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to be really cross with my eldest daughter's school?

(113 Posts)
freddiefrog Mon 23-Sep-13 10:19:26

and to have expected them to call me if they were sending her home?

Came home from dropping DD2 at school to find DD1 (who is 11 and started secondary school, 2 and a half weeks ago) sitting on the doorstep as she'd been sent home from school for not wearing correct uniform

DD1 stayed over at a friend's house on Friday night - friend's birthday and they were going out for a pizza and a sleepover. She went straight there from school on Friday and friend's dad dropped her home Saturday afternoon. When she got home she realised that she'd left her school shoes behind. We tried several times over the weekend to contact friend to get the shoes back, but we didn't manage to get hold of her until quite late last night so it was arranged that DD would meet her friend in the school reception area this morning and get her shoes.

DD went off to school this morning in a pair of plain black, lace up plimsoll type shoes with a note from me explaining what had happened. They're not uniform regulation shoes, however, she was only ever going to wear them to school and change into her proper shoes as soon as she got there so I thought it would be fine

She got as far as the gate when a teacher picked up on her shoes and wouldn't let her enter the school grounds and sent her home. DD says she tried to explain to the teacher that her friend was waiting for her in reception with her proper shoes, but he wouldn't listen to a word she said and refused to read the note I'd written.

What if I'd gone off to work or out for the day assuming my DD was safely in school? No one called me, they're not allowed mobile phones in school (they're confiscated every morning and returned every evening) so she doesn't take hers in with her so had no way of contacting me herself

I've taken her back and she's now in school, in the correct shoes, and I've asked for someone to call me as I'm really cross about it.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit Mon 23-Sep-13 10:21:22

I would be furious too, and yes, I'd say something. Put it in writing, rather than just ringing though.

quoteunquote Mon 23-Sep-13 10:23:16

Completely ridiculous way to treat one of the youngest new member of the school,

At least you know it's a shit school now, find a better one where they care about the child.

absentmindeddooooodles Mon 23-Sep-13 10:23:55

Definatley complain. Thays bloody rubbish behaviour. Your poor dd has only just started school! I remember at my school even up until 16 they had to contact parents before we could be sent home at all.

Ireallymustbemad Mon 23-Sep-13 10:24:28

YANBU at all. They should have read the note firstly and even if they didn't do that they should have phoned you to explain they'd sent her home.

Andro Mon 23-Sep-13 10:24:36

Refusing to read a parental note is bad, not calling/texting you is worse...but why doesn't your DD have her own key? At secondary school, even if the school is on the ball about contacting parents about sending children home, they don't wait for parental acknowledgement - what would happen if their was a sudden and unforeseen need to close the school?

YANBU to be cross, but I do think she needs her own key in case of emergencies

Ireallymustbemad Mon 23-Sep-13 10:25:02

I should add that they should be more lenient with new yr7s too.

Bluebell99 Mon 23-Sep-13 10:28:50

That is really bad, I would be furious.

Hopasholic Mon 23-Sep-13 10:29:56

I'd be livid! Too right, what if you'd been at work all day? The teacher should have given your DD chance to explain,he didn't therefore I would want an apology directly from the teacher.

She's only 11 FFs! What would sending her home achieve exactly when her shoes were at school?

PuppyMonkey Mon 23-Sep-13 10:33:05

Yanbu what a twatty teacher and what a stupid waste of everyone's time and energy.

3littlefrogs Mon 23-Sep-13 10:34:46

That is shocking. What if something had happened to her? You would have had no idea.

ZenGardener Mon 23-Sep-13 10:37:42

I just cannot understand in whose interest it is to send children home for uniform offenses.

freddiefrog Mon 23-Sep-13 10:38:26

Unfortunately, we didn't get DD into the school we wanted and this one is the best of a bad bunch so nowhere better to move her to.

She doesn't have a key as she's never needed one, there's usually someone around (DH and I work from home so 99% of the time one of us is in, except this morning, typically) so it's never come up before. She was only actually out there 5 minutes, but school couldn't have known that.

I'm really cross with the teacher as well. They are strict about uniform, but the rest of her uniform was present and correct and DD was going to change into her proper shoes straight away, I don't think she should have been sent home in the first place.

I'm going to email them now.


elinorbellowed Mon 23-Sep-13 10:40:27

Yeah, that's ridiculous. The note should have cleared up all confusion and if he really thought she was a lying little toerag who'd forged her mother's handwriting he should have sent her to the Head of Year when she got in. Is the teacher a senior member of staff? Because most teachers don't have the authority to send kids home. If he is, then you know what kind of school it is.

Tailtwister Mon 23-Sep-13 10:51:01

Absolutely complain. If the teacher had bothered to listen to her and read her not, he would have realised the situation. He was just being bloody minded.

freddiefrog Mon 23-Sep-13 10:53:45

She doesn't know who the teacher is, she doesn't have him for any of her lessons so doesn't really know who he is. She said he's always at the gate checking uniform in the mornings so I assume he must be quite senior.

Even if he didn't believe her and has heard the same excuses before, he should have at least heard her out and read my note, he could have made her check in with her correct shoes at registration.

I've dug out the head's email address and emailed her direct.

MrsOakenshield Mon 23-Sep-13 10:54:46

I wonder what the school's policy is in bad weather, presumably a lot of children will turn up in boots if it's very cold, raining or snowing, and change into their shoes once inside - would that not be allowed?

I used to be very pro-uniform but the more I read about nonsense like this the less convinced I am!

Hullygully Mon 23-Sep-13 10:55:15

They are WANKERS

This sort of thing drives me insane.

Sposed to be a place of happiness and learning, not a sodding Gulag.

superlambanana Mon 23-Sep-13 10:56:42

That's ridiculous. And I used to be a secondary teacher. I was extremely picky about uniform but there's no way I would have not let your daughter in in that situation!

NatashaBee Mon 23-Sep-13 11:08:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fuzzysnout Mon 23-Sep-13 11:08:20

Yes, I'm all in favour of strict uniform rules being upheld but they treated her very badly. I would be pointing out that they have failed in their duty of care towards her. Anything could have happened whilst she was alone without your knowledge. I don't see how you could have handled the situation any better with your efforts to get the shoes and write the note. I would except to meet them and recieve an apology. Saying that as an education professional.

treadheavily Mon 23-Sep-13 11:09:47

Wow how to make a mountain out of a molehill. The teacher, I mean, not your daughter. Was she upset?

Sukey99 Mon 23-Sep-13 11:17:13

No, you're not being unreasonable. The teacher concerned deserves to be read the riot act.

freddiefrog Mon 23-Sep-13 11:23:04

I'm not sure what happens with boots actually.

I'll ask how her absence is recorded, not sure. Unauthorised I'd guess

My friend has a daughter there a couple of years above DD and last year she was telling me that school sent out texts informing parents when their children could wear coats to school so I assume they expect you to wait for their authorisation

I hate the school to be honest, I really didn't want her to go there but she likes it and all her friends are there (her whole primary school class go there) so I'm trying really hard to be supportive and keep my negativity at bay, but then they go and pull shit like this.

Merrylegs Mon 23-Sep-13 11:31:39

Oh, I usually roll my eyes at fumming parents threads but this is very shortsighted and unimaginative behaviour by the teacher. I actually think the teacher is not very senior - usually the higher up you are the more authority you have to find creative solutions. He obviously cannot deviate from beng a jobsworth.

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