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To think it is not wrong or weird to have a relationship with someone.....

(36 Posts)
BigFatLeaf Sun 22-Sep-13 21:23:35

Who you don't think you will spend "forever" with.

I love the bones of DP, but for various reasons I unfortunately don't see us being together in ten year time (think different opinions on kids etc). It does make me incredibly sad that there will come a point when we have to call it a day.

My friend thinks it's very weird that my soul propose is not finding a husband, whereas I'm perfectly happy just being in love at the moment, even though I know it's not forever.

AnnieLobeseder Sun 22-Sep-13 22:32:36

As long as you're both on the same page, why not enjoy your time with someone, and just be "in the now"? As long as you're prepared to pay the price when it ends... but then, that's the case with any relationship. Nothing is forever.

BigFatLeaf Sun 22-Sep-13 22:34:29

I don't know if I'm bi, this is the first time I've been with a woman, and it was very much a case of I fell for "her" and not her gender IYSWIM.

I think I would really struggle to be in an openly gay relationship, I'm not 100% sure why, I suppose it is just because I always saw myself with a man and I'm not sure I can handle the prejudice that sadly still often exists.

CressidaMontgomery Sun 22-Sep-13 22:37:06

Hmm. I still think you're gay or at least bi. Purely because you're in a relationship with another woman. But that's probably not the issues here.

To answer your OP - relationships are different things to different people so if you're getting on and happy then it doesn't really matter what the future might hold.

If you are constantly thinking about big issues and its all full of angst etc then I can't see the point in continuing

MrsKoala Sun 22-Sep-13 22:37:19

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you are honest.

DH and I don't think we will be together forever, we'd like to be proved wrong tho.

A friend fell in love with a much older man. He had adult children and wanted no more, she didn't want kids yet (as only 20 at the time) so they happily lived together for 5 years. When she decided it was time to leave they were sad but wished each other well. And they did love each other very much.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 22-Sep-13 22:46:42


I totally understand what you're saying re falling for her. Been there. Never before or since. It was her instance I "came out" that ended the relationship in my case. It wasn't that I was embarrassed, more the being very forceful about it. Despite the face she was very much gay, she believed she would end up married to a man. I would categorise myself as heterosexual if asked because she's the only woman I have ever been attracted to.

I would worry less about what other people think and how the relationship feels. If it's right then it would be an awful shame to end it to keep up appearances for random strangers (99.9% of people won't give a toss who you're holding hands with in the street). If it doesn't feel right then it will come to a natural end.

WholeNutt Sun 22-Sep-13 23:32:34

One thing is certain we will all one day kick the bucket so nothing is forever. If you love each other and are happy ticking along as you are then ynbu. Enjoy it some people search a lifetime looking for their true love and never find it.

utreas Mon 23-Sep-13 00:08:41

Have you told your partner this? If you have the YANBU but if you haven't YABU.

MyBaby1day Mon 23-Sep-13 00:53:41

I'm not at all lucky in relationships but even with friendships often wonder how long certain things will last. But I think it's nice to hope you will always be together, it's sweeter that way.

PeppiNephrine Mon 23-Sep-13 00:57:42

You're in love with and in a relationship with a woman, you say you aren't gay, but your issue is with whether you should feel like you'll be together forever?
I think you're missing some much bigger issues than that.

DontPanicMrMannering Mon 23-Sep-13 01:32:15

From your op yanbu.

From your updates yabvu sounds like you are not willing to commit to even think about "forever" as you are not willing to accept you are in a gay relationship.

If you are having sex with a woman you are gay or bi, you need to not reject that fact.

You aren't being fair to her imho.

TigerSwallowTail Mon 23-Sep-13 18:36:14

If it makes you feel better OP, my sister and her partner have just adopted a little baby and they've not experienced any prejudice, everyone has been very welcoming of the new addition and she's just slotted in as part of the family.

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