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'R U A young mum????' AIBU?

(101 Posts)
NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 08:54:59

Hello all, I'm an lurker/occasional poster, this is my first AIBU thread so I'm a little bit scared grin

I received a letter and flyer in the post yesterday inviting me to attend a 'young mums group'
In large font (comic sans shock) at the top of the flyer it reads:

R U A Young mum or young mum 2 B???
R U 19 or under???
R U looking 2 make friends???

AIBU to be extremely put off by this and to find it a little patronising? It's as if they are trying to communicate with Vicky Pollard.

I bet there's no way on earth they would use 'R U???' On a flyer for a group which wasn't specifically targeted at 'young mums'.
Also AIBU to find the term 'young mums' a little annoying too? Aren't all mums just mums? You wouldn't see a flyer advertising a group for 'old mums' would you? confused

JakeBullet Sun 22-Sep-13 09:27:41

We have local groups who provide these services for free with volunteers. I am part of a service which does this, it is about boosting self esteem and morale and providing some support. The parents who attend often pal up and support one another.

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 09:28:17

LEtranger I think I might email them. And you've described how I feel a lot of the time too about being a 'young mum' And flyers like that don't help. I think they could have definitely gone about it in a less patronising way! grin

BeCool Sun 22-Sep-13 09:30:07

YANBU re the comic sans and abbrs. maybe they are targeting young mn'ers wink.

AidanTheRevengeNinja Sun 22-Sep-13 09:30:24

I am under 31. Can I use the free creche? Please? <wild eyes>

YANBU in that I agree it does sound patronising, but was probably designed with good (if misguided) intentions and is likely a very a valuable service. In your position I'd probably go, see what it was like, get chatting to the organisers and offer to help with design of future leaflets. Chances are they would welcome it.

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 09:36:16

Aiden you're right and I think I will go. I did media studies at college which included a lot of flyer designing and i really enjoyed it so I think I will offer help in designing future ones smile

LEtranger Sun 22-Sep-13 09:47:42

But don't be ashamed Nirvana - there's really nothing to be ashamed about, which I'd realised that a whole it sooner! Just enjoy being a mum - if you're confident and refuse to care about your age, no one else will care either or at least not dare to say anything to your face

LEtranger Sun 22-Sep-13 09:48:24

which wish - seriously bad typos today!

happygirl87 Sun 22-Sep-13 09:48:25

YANBU. I have seen posters like that at my GP surgery and thought the same thing.

Relatedly, not to derail the thread (honest) has anyone read safe sex leaflets for organisations like the Terrance Higgins trust, aimed at young gay men? They always use phrases like "fucking up the arse", which I find very odd, because equivalent adverts aimed at young straight men/women normally say "anal sex", and I can't imagine that this causes too much confusion?! confused

pianodoodle Sun 22-Sep-13 09:51:45

It's funny the way things change though my mum was married and had both me and my sister at the age of 20 and 22 and it wasn't the slightest bit unusual then - most of her friends were the same.

Now my friend is 22 and considered a "young" mum. 30 years ago I'd have been considered an "older" mum at the age of 31 but that's not unusual at all now!

moominleigh94 Sun 22-Sep-13 09:58:06

Very patronising and either someone really can't spell, or they're trying too hard. If I got that flyer through, I don't care how desperate I'll be in 7 months time to meet other young mums, I'd ignore it, or correct the spelling and send it back to them.

Text speak annoys me. Comic Sans annoys me even more. angry

mrspremise Sun 22-Sep-13 10:03:52

Comic sans is the devil's font. It is often accompanied by bad spelling and worse grammar. Add in a soupçon of txt-spk (yuk) and voilà, you have the perfect recipe for everyone vomiting with rage proved that you have no taste grin

Tabby1963 Sun 22-Sep-13 10:16:39

It does look a bit odd to anyone not used to text speak and it might have put me off too.

The fact is that young mums may need extra support and access to advice and friendship, because of a perceived judgement from others, and feelings of isolation.

I would hope that GPs/HVs would already have identified these young women and encouraged them to attend meetings for group support.

creamofparsnip Sun 22-Sep-13 10:28:00

I know two women who became parents at 18/19 and honestly, they are fantastic! It completely removed any stupid prejudices I had about 'young mums'. Wish I could be classed as a young mum! grin

YANBU for it to annoy you but I would go anyway but politely mention it. smile

catgirl1976 Sun 22-Sep-13 10:29:02

Gah thats awful

Agree it will be written by someone older trying to be all hip and down with the kids.

And failing miserably.


AllTwerkNoPlay Sun 22-Sep-13 10:31:09

I had a leaflet. I'm not going (although Im a young mum).

SPsTwerkingNineToFive Sun 22-Sep-13 11:02:42

Nirvana I'm in West Yorks. I managed well without the classes. My son is nearly 4 now so my winging it seems to be working grin

My brother foes text speak and I text him back the same. He seems to just drop vowels.

How are you and toddler? Becomes Hws u n tddlr?

confused I reply W r gd thnk u fr skng

He then has cheek to say he doesn't understand what I am saying grin

MyBoysAreFab Sun 22-Sep-13 11:07:34

God I am old, I had to google what comic sans is! I HATE text speak. It is a constant source of amusement to my ds' that when I text them I spell every word out fully. "mum you are such a noob" grin

SPBisResisting Sun 22-Sep-13 11:07:45

U R not being unreasonable
However I agree with everyone else that this is probably a good thing. Definitely feedback that to you their approach was offputting. However I do feel the majority of text speak is in the u25s
I don't honestly know whether the majority of U25s are into text speak though. I remember my first sight of it when my friend went to university - we didn't have mobiles or email but she used to write me letters in text speak!

SPsTwerkingNineToFive Sun 22-Sep-13 11:09:50

My mum is also attempting text speak but hasn't got the hang of it. It also looks like shes pressed send early

SPBisResisting Sun 22-Sep-13 11:11:44

I regularly get blank texts from my aunt. My mum is slightly better. From her I get "ok". Mind this is a woman who, about 5 years ago, used to dictate her emails to her secretary so it's progress!

SPsTwerkingNineToFive Sun 22-Sep-13 11:13:37

My mum sends Ok texts!

Her idea of text speak is one from today
'I know' which is normally shortened to 'I no'. In my mums world is becomes 'I kn'

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 11:44:29

SP ahh! I'm in North Yorkshire smile LOL at ur broz n mumz txt spk! grin

AllTwerk Are you near me too then I wonder?

SPB my gran regularly sends blank messages to my cousin who's first it her contacts, she doesn't know how to get off the text message page so just sends blank texts. My cousin didn't realise it was her for about 6 months grin

Right, I'm gonna go to this group then and I'll try and jokingly bring up the txt spk rather than complain about it.. DD and I rarely go to groups so will be nice for her to make some more friends (and hopefully they will have coffee there for me) smile

moominleigh94 Sun 22-Sep-13 11:49:47

My nan is fluent in text speak grin she speaks perfectly fine at home, but when she texts it's impossible to understand her, she's worse than my little sister!

FCEK Sun 22-Sep-13 11:52:56

are you in scotland by any chance? I know a local group who do these leaflets!

mrsjay Sun 22-Sep-13 11:56:32

oh god how cringeworthy they are trying to relate to the young, the intentions are good but oh no with the text speak, i was a young mum i was 21 but I am so old there was no text speak in my day grin

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