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To think if someone makes your baby smile you smile at them?

(99 Posts)
BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 17:28:52

Usual disclaimers. Have life, do get out, am aware of crisis in Syria.

Twice today at a huge marks I had cute babies near me as me and a mate browsed. Twice we interacted. They smiles, we commented on baby's cuteness within earshot of mum. Both times mum said nothing. And definitely heard.

When I was with tinies these kind if things made me day, when you were pretty bored and loved it when your baby was admired.
Is this no longer the case? The interactions lasted seconds, were not creepy or anything (babies about 1 year old, were very smiley ) and tbh we stopped them whinging on by making them smile.

It's not the end of the world but is this the norm that mum doesn't acknowledge these?

Sparklyboots Tue 24-Sep-13 22:05:22

I am hard work, that we can agree on. But worth the effort, I like to think.

BetsyBidwell Tue 24-Sep-13 16:53:28

Sparkly. You sound Hard bloody Work

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 24-Sep-13 16:40:28


I can sort see where you are coming from right now, in that I remember that having a toddler and a baby means you are permanently tired and having physical and emotional demands on you. So I can sort of see that you don't want to be "made" to interact.

candycoatedwaterdrops Tue 24-Sep-13 15:58:56

Some of you are right miserable gits. In other countries, it's considered normal to smile at randomers or just say hi but here, you're often met with a glare. I was once looking at a lady on the train and she said "what are you looking at?" and I said I adored her outfit, it was so lovely and she got all flustered. I get aimless chit chit on the 8.05 into Kings Cross isn't always wanted but just generally, people are so wrapped up in their own lives. I wish we could all slow down a bit.

I don't get too narked if someone glares at me, I assume it's a bad day or they're feeling rough or had some bad news but I do think that overall, we are a miserable bunch of arses. grin

rattlemehearties Tue 24-Sep-13 09:45:20

Was this in south west London OP?

Personally I usually see the interaction as between the stranger and the baby, I feel self conscious about smiling back at the stranger myself. I'm with sparkle on this I'm afraid.

PoppyAmex Tue 24-Sep-13 09:10:01

"Poppy I tell anyone I meet with a child what lovely eyes he/she has. Whether it's true or not. Gives me a cheap thrill"


James you'd still get my brightest smile. I'm easily pleased.

NightmareWalking Mon 23-Sep-13 23:47:35

Ah, OP YANBU - but today somebody - or several somebodies - were getting DD's (1 yr) very best smile but I could not for the life of me work out who that was so couldn't acknowledge! I always appreciate anyone who takes time out to interact with her though.

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 23:39:14

Well, like I said, mardiness is not misery. I'm not smiley and solicitous. I don't like the small talk, and hate getting dragged into discussion s about whether she's "good" (all babies are, but that's not what you mean), or does she sleep through (such a violent question to ask, just check out, like a million postnatal rants on this one)) or if she's a boy or a girl (reifing gender as the most important social category in front of my two year old) or saying how beautiful she is (again flagging the importance of surface over substance for my 2 year old). So, imagine you've said one of these things in a friendly way, and I've responded as above. That's when you realise I'm a mardy fucker and wish I'd stick to my usual tactic of AVOIDING THE INTERACTION.

cocolepew Mon 23-Sep-13 22:08:07

When DD1 was younger I was walking around Sainsburys and 7, count them 7 people stopped me to tell me how lovely she was. Not only did I smile at them I practically hugged them.

NotAsTired Mon 23-Sep-13 21:57:48

See, I always smile back when someone interacts with my DS. He is now 5. I think he is adorable and I love it when others think he is too.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 21:53:19

but yes 1 year olds i find insufferably cute. Unless snotty or crying

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 21:52:47

I was joking -- i thought obviously-- about toddlers..

if thats ok.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 21:52:11

no I mean generally,you describe yourself with some pride,as mardy several times

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 21:51:17

Mardiness is btw not misery; it's critical thinking in social situations

Goldenbear Mon 23-Sep-13 21:50:56

OP, you have contradicted yourself though- people are strange for not acknowledging you and your interactions and yet you have a mental blanket policy of not interacting with any child above two! I have a 2.5 year old as well as a 6 year old. I still get many people wanting to interact with my DD, only the other day an old man came up to me in M&S to tell me that DD had the most beautiful hair he had ever seen- obviously I said, 'thanks'. People are always trying to interact with her but unlike DS she is quite serious and shy so I feel I have to apologise for her reaction.

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 21:49:09

Seriously, Betsy, no. I JUST DON'T NECESSARILY SMILE AT PEOPLE WHO'VE SMILED AT MY BABY. I don't see why I have to? The baby and the boy get loads of smiles, they even get encouraging smiles off me when being sociable with people I'm breezily ignoring. It's almost a kindness, really, have you seen the way people gurn at babies? I just take issue with the idea that I have a social obligation to interact with people who've decided to interact with my baby

squoosh Mon 23-Sep-13 21:35:00

<hands Sparkly flick knife to aid air of general bad assery>

Fakebook Mon 23-Sep-13 21:30:37

I worry on the days DS doesn't get a smile or get told he's cute when out in shops.

My favourite place are the lifts in M&S. Always get a crowd of nice old ladies telling me how beautiful my children are. It's a good ego boost.

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 21:30:24

Your comment made me laugh, Squoosh. Please don't ruin my hard ass rep

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 21:29:30

but sparkly do your kids not pick up on your general misery? It sounds so oppresive

ILovePonyo Mon 23-Sep-13 21:29:02

I used to love people smiling at dd and telling me how cute she was when she was a baby. Now she's 2 and a half and it doesn't happen nearly as much sad

Op I agree with the person that said keep smiling at babies, maybe the mum was just having a crap day.

squoosh Mon 23-Sep-13 21:25:40

I probably would bite you to be honest.

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 21:22:12

Ha, I'm not depressed, though generally very mardy, as detailed up thread, plus I have a toddler and a new born. It's tiring! And I am especially mardy about the publicness of motherhood. So bite me! My children will most likely lavish you with giggles and smiles, you really don't need mine

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 23-Sep-13 21:16:58

... because you sound so annoyed by other people and suspicious too.

purrpurr Mon 23-Sep-13 21:16:44

Ahh cripes, we're making Victor Meldrew look like Kate Moss. You know, like a party animal, all sociable and stuff. Do you get the joke yet or do I need to keep on going until I get deleted as a person? If there is a god he's looking at me with some despair and hitting Ctrl + Z repeatedly... 'What do you mean, can't undo? Undo! Undo!! Oh, no, wait, look, there's no need to roll out the blue screen of death...'

What was I saying? Was I illustrating what happens when you make excruciatingly crap at social stuff folk be sociable? Yes. Awkward.

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