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to leave nine year old son at home while we go grocery shopping?

(131 Posts)
KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 22-Sep-13 10:35:09

My husband wanted me to ask. He thinks it would be illegal.

We have 3 boys. Together they are a handful. I can't drive with a broken arm. I think oldest can be home alone for an hour. He will just watch e enough to tv, happy to have it to himself. He is clever and sensible enough to call us or 999 if needed. We can put youngest in seat of trolly, and middle is fairly docile without older brother egging him on. Would be less hassle if the two aren't trying to race up and down the aisles.

While I typed this DH googled and saw that it's not illegal. Now we're just interested in opinions.

MortifiedAdams Sun 22-Sep-13 11:05:14

So then take all your kids.

You want to go shopping,.you want your dh with you, you have three young children.

Take them all.

MortifiedAdams Sun 22-Sep-13 11:05:26

So then take all your kids.

You want to go shopping,.you want your dh with you, you have three young children.

Take them all.

tombliboouun Sun 22-Sep-13 11:05:28

What a melodrama. If you feel your ds is mature enough then do it. But an hour to 2 hours max only.

MortifiedAdams Sun 22-Sep-13 11:05:37


kilmuir Sun 22-Sep-13 11:05:57

If he is sensible enough to be left for an hour then surely he is sensible enough to walk around a shop ? He would be the easy child to take surely

Lweji Sun 22-Sep-13 11:14:25

I'm not against you leaving him, but would probably try to give him some reaponsibility over the shopping.
My 8 year old is capable of picking up usual stuff at the supermarket.
Maybe promise a treat if they behave?

MissBattleaxe Sun 22-Sep-13 11:15:06

I think your priorities are a bit skewed. You've got a broken arm and you're keen to do the shop in person. You've got three kids, one of whom is nine.

You seem so keen to do the shop that you want to leave him behind.

If you had a prang in the car, four of you would be together and he would be alone. If you were popping to a corner shop I'd probably say yes, but doing a big shop, checking out the new items with two kids in tow etc, is going to be a long involved outing.

It's not just about the old chestnut of whether there's a fire, it's also about- won't he feel a bit left out?

VisualiseAHorse Sun 22-Sep-13 11:20:50

Just do an online shop, much easier. It's only for a short while.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sun 22-Sep-13 11:25:12

DH goes a lot but we are doing some menu planning, switching to packed lunches, and looking to change our diets.

And this couldn't wait a week or two? You are creating a problem where there isn't one IMHO.

picnicbasketcase Sun 22-Sep-13 11:27:11

9 is a bit young but there's no law on what age children can be left. You know him best, so you know if he can be trusted.

makemineamalibuandpineapple Sun 22-Sep-13 11:27:18

Can't you do an online shop or DH go on his own?

WaitMonkey Sun 22-Sep-13 11:31:48

It's not illegal, but I don't think a 9 year old is responsible enough to be left. You should do online shopping or take all your children. If you think he is responsible enough to be left alone, then he is responsible enough to behave in a supermarket. And yes, I also have 3 young children, so I know it's not always easy. I've a feeling you had already made your mind up before this thread though.

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 22-Sep-13 11:32:50

He will love being alone. Prefer it to coming with. I am stir crazy in house, I admit. I won't be able to go anywhere until next weekend. So I want to go.

I have done online shopping in past. It's sort of ok for getting some basics in. I don't like it for fresh produce or dairy with short shelf life. Seems they always sent stuff on the sell by date. I like to buy the fruit and veg that looks best. AND Even posting here is difficult for me with my left hand.

I think ds will be safe and happy at home.I like the idea of checking in with phone and having MIL checking if she doesn't hear from us. DH is surprised that I'm not being flamed to a crisp and that anyone else is OK with it. He thought the law was 13 years old.

WaitMonkey Sun 22-Sep-13 11:35:42

Sorry, my post may have come across a bit like I was criticizing, I didn't mean it to be, that's the trouble with written down communication.

WaitMonkey Sun 22-Sep-13 11:37:46

How did you break your arm ? I take it your not able to work at the.moment. You must be very fed up. thanks

McNewPants2013 Sun 22-Sep-13 11:38:42

if he cant be trusted to walk around a supermarket with his parents present then IMO he cant be trusted to stay in the house on his own.

CoffeeTea103 Sun 22-Sep-13 11:40:56

It's irresponsible. Yabu

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 22-Sep-13 11:42:32

Yes.I made up my mind. my husband was curious to see what others thought.

oldest ds on his own is fine in shop. middle ds is ok in shop. together they act differently. i guess vying for attention.I do take all 3 out together by myself frequently. It's hard but I manage. Especially if I need to focus or think. DH gets very flustered. He doesn't like eating out, etc. because he gets so upset by fairly normal behaviour. He would find it very hard to do this shop and be able to focus on the task.

Schnitzel, it can't wait. DH got 40% pay cut the same week I lost my income. We need to do drastic changes in diet/menu.

AaDB Sun 22-Sep-13 11:45:50

I think he will be totally fine and I would leave him for an hour or two. Mil as a backup sounds sensible.

My ds is almost seven and whilst is sensible enough, is a bit to young to be left. I'd hope by age 9 he is able to stay alone for short spells.

balia Sun 22-Sep-13 11:48:05

No, wouldn't do it. Too long for a 9 year old to be alone, too much could go wrong. It's not a question of trust, he's hardly likely to have a house party, but of care - what if he falls, hurts himself, someone bangs on the door and he gets scared... TBH I'm a bit hmm that two adults can't manage 3 small children on a grocery shop, even with a broken arm.

Given the reasons outlined, wouldn't it make more sense for you to take a taxi just this once and leave DH home with all 3?

5madthings Sun 22-Sep-13 11:48:18

He won't feel left out a, lol!

He will enjoy being trusted and thought of as responsible smile

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 22-Sep-13 11:48:38

monkey, I fell and broke my arm working. At the same time, dh was forced to take a huge pay cut. But the good thing is he is home with us again after being away since Christmas. I got into bad habits doing everything on my own and we're trying to get into a good routine with diets, discipline, chores, etc.

londonmum14 Sun 22-Sep-13 11:54:29

Take him along but leave him "looking after the car" while the rest of you are shopping inside. I think he's too young to stay at home. How much trouble can get into in the car by himself?

Justforlaughs Sun 22-Sep-13 11:54:54

It really depends on so many things; where you live; if there are neighbours handy in case of a real emergency; how sensible the child is; how long you are going to be; if there is someone who - like your MIL - in case of mishap when you are out, such a prang in the car/ traffic jam etc. I left my DS3, in this house, at 9, but wouldn't have left my DS1 in our last house. Make your own, educated decision, based on your own real circumstances but don't let your own wishes and preferences affect those. You could tie a shopping trip in with a cinema outing or similar to make it more palatable to a 9 year old, and give you a real outing.

TheAwfulDaughter Sun 22-Sep-13 11:55:28

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