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To think if someone makes your baby smile you smile at them?

(99 Posts)
BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 17:28:52

Usual disclaimers. Have life, do get out, am aware of crisis in Syria.

Twice today at a huge marks I had cute babies near me as me and a mate browsed. Twice we interacted. They smiles, we commented on baby's cuteness within earshot of mum. Both times mum said nothing. And definitely heard.

When I was with tinies these kind if things made me day, when you were pretty bored and loved it when your baby was admired.
Is this no longer the case? The interactions lasted seconds, were not creepy or anything (babies about 1 year old, were very smiley ) and tbh we stopped them whinging on by making them smile.

It's not the end of the world but is this the norm that mum doesn't acknowledge these?

DoudousDoor Mon 23-Sep-13 17:51:49

I agree with OP but also with runner.

If someone is talking about your baby then it would seem a bit rude to butt in and say "thanks I know he's lovely".

That said, I did smile and smile at this teenage girl who was literally gushing over toddler DS, saying she wanted one (the teenage boyfriend was not so gushing grin) Until she got to the point of saying she wanted this one (i.e. DS) and wished she could steal him hmm

Then I firmly pointed DS in the direction of some flowers to look at which were a long way away from her! (I know I know, she didn't mean it but it did make me uncomfortable)

BrokenSunglasses Mon 23-Sep-13 17:52:06

I prefer being able to make faces at babies and get them to smile without having to make inane small talk with their mothers, so the people you met would have suited me.

I like babies more than I like randoms who just happen to be shopping at the same time as me.

JenaiMorris Mon 23-Sep-13 17:52:27

I once got terribly upset after a trip into town because not as many people as usual cooed over baby ds blush

I'm quite sure I always smiled back, although sleep deprivation and general new parent befuddlement might have caused me to miss a few of his worshipers.

WantedGSOH Mon 23-Sep-13 17:53:31

I have a ninth month old DS who's always on the lookout for someone to return his giant gummy grins.. Especially in supermarket. I love it when people interact with him, makes me feel proud.

Today an old chap got caught in the smiling radar, & stopped & said "ooh, you're giving me an oldfashioned look aren't you son?" Then looked at me. I was abit confused but nodded inanely!

Please keep smiling, it may be my baby one day & we both like it!

also perhaps you should go to waitrise instead

candycoatedwaterdrops Mon 23-Sep-13 17:55:07

I have a face that makes babies smile which is either very good or very bad. I've had a similar experience to you, OP and been glared at like I was attacking their baby with a hammer, not smiling at a grizzly tot in a supermarket queue. Never mind, I like babies - their parents, not so much!

SilverApples Mon 23-Sep-13 17:56:17

I make a baby smile, that's enough interaction for me. I rather like being able to do it without the adult noticing.

mrsjay Mon 23-Sep-13 17:56:23

oh dear thats a shame they ignored you you are turning into a baby botherer grin I am one of those,

tbh some parents just dont have a clue how to interact and sometimes they hear so much about people invading space that they are untrusting of people which is sad, I love talking to babies and I sometimes get funny looks or blank faces, hey least the baby smiled

whippetwoman Mon 23-Sep-13 17:57:29

I do smile at people who make my 14 month old DS smile but I am shy with strangers and do feel a bit embarrassed and self-conscious doing it sometimes. It's just shyness on my part I think. I wouldn't ignore them though or walk about with a face like a slapped arse.

DeWe Mon 23-Sep-13 18:00:29

I wouldn't necessarily respond if you were talking to your friend. If you addressed me I would.

squoosh Mon 23-Sep-13 18:03:12

The last child I smiled at shouted to his Dad 'I DON'T LIKE THAT LADY....DAD, DAD...............I DON'T LIKE THAT LADY.'

That'll teach me for smiling nicely at an unknown child. The father and I did find it hilarious though. grin

LynetteScavo Mon 23-Sep-13 18:12:09

You want thanks from the parents for making a baby smile? confused

I smile at babies if the opportunity arises. A smile back from the baby would be enough thanks for me. I wouldn't expect anything from the parents.

God, I've been there - trying to shop with a baby, dreading they were going to demand the next feed before I'd actually tried anything on. The most you would have got out of me if you interacted with my baby would have been a weak and weary smile.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 18:13:54

no - just a smile of recognition that you bothered.
i dont NEED IT , no, just noticed that it doesn't happen

this isnt like a huge deal, its my day off, I had noticed it, thats al

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 23-Sep-13 18:22:36

A weak and weary smile is nice.

