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To think I should tell this child's mother

(105 Posts)
Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:00:20

At my DDs swimming school class last week one of the children spent the majority of the 30 minute session in tears. Towards the end one of the teachers seem to be getting quite frustrated and said 'If you don't stop crying I'll take you down the deep end' her mother didn't hear this as she was down the other end, I don't know her but should I tell her? I don't think using the deep end as a threat is helpful especially to a child who seems petrified anyway

Justforlaughs Sun 22-Sep-13 13:02:54

I would, and if it was MY child I would want you to. (just so I could push the teacher in the deep end myself! wink )

Silvercatowner Sun 22-Sep-13 13:05:14

Flipping heck yes! Poor kid.

AgentZigzag Sun 22-Sep-13 13:06:33

How old are they?

Was she crying because she was scared?

It is frustrating when DC can't stop crying, but it's the instructors job to be able to take that in their stride. It's surprising they thought the threat of drowning would improve the swimmers confidence, they could have told her to get out if she was that upset.

Why did the mum leave her in there while she was so upset for so long though?

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:09:28

She looked 4-5 ish, she seemed scared as didn't want to let go of the side to be taken with float to do a width. The mum was down the other end chatting to some other parents

MikeOxard Sun 22-Sep-13 13:11:30

Yes, of course tell the mother, she needs to know imo. I would want to know if this had happened to my child, because I would definitely be swapping swimming classes. That's disgraceful. Please do tell her ASAP.

Icelollycraving Sun 22-Sep-13 13:12:45

Tell her! Poor kid sad
If someone said something like that to my ds I would want to know.

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:14:47

It also crossed my mind that she might freak out when her mum takes her swimming for pleasure and she wouldn't know why

AgentZigzag Sun 22-Sep-13 13:15:27

Aww, only little then.

The right age for taking an adult saying something like that at their word.

Itsaboatjack Sun 22-Sep-13 13:20:59

Had the mother been down the other end chatting for the whole lesson while the child had been crying? If so then you may be wasting you time telling her as she doesn't seem that bothered.

I understand giving your child some space to see if they'll calm down and get into the lesson themselves, but if my child had been crying for all that time I would have taken them out of the pool already.

calopene Sun 22-Sep-13 13:21:13

NO ! Just a comment and may even have been in jest .......what is it with people who think it is their job to bé a 'public snitch'. I would tell you to mind your own business and likely the kid will forget the comment anyway. Mountain out of molehill !

everlong Sun 22-Sep-13 13:21:47

Yes tell her.

Tbh I would have said something to the teacher if I'd have heard that.

Horrible threat.

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:25:06

grin at 'public snitch' maybe I should get a little badge made

kali110 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:27:28

Actually agree with calopene here

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:29:45

She's clearly a child psychologist

FriskyHenderson Sun 22-Sep-13 13:31:32

Don't get a badge made. People could read it as 'pubic itch' and life would get very lonely.

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:32:39

Can I at least get a little pad to write my findings in

SanityClause Sun 22-Sep-13 13:34:07

No, I think you should say something.

Be very careful not to let it sound like a criticism of the mother, though. She might think you are telling her off for not watching closely enough, rather than just giving her information, and letting her decide what to do about it.

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:37:16

Tbh I'm don't think anything of the mum being down the other end as the swimming school often encourage that as some kids play up when the parents are watching. I just think it was an off putting and potentially upsetting thing to say to a little kid and if this girl wants to make a career out of swimming teaching she needs to learn how to handle it better

breatheslowly Sun 22-Sep-13 13:40:35

Would you want to know? I would.

calopene Sun 22-Sep-13 13:42:12

Have you nothing better to do at swimming ? Read ? Ipad ?

Gruntfuttock Sun 22-Sep-13 13:42:13

The trouble is, you never how people will react when told something like this. She might say "Thank you for telling me" or she might say "Mind your own fucking business, why are you looking at my kid anyway?" One never knows, does one?

Thepowerof3 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:44:41

Clearly not Calopene, public snitches have to be ever vigilant don't we

hettienne Sun 22-Sep-13 13:45:47

I wouldn't approach the mother just to inform her, but if you can get chatting to her generally I would say something like "the swimming teacher can be quite strict, I hope your Jane wasn't upset about being told she'd take her to the deep end last week".

breatheslowly Sun 22-Sep-13 13:46:44

I'd probably pull my DD out of the lessons if she spent them in tears and certainly if threatened like that. It can't be conducive to learning to swim.

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