To still be blubbing 7 days post-partum?(29 Posts)
I had a straight-forward birth. My baby has no problems. I have a lovely supportive DH and bfing is a breeze.
I also have a gorgeous 3 yr old who seems to be taking the new baby in his stride.
All good right???
So why, after a week, am I still feeling welling up several times a day and sobbing quietly at least once or twice? The cause of the emotion isn't even to do with the baby, it's my older child. I love him so much and having a newborn again has reminded me that his babyhood is over. It was just him and me day to day for so long and he is such a special boy and the best companion. Along with DH we were a great little team of 3. I hate things changing, have never handled change well. Just want to go back to how it was before...yet I really do adore my new baby too. My older boy, who I was still calling "my baby" until last week just seems so big now and I feel utterly bereft...as though I've lost him. Does that sound crazy? Last night I sat him on my knee and read a load of unsuitable baby books to him just to try to recapture those days. He was a bit . I just feel
Anyone had this?
So why am I crying at everything still, at 7 days? And mostly what I cry at is the conflict I feel over my first child. Having this new baby in my life
Totally normal and I had much the same when dd was born. If took a while to reconnect with ds and so mourning his lost babyhood but we got there. Be gentle on yourself.
Oh it's so so normal. When my waters broke in the middle of the night with dc2, I crawled into bed with 4.4yo dd and wept. And 2 days later when I still hadn't had the baby and I said goodbye to dd to go into hospital for induction or cs, she sat next to me and sang a song she'd made up about how much she loved me and how excited she was about the baby. I think I started crying that day and was still crying 2 weeks later. I felt everything you felt. I was mourning the loss of the marvellous trio we had been, the absolute privilege and joy of being a Mum to just one perfect creature and the fear that I'd ruined it all.
2 years on I have a just turned 2yo and a 6yo. It will always be bittersweet knowing your first child is ploughing ahead, growing up and moving towards independence and having the smaller one around only highlights the bits gone by. But you do move towards cherishing what's gone by instead of mourning it. You see how much your baby enriches the whole family and you delight in it instead of fearing it.
It's early days and you're vulnerable and raw. It'll pass and you'll feel such joy for the children you have and the way they love each other. But right now, you're truly just fragile and a bit shell shocked.
You'll be fine.
Oh and you can still call your eldest your baby. He always will be.
7 days? Good god my baby is 2.5 and I still look at his big sis and could weep sometimes at my theft of her babyhood. Have some cake and share with your big baby boy.
I frogmarched me and DS out of the hospital 12 hrs post partum because I couldn't bear the thought of DD missing mummy for another night. She was 15 mths and was perfectly happy with Granny. I was mad on hormones for at least a month
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