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 18:24:54

I'm the mother of a toddler quite mardy so unlikely to crack you a smile, OP. And if you're interacting with my baby, why do I have to, pray tell? That my children are adorable is not something I am really responsible for (see above, esp. 'mardy'). Also, if you are only fawning over them to solicit my approval, I can give you a massive list of things I am more impressed by. Or is it that you think I should be grateful for your unsolicited attention? I find it difficult to be anything but begrudging in this context, partially because I resent the way that being a mother is such a public role, in the sense that it feels like people are constantly on the guidelines grading my performance. Giving me ten out of ten doesn't really placate me, because it's the sense of being graded I resent. But then I am very, very mardy.

LimitedEditionLady Mon 23-Sep-13 18:30:27

I dont think i always smile at people when they talk to ds,depends on whether im occupied with something else at the same time ie paying in a shop and talking to cashier but if its someone directly in front of me i always acknowledge.

BetsyBidwell Mon 23-Sep-13 18:33:03

you have lots of mates, then sparklyboots? grin

Sparklyboots Mon 23-Sep-13 18:35:10

Actually, I do. It's the randoms that irritate my mardy bone

AveryJessup Mon 23-Sep-13 18:47:03

Sometimes I feel a bit awkward when someone interacts with my DS like this as I'm never sure if they want to interact with me too or are just smiling / waving at the cute toddler in passing. If it's obvious that they're stopping to talk then I'll smile back and say 'thank you' if they're complimenting him. If it's a quick smile and wave then I'll vaguely smile into the middle distance too, kind of hovering. But sometimes it's not clear and I don't want it to turn into something awkward so I just keep moving, trying to look friendly IYKWIM!

YANBU to expect them to smile back and be friendly but it just won't necessarily happen every time for various reasons. Not everyone has great social skills etc.

Jackanory1978 Mon 23-Sep-13 19:21:56

I love it when someone smiles at my baby & calls him cute cos obviously he is the cutest baby in the world, ever it always makes me smile at them. Tbh I feel a bit miffed when shop assistants etc ignore him.

Plus having been entertaining a 5 month old all day it's nice to speak to some grown up people, & the baby is the perfect ice breaker.

Oriunda Mon 23-Sep-13 19:24:01

If they're directly in front of me eg at supermarket till I will always smile back. However, one thing I am less happy about is people on night flights trying to wave at my toddler from the seats in front/behind when I am very obviously trying to get him to calm down/off to sleep.

phantomnamechanger Mon 23-Sep-13 19:33:03

I smile and play peekaboo all the time with bored looking babies and tots whose parents/carers are too busy texting or talking to a friend to interact with them. the babies love it, the carers sometimes do not even notice.

I well remember the glow I felt when a drunk young man (skinhead, tatts) stopped dead in front of 6 mo DD in buggy and said , wow lady, that is the most gorgeous baby girl I ever saw, just look at those big blue eyes. Another time I bought a Big Issue of a 40 + man, he said thanks darling and god bless you and your beautiful baby (crouching to smile at DD and she smiled back). Little things make a difference.

some people are too busy/stressed/self obsessed to smile or even notice others around them, and that's sad.

K8Middleton Mon 23-Sep-13 19:36:44

You sound a bit needy. I have a smiley baby and if I smiled at everyone she did I wouldn't get anything done for grinning like a loon all the live long day. After 4 or 5 inane chats about my smiley baby I start to feel a bit irritable.

Really, I am knackered and I have a baby to entertain. I can do without entertaining strangers too. But I live in London where we'd rather cut our own heads off than have a chat with a stranger so if I manage half a dozen inane chats a day I am waaaaaay above quota.

purrpurr Mon 23-Sep-13 19:53:49

God, I was that person today. At Drs with DD, 4 months old. A few ladies were smiling at her and I was swinging her about a bit to make her giggle instead of cry and 1) I was shit at socialising pre-baby, I'm just as crap now AND I'm more exhausted than I ever thought possible, I feel sick most of the time, not conducive to socialising and 2) heaving a 13lb baby around is flipping hard work, I was a sweaty gaspy mess after a few minutes.

Dear nice smiley ladies,
I'm sorry for being crap. DD liked you and I liked that you helped keep her happy until her appointment.
Insert friendly comments about the weather and current affairs (or whatever it is we're supposed to talk about when socialising)

MrsOakenshield Mon 23-Sep-13 20:00:02

they may have been completely zombified after the night from hell - who knows. Probably later on they'll remember your comments and smile.

purrpurr Mon 23-Sep-13 20:03:13

Mrs, ain't that the truth. A lady in the pharmacy today really went all out to try to coax a smile from a tired DD and I could have hugged her.

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