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To tell dp to get a grip and grow up

(132 Posts)
Joanne279 Mon 23-Sep-13 08:14:02

Seriously, I'm fuming.

This argument started last night when my ex (dad to dd1 and ds 2) dropped the kids home after a weekend at his.

My dp didn't like the way he glanced up a few times at the window at him (our lounge is on the middle floor on over 3 stories)

After the kids came upstairs, he flipped threatening to punch kids dad if he did it again. Kids were in the room. I went MENTAL! You can have your opinion but don't spout it infront of the kids!!!! Ever!!!!

He thought I was supporting ex and just got worse and worse. I went to bed at 8 to give him chance to cool off, me too as well. Thought we could talk I'm the morning once chilled.

His attitude is even worse this morning and when questioned over saying things in front of the kids he said 'so' !!!!!!!

I've told him to get a grip as my kids come over him any day off the week (we also have dd3 together) but I'm not having his sarcastic shit infrin of them. It's alot tbh. Stuff like 'yay it's daddy birthday' followed by 'like I care'

It's their dad and the end of the day. What me him or anyone else thinks can be said in private.

The ex's new girls friends mum dropped dd1 coat off at 9 last night and he went mental. I thought it was very grown up to visit my house to ensure a child had her coat for school.

Urgh. Is it me or does he need to get a grip? X x x

YoureBeingADick Tue 24-Sep-13 14:48:59

hi OP- it is horrible in the first few days but do know that you have done a brilliant thing for yourself. you have taken the hardest step- the rest will come easier.

has he been in touch?

KellyElly Wed 25-Sep-13 10:01:24

How are you OP?

PedantMarina Sun 29-Sep-13 00:05:47

Re: blamers. Listen, I don't want to hijack threads (which is why I rarely post anything substantive of my own life), but if it helps, this anecdote from my own experience, an EA ex-boss who was NEVER to blame for anything: I got back into office after Christmas and Boxing Day off to hear him harangue me in a 2-page email.

What had I possibly done?

Well let's start with the fact. He came in to the office when nobody else was there, en route to his European break, and didn't remember to pick up his rucksack (which contained his passport) until he was in the queue for border control at Dover. Then he had to turn his car around and come back [to the London area] and collect said rucksack and go back, having missed at least one ferry in the interim.

He decided that it wasn't him not remembering to remember, in anticipation of an international trip, where his passport was at all times (not to mention anything else he'd left in his rucksack an hour before). No, that can't be - it was all MY FAULT because I didn't keep the office clean enough that he couldn't identify his rucksack on the floor, like, where he'd left is. And, NB, it's not like the place was cluttered - he said this because there was things that weren't desk- or chair-legs on the floor.

He actually said things like this with a straight face.

I hope this example sounds ridiculous. It's gods-honest-truth-ridiculous, and that's what I meant it to be.

puntasticusername Sun 29-Sep-13 00:40:00

Bloody hell. Have only just joined mn, and this thread has rather blown my socks off. Now I know why people value mn so very, very much...

OP, from the sound of it it's a very good thing that this man is now out of your life. You sound like a very strong, caring, lovely person who always puts her children first and is raising them brilliantly, if that letter from your dd is anything to go by! Keep doing the amazing job you're doing, stay strong and keep coming to mn for fantastic support, such as you've received on this thread! All the very best to you.

raisah Sun 29-Sep-13 04:06:29

You and your ex are being mature abour the handover & your ex was good to send someone else with the coat. Get rid of your dp before his hatred of your ex prejudices his relationship with your kids, he might target target them next. If he is threatening to punch their dad, it wont be long before he threatens to punch them for something stupis.

Mojavewonderer Sun 29-Sep-13 08:11:12

My husband is the same op and it's just plain and simple jealousy. I can tell you now though that my husband never speaks ill of my kids dad in front of them anymore because it was effecting his relationship with my kids which he really cares about.
He used to slate his ex in front of his kids too and I warned him that his kids would start to refuse to come and that has stopped too.
When the kids are safely tucked away in bed we can have a good old moan about the ex's ;)

Mojavewonderer Sun 29-Sep-13 08:11:54

I meant 'was' the same, not 'is'

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