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To think there's nothing wrong with marrying the only man you've ever had sex with?

(132 Posts)
MoveYourArmsLikeHenry Sat 21-Sep-13 23:16:07

I'm 25 and married and have only ever had sex with my DH. Some of my friends think this is weird and one even remarked that she felt sorry for me as I have not had much "variety" hmm

I didn't think it was sad or weird and im very happy with my DH. Probably just my autism rearing its head but she made a joke about it with another friend in front of me and seemed to brag that she had slept with atleast 10 people and I felt a bit pathetic about only sleeping with one person.

Don't even know why she brought the conversation up but wish she hadnt. I felt embarrassed and our other friend could see how upset I was and said "guess we know who the bike of the group is". This made me laugh.

But really what wrong with only sleeping with one person?

parabelle Mon 23-Sep-13 16:33:10

Wish I had done that. Had many partners and so wish I'd respected myself and waited for the right one.

MulberryHag Mon 23-Sep-13 19:19:39

Same here, got married at 23, I hadn't slept with anyone up until our wedding night. OH is 8 years older than me and he had, regrets it though and wishes he hadn't. At times I may think "what if I had..." (Turned down quite a few guys at uni etc) but when all is said and done, am so pleased he's been my only one. Wouldn't want to have comparisons in my head and thoughts from past boyfriends and encounters.

What if i had AMAZING sex with a guy but we ended up breaking up because the relationship side of things wasn't right. Then I met OH, had an incredible relationship, definitely meant to be together etc, sex was great but not as "mind blowing" as previous partner. Would I spend my entire marriage wishing I had chosen the guy that wasn't right for me but we had fantastic chemistry? Or comparing OH and him? Those kind of thoughts can really hurt a marriage.
But each to their own, we all make our own decisions and no one should judge anyone else regardless of what we have done or believe.

blueshoes Mon 23-Sep-13 21:57:43

Having had more than one, MulberryHag, I don't think it works quite the way you described it. If you had sex with more than one person, you can pretty much tell shit sex from blah sex from good sex. And sexual compatibility is one of the things I look for in a marriage partner. With experience behind me, I would not end up with someone who was not sexually compatible (and that means not just technique but frequency of wanting sex) with me.

As for mindblowing sex, that is nice but to be honest, sex with the same person, however great at the start, will get routine after a while, then it is as good as the effort you are prepared to put in to make it fresh. What you lose in novelty, you gain in learning about each other bodies and likes and dislikes over time. So long as your partner is interested in pleasing you (and that is something you learn to recognise with experience), there is no reason why sex should not be good.

I cannot say I have compared dh's performance with others. He is good but good in his unique way. As for mindblowing sex with another man, I know that is as much the way in which we built up to sex (flirting etc) as the sex itself, which is not a fair comparison as it is situational, not technique per se. I don't have anything to regret really, just some happy memories.

Nubbin Mon 23-Sep-13 22:01:16

Whatever works for others - I have never slept with anyone but my husband he was a bit older and had. We've never worried about being bored 10 years later & children

Lj8893 Mon 23-Sep-13 22:01:56

blueshoes I could not have put it better myself.

EugenesAxe Mon 23-Sep-13 22:09:14

No. I have slept with too many people - kind of Tour de France levels. When I meet people who married their only partner I always think how lovely it must be to have that special bond but I don't dwell on it; I had a good time being me. The point is, there's no right or wrong.

DaleyBump Mon 23-Sep-13 22:32:45

I've slept with one man and we're getting married on the 5th of November. Nothing wrong with it smile

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