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To wonder why my face has changed since having DD

(35 Posts)
VulvaVoom Mon 23-Sep-13 13:52:16

I look old and my face somehow looks more hang dog and haggard. I have those brown marks on my face, which doesn't help at all but I had them even BEFORE getting pregnant.

I'm getting decent sleep now (she's 11 months old) but when I look at pictures of me on my honeymoon 4 years ago, I can't believe how lovely, glowing and well, quite nice I look compared to now. Now I look shit and I don't think any amount of face cream will do anything.

Not being big headed (I promise) but even though I'm overweight, I've always scrubbed up well and been fairly photogenic but when I looked at pics of me at a recent wedding, I look like I have no make up on at all even though I took care and time doing it - WTF has happened?? And how can I get my old face back sad

BTW I know it's not a huge deal and my DD is worth it but I'm suffering from depression, so my confidence is pretty crap anyway.

greenbananas Mon 23-Sep-13 21:39:30

I bet you don't look as bad as you think you do! It is possibly the depression that makes you feel like this? Have you got any support (family, friends, doctor?)

Ithink Ihave read on here before about brown spots and pregnancy, but don't have any useful advice to offer... don't know how old you are, but some of it might just be natural ageing. When I had DS 1 I was 35, and I thought the pictures of me holding him as a baby were terrible. I nearly deleted them. Now I am 40, and DS 2 is not quite a year old, I look at those pictures with nostalgia, thinking didn't I have young looking clear skin, even though they horrified me at the time. I have loads more freckles than Iused to, am ageing fast, but have never been happier with my body because it does what I need it to do - in a way my confidence has never been greater because I simply do not care any more about the odd wrinkle grin

Your body has done an amazing thing, having your daughter.

If you are young, you have plenty of time to claw back your beauty with good diet, exercise and clean living. If, like me, you are truly past it (and I bet you aren't!) you can still do the best you can with it and look good.

I do suspect that this is more about depression than actual physical stuff. Big hugs to you...

CoffeeTea103 Mon 23-Sep-13 22:06:03

A change from within reflects on the outside. Good eating habits, exercise and you will definitely see a difference. The benefits are well worth the change in lifestyle. Exercise really made a difference to me, skin looked healthy, weight changed and with this brought confidence. It's all linked. Good luck.

Valdeeves Mon 23-Sep-13 22:11:50

I felt exactly the same, it's just that the babies taken a lot out of you. Drink loads of water and switch to a low carb diet - it seems to feed the skin and brings the glow back.

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed Mon 23-Sep-13 22:13:27

I have noticed a change in my face too since having DS almost 6 months ago. I often get taken by surprise when I see myself in the mirror of how much I seem to have aged suddenly.
I'm 34 and my eyes look dreadful.

I try to keep myself smart every day, sticking on a bit of make up and pinning my hair up even if I've nowhere to go - it makes me feel better. But I still look dog rough sad I tend to notice it more when I'm looking in the mirror with DS.

MrsKoala Mon 23-Sep-13 22:18:53

I know exactly what you mean OP. DS is a year olad and i look 10 years older than i did a year ago. Before i had him i looked about 32 (i'm 36) and now about 42. I just don't know what's wrong with my face. It's like it's slipped down a cm. I feel like paintings of St Bartholomew in the mornings when i look in the mirror. My cheek bones are more prominent, so i look drained and my 'marionette' lines are deeper. I do that imaginary face lift thing by pulling my face tighter and just want to cry. Even in my pregnancy i turned heads, but now no one even looks up if i walk in a room.

I don't know what to do because i eat well, exercise loads (lots of walking anyway), have never really been sleep deprived (ds has slept all night from about 6months and even before then only woke for 2 quick bfs). I've lost all the weight i need to. There is nothing i can do it seems bar surgery. I even bought £300 of expensive face cream sad

If you find the answer OP please share, but till then i'll join your pity party ;)

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 23-Sep-13 22:21:55

It's because they "steal your pretty" according to Molly Ringwald...hmm I think it's to do with being knackered and having more responsibility/worry. That's all....have a facial if you helps.

dopeysheep Mon 23-Sep-13 22:25:25

The day after I had my first dd I looked in the mirror and thought " fuck, I have a wrinkle." First one, a crease smack between the eyes.
They do suck the energy out of you but I think you will get your looks back it just takes a while.

lineup Mon 23-Sep-13 22:36:32

would a haircut & colour help? i always find if I'm feeling awful, a good cut, easy to manage really perks me up. clothes I already have suddenly look new again and if feel i've got my mojo back again

a good hairdresser will work with your face, amd fix your hair so your face looks new, iyswim

i would consider this way before surgery

also - i swore by Bio oil to remove pregnancy motherhood brown marks on my face after DD2. also been using Nivea creme, blue pot, working wonders on my crows feet over the last 2 weeks. only 4 quid a pot!

lineup Mon 23-Sep-13 22:39:12

i'm also MAKING myself take a 45 minute walk each morning and already my mood/skin/ability to handle life has improved

MrsKoala Mon 23-Sep-13 22:46:44

ohh good idea about the hair cut. Since I had DS my haircut i've had for my entire life which has always been commented on doesn't suit me any more confused WTF is that all about?!

