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To think if someone makes your baby smile you smile at them?

(99 Posts)
BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 17:28:52

Usual disclaimers. Have life, do get out, am aware of crisis in Syria.

Twice today at a huge marks I had cute babies near me as me and a mate browsed. Twice we interacted. They smiles, we commented on baby's cuteness within earshot of mum. Both times mum said nothing. And definitely heard.

When I was with tinies these kind if things made me day, when you were pretty bored and loved it when your baby was admired.
Is this no longer the case? The interactions lasted seconds, were not creepy or anything (babies about 1 year old, were very smiley ) and tbh we stopped them whinging on by making them smile.

It's not the end of the world but is this the norm that mum doesn't acknowledge these?

SaucyJack Mon 23-Sep-13 20:05:30

Do you need waiters to give you a sticker if you all of your dinner up in restaurants too?

I talk to babies. But I deo it because I like them, not because I want their mums to lick my arse.

FrussoHathor Mon 23-Sep-13 20:18:13

My ds (4mths) is a smiley baby, he like people looking at him, he does this little wiggle to get noticed, then when he is he beams at them, he starts baby-shouting if they don't look at him. Then he beams at them.
If I smiled at everyone who made him smile I'd look like a loon never get anything done.
And sometimes I've had a shit day, and no sleep, and stressed over SN dd, and someone making ds smile really isn't the most important thing at that moment in time.

He may be a sociable little thing, but it doesn't mean I am.

Except when he's tired and needs to go to sleep and is grumbling. In which case if you started grinning and cooing at him then I might give you a glare and bid a hasty retreat.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 20:21:18

i want a pic of the baby who grins like a loon.

I can assure you that i am not needy * laughs hysterically at the very notion*

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 23-Sep-13 20:25:42

I don't think it's needy to like a bit of give and take.

If I and the OP are needy them some of you are misanthropic grumps

So ner

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 23-Sep-13 20:27:07


I live in London. I live in a bit where people talk to each other. The local Estate Agents assure us it's a "village" though, so maybe that's why ...

mrsjay Mon 23-Sep-13 20:27:31

It is called human interaction not neediness . hmm

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 20:29:11

same with a dog I suppose. If someone says " what a nice bloodhound" you would nod or interact

to BLANK them would be freaky

mrsjay Mon 23-Sep-13 20:31:12

please dont get the dog and babies mixed up people will blank you if you say ooo whos a good baby then grin

VinegarDrinker Mon 23-Sep-13 20:35:46

My 2.5 year old has an excellent combination of being very articulate but also extremely shy around strangers.

I.regularly have to apologise to well meaning strangers while blushing furiously in shops/at the park/on the bus etc as he loudly says "Mummy, that lady is LOOKING at me. And that's NOT VERY KIND".

FrussoHathor Mon 23-Sep-13 20:36:13

But the baby is a human, so human interaction covered. Plus the baby is a person in their own right, and acknowledged you smiling.

If you were with someone else, and commenting to them, why world the mum think you were talking to her? About her baby yes, but to her not necessarily.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 20:36:43

oh i dont like toddlers after 2 they are of NO INTEREST

FrussoHathor Mon 23-Sep-13 20:37:52


squoosh Mon 23-Sep-13 20:38:15

Wait till your kids are boring old 7 and 8 year olds, you'll be wailing in the streets 'WHY is no one telling me how cute my kids are God??????'

chandellina Mon 23-Sep-13 20:38:34

I'm probably guilty. I figure the interaction is between my child and the person and doesn't really need my validation. I would respond though if I thought someone was speaking to me.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 20:39:12

oh my kids are way older than that squoosh

Mintyy Mon 23-Sep-13 20:39:17

I think that an astonishing number of people lack the ability to participate in the most basic levels of sociability, tbh. They are clueless about normal human interaction. They live in a bubble and don't want anything whatsoever to do with "strangers". Tis a shame.

VinegarDrinker Mon 23-Sep-13 20:43:06

I have to say I felt a rush of fondness for a couple of American ladies who got on the train when I was with DD (2.5 months). Having done a comically OTT "OMG we LOVE your baby!" one then proceeded to ask "and how are YOU feeling?", which was unusual and made a pleasant change from "is it a boy or girl" or "is s/he good?".

I'm an antisocial moo usually, tbh, but I'll always smile/chat out of politeness.

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 21:02:15

But it's not fair to just expect give and take when the other party hasn't agreed to give or take anything. E.g.. I can't give you a random.quid then get annoyed when you don't give me something in return. And let's remember you'd had interaction with the baby, not the mother. It does rather smack of 'you should be grateful for my attention.' I never agreed to accept the gift of your attention or approval, and actually don't want it. So remind me again why I have to thank you for it?

squoosh Mon 23-Sep-13 21:06:46

Bloody hell.

mrsjay Mon 23-Sep-13 21:10:48

I agree with you mintyy you dont need to grin like a loon to show you are aware somebody is talking to your baby

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 23-Sep-13 21:11:19

I second that with a blimey

mrsjay Mon 23-Sep-13 21:12:37

oh dear sparkly is that what you really think that people are expecting some sort of hoorayy for talking to a baby,

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 23-Sep-13 21:15:58


People aren't trying to impose on you/take something from you. They are trying to engage. That's nice for them, potentially nice for you. If I felt as you do I'd be wondering if I was a bit depressed (I have been depressed before)

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 21:16:08

No, I just think they can get on and do it without requiring anything off me?

purrpurr Mon 23-Sep-13 21:16:44

Ahh cripes, we're making Victor Meldrew look like Kate Moss. You know, like a party animal, all sociable and stuff. Do you get the joke yet or do I need to keep on going until I get deleted as a person? If there is a god he's looking at me with some despair and hitting Ctrl + Z repeatedly... 'What do you mean, can't undo? Undo! Undo!! Oh, no, wait, look, there's no need to roll out the blue screen of death...'

What was I saying? Was I illustrating what happens when you make excruciatingly crap at social stuff folk be sociable? Yes. Awkward.

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