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To really think that I only want one child?

(56 Posts)
teacher123 Fri 20-Sep-13 20:08:59

I love DS (17mo) More than words and he is adorable in every way. He was much wanted and longed for and I can honestly say he is the best thing that's ever happened to me. However I also feel a strong sense of horror at the thought of ever having another baby. I just don't want to do it again, I have had anxiety and PND diagnosed but I don't think it's that, I just don't want to. However EVERYONE keeps asking me when we're going to have another one and I feel like a freak. Loads of people say that the only reason they stopped at 2 is because of money/practicalities. I just feel really strongly like I don't want one. Has anyone else felt like this?

Silverdaisy Fri 20-Sep-13 22:21:26

EST, that is so similar to what I was wanting to say. My parent passed away recently and now my other parent is very unwell, I am in my early 30's and am thinking a sibling would have been of help!

Nobody knows what is ahead of them though, and i have been a very happy person with good friends.

I also believe if your circumstances only fits one child then that is your answer.

ChrisTheSheep Fri 20-Sep-13 22:34:33

I know how you feel, OP: I had a similar situation with DS1 (PDN, anxiety, intrusive thoughts of suicide - not good). When friends were having their second babies, I remember having those feelings: terror and horror at the thought of voluntarily putting yourself through that again.

The difference in my situation was that I knew I wanted to have two, in the end. I'm now pregnant with DC2, but to be honest it isn't easy. I spend a lot of time feeling sick at the thought of the next two years, and, really, the only way I convinced myself to do in the first place it was to think of prospective DC at 2.5 years old, and how it would all be better by that point. I have been having some bad times, though, and I honestly wouldn't have considered doing this without actually wanting to. Don't let other people push you into a decision like this: they aren't the ones who are going to have to live with it!

FWIW, I'm an only, and I never, ever resented my parents for not "giving" me a sibling. Barring the perinatal MH issues, I'm really pretty normal, too smile

PosyNarker Fri 20-Sep-13 22:35:54

I hate the stereotype of 'lonely only'. I am very self-sufficient and not overly social admittedly, but very close to my parents, but I don't miss having a sibling even though I know my parents planned more than one, it just didn't happen. DP is also an only and he is very social, more detached from parents (still close but once a week call, not multiple) but also very self sufficient. He doesn't miss non-existent siblings either.

The only possible reasons I could think of having a sibling for myself are selfish & to having seen the dynamic between my parents and their siblings, there's no guarantee that siblings will be close, even if close in age.

MyBaby1day Sun 22-Sep-13 02:38:37

YADNBU, it's entirely your choice OP, I am an only and my Mum also had this and used to say "I got perfection the 1st time"!! grin. I really loved being an only child and also plan to adopt just on child. One is the ideal number for me too, one DS-like you! smile

MyBaby1day Sun 22-Sep-13 02:51:56


missingmumxox Sun 22-Sep-13 04:17:27

You are not wrong, I had My one and only, which where twins, I would have loved another but I couldn't risk more twins, Mine are 1 of 3 sets in my family at the moment.

you may change you mind in the future but hay ho, you are allowed too, singletons are great, trust me they a mum of twins I find the only Mums who want to do play dates with my twins (god I hate that expression) are the mums with one child, I think because they don't have other children to entertain, other than their one, and I am happy to reciprocate as I only have one to entertain on top of my 2.

I don't know many singletons in adult life? but I have a brother and when my Dad was ill and needed care my Brother was in the Army and so it all fell to me, so having a sibling does not stop that.

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