But i find hairdressers make no suggestions and just recommend i stick with what i've got sad

lineup Mon 23-Sep-13 22:49:22

also - i had post natal depression when dd2 was 6mths, until she was 3 it was an awful time when i hated my face, body, country i lived in, i just couldnt see logic or truth in anything

antidrepressants were the only thing that brought me back

are you taking ad's?

lineup Mon 23-Sep-13 22:52:36

ah Mrs Koala, I hate it when hairdressers just play it safe!

you must find a picture of celeb hair cut/colour you like and show it to them (many are too tired/bored/ to suggest new styles sometimes). Keep trying hairdressers until you find a good one who listens! it took me 2 years to find mine she is precious - doesnt make me talk rubbish small talk and just tells me how well i look (even if I look awful that day!)

MrsKoala Mon 23-Sep-13 23:01:24

Sorry to MErail OP but...Lineup - i have tried loads of hairdressers over the years and they all just stick with what i've got (long dark straight hair with a fringe). If you have any London hairdresser recommendations i'd be most grateful smile

Teapigging Mon 23-Sep-13 23:05:11

I look back at photos of me with my month-old baby and see the remnants of my pregnancy glow and my lovely glossy pregnancy hair, despite a C section and sleepless nights. Now he is a gorgeous toddler and I look about 200 years old. It must be cumulative sleeplessness..?

MrsKoala Mon 23-Sep-13 23:08:34

And seriously what's with the hair loss? i've been moulting for a year and my lovely locks are now half the thickness of what they were even before pregnancy? <wail>

fiatpandababba Mon 23-Sep-13 23:45:25

I got married 2 years ago and I was glowing - and looked so young. I was 36. Ds is 10 months old and I swear I don't recognise myself - my face looks grey, hangs down - hair limp, sweaty and messy from running around all day. I don't wear make up anymore - maybe that would help. Yuck! I also feel like I've aged.

BigBrassBand Tue 24-Sep-13 00:33:33

I think a lot of it is to do with actually being too tired, so the facial muscles are slack... If you want to terrify yourselves, look downwards into a hand mirror!

Lots of veg helps, NO booze or fagarettes, exfoliate your face and use that Boots serum stuff before moisturiser. Try and sleep. Stress and tiredness face must wear off after the first 3 years, I hope!

TheSeaPriestess Tue 24-Sep-13 00:39:07

I felt like this and had Botox! Fucking brilliant stuff, sod spending £300 on useless face cream! It's worn off now so I look shit again but even now my forehead wrinkles are nowhere near as bad as they were.

I'm going for the slightly cheaper and less invasive fringe now to cover them next as I'm skint.

MrsKoala Tue 24-Sep-13 00:54:02

yeah, Seapriestess i'm thinking about something like that, i had a bit put aside to sort my boobs out after being utterly ruined, but may re-allocate the funds to sort the old boat race out. After all it's only DH who sees the thrupennies now. wink

MrsKoala Tue 24-Sep-13 01:12:19

Right - inspired by this thread i'm of to Style and Beauty to see what's new.

TrucksAndDinosaurs Tue 24-Sep-13 03:01:08

Style and Beauty and the low carb/5:2/exercise forums deserve flowers - they have made me look and feel so much better since I started reading and acting on advice from their after 2 years haggard puffy baggy sadness.

Jillian Michaels DVD 30 min day x 5 days a week.
Low carb/primal/bit of fasting/bin bread and beer and sugar, eat meat veg fish fat nuts yog cheese drink dry wine.
Reading about 'getting colours done' and working out what mine are
Embracing the fitted garment instead of the flappy tent
The bra interventions - I'm 32DD not 36B who knew?
Getting long lank hair into a choppy toffee coloured bob
Threaded brows
Short plain buffed fingernails and dark wine ties
Coconut oil and hot wet muslin face cleanse
Hot lemon water first thing and 3litres water a day
Chuck out bobbly/sad/ill fitting garments and reorganise pant drawer and wardrobe
Use BB cream and quick lick brown
Mascara and cream blush and bright lippie mixed with Vaseline
Don't keep nice stuff for best - wear it and feel nice even if you're just going out for milk and petrol
New dark skinny boot cuts taken up and hemmed by a pro tailor
Under eye cream always
One seriously early night a week

I tell you what, it's fucking amazing. I'd basically given up age 42 after 2 years of tested-to-destruction sleep deprivation and SN parenting drama. It was bloody MN that showed me how to get it back. Oh I love you guys.
OP, it's not gone. It's there. Carve out 30 minutes a day for yourself and 15 minutes after DC in bed and take it back, you're worth it smile

TrucksAndDinosaurs Tue 24-Sep-13 03:05:07

There not their
Dark red wine toes not ties
Damn you phone.

AngryBeaver Tue 24-Sep-13 04:34:50

Google, Jeuvoderm Voluma. That is all ;)

Kiwiinkits Tue 24-Sep-13 04:39:43

Trilogy Rosehip Oil is the BUSINESS for brown spots or scars of any sort. I swear that stuff has magical properties.

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