ideas:
When my father in law died, I explained it to my son (then 3) as him having "no more days to play".

At 6 you could give more honest facts in response to any questions, relate it to batteries running out/ parts breaking in toys.

It'd also be lovely to make a book for him/ with you - with pictures of your time together with your little angel and memories that s/he might like to savour with them. The end of the book could include images of your angel pictures in your DD/DS' heart and thoughts.

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meditrina · 23/09/2013 22:02

Have a look here: Good Books for Tough Times

I hope you find something that helps.

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mulchregularly · 23/09/2013 22:07

Laura's star (sorry not sure how to link but will try) momotimetoread.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/lauras-star-by-klaus-baumgart.html - I hope this helps. Books are a wonderful way to help children understand difficult aspects of life.

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AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 23/09/2013 22:08

I know it's about a cat but I found Goodbye Mog helpful in helping my dc who was 5 years at the time.
Sorry you're going through a tough time op.

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user10 · 23/09/2013 22:09

Thank you, I've found water bugs and dragon flies. Its My cousins LO.

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AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 23/09/2013 22:10

Oh, Waterbugs is lovely, sad but still positive. I had forgotten about that one.

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foslady · 23/09/2013 22:10

I'll always love you no matter what by Debi Gliori......just read it first yourself

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EllieFredrickson · 23/09/2013 22:28

Our daughter was about that age when our (younger) son died very suddenly. The Debi Gliori book is the one used by the hospital counsellors for children around that age. I think that Water Bugs and Butterflies was offered to us too but from memory I think that it has a more religious theme - so may or may not suit you. We don't have a strong belief so didn't use it.

So sorry your faimly are going through such an awful time. x

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Rosduk · 23/09/2013 22:31

I'm not religious but used water bugs and butterflies when our lo died. It's beautiful.

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user10 · 23/09/2013 22:32

I will have a look at that one too.
I want to get the book for cousins Lo, the worst thing I cant get my head around is that they know they are going to die. How on earth can a child process that knowledge its abhorrent, terrible.

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pookamoo · 23/09/2013 22:38

The "Gentle Willow" one I linked to above is written specifically for children who may not survive their illness. Such a sad time for your family.

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MmmmWhiteWine · 23/09/2013 22:43

Do you mean the book is intended for the child who is dying as opposed to a book to explain the death of a relative to your own children? If that's the case I would be exceedingly careful about what you select and even consider whether its a good idea at all. Surely it's your cousin's job to discuss imminent death with her/his own child. If, God forbid, I was ever in her/his shoes I would be furious if someone else tried to take on that role. Perhaps a book about love generally, not death, might be a better option?

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user10 · 23/09/2013 22:56

God I wouldn't give it I was going to give it cousin to see and go through it with their LO . I just want to do some thing... Anything. I don't even know what to say!

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DumSpiroSpero · 23/09/2013 23:03

We got Waterbugs & Dragonflies for DD when her great gran died - she was 3 at time, and we found it very sweet and helpful.

We have a bit of 'thing' about dragonflies now, which is a nice way to remember her.

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MmmmWhiteWine · 23/09/2013 23:09

There's nothing you can say, is there. That must be so hard in your situation. Just letting your cousin know you are there for her is the main thing I guess. We have a beautiful book called "While Angels Watch"....it's not about death but is about angels watching over children while they sleep. It might be a reassuring sentiment for a child. But it makes me cry on a good day with 2 healthy DDs so might be just too much for your cousin?

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quoteunquote · 23/09/2013 23:58

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Mountains-Tibet-Journey-Through/dp/1898000549?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

This is a really lovely book.

Children seem to like it.

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SurvivalOfTheUnfittest · 24/09/2013 00:06

Having lost dh 5 months ago, I now have a library of the damn things! I would actually say don't even give it to your cousin unless they ask for one because otherwise they'll end up reading it when they don't want to and having it as a reminder after the LO has died. Can you cook for them once a week for the next year instead? Has meant much more to me, although I appreciated the sentiment behind the books we were sent.

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SurvivalOfTheUnfittest · 24/09/2013 00:08

I also think it's very difficult to get it spot on in a book. I'd like to hope there are some specialists helping the family to explain in a way that works for them. Sorry that your family is going through this.

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dysfunctionallynormal · 24/09/2013 01:57

"The Education Of Little Tree" is a lovely pg movie that might help :-)

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Mummyoftheyear · 24/09/2013 06:09

So sorry to hear what a sad and difficult time you're having. Xxx

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SheRaHasTheAnswer · 24/09/2013 07:07

I bought "the lonely tree" for my friends children the other day. I'd definitely recommend it, it's about a little tree who enjoyed the stories from the old oak next to him but one spring he didn't get leaves again so they told his stories to the other new trees for years to come.
Hope you are ok x

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Growlithe · 24/09/2013 07:18

The British Heart Foundation have made a whole pack on this called 'The Small Creature'. It's appropriate for any bereavement situation, not just heart related. I haven't got the pack, but there is a video on their website that tells the story of the sall creature losing his friend, bird. It explains all the different emotions he felt and suggests ways to deal with them, in a very child friendly way. I've got to say I felt it helped me too.