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to call the police when i can hear the the girl upstairs getting abused by her oh

(101 Posts)
rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 10:39:06

I'm sitting here listening to the couple upstairs violently argue. She is screening stop hitting me he is screaming language to horrible to repeaf and their big dog is going nuts.
I've just call the police
Did i do right thing or should i have left well alon

ItsTheOnlyWayToLive Sun 22-Sep-13 15:54:15

You did the right thing, op. If you didn't, the next time could have been much much worse. Well done thanks

WafflyVersatile Sun 22-Sep-13 15:45:27

Call the police even if it is him wanting her to leave and her refusing to move. The police removing her would be best for her even if she doesn't think so.

rosiedays Sun 22-Sep-13 13:21:34

Thanks for your support everyone. It should be an easycall but I not! !! Can't remember the last time I had to dial 999 and not something i do lightly.
It would seem that it's his flat and he wants her to leavebut sshe's refusing to go as she thinks he's seeing someone else. Oh Lord give me strength.
I will keep calling when it's bad as I don't want to listen to it. The language is some of the foulest I've ever heard ( and i have not lived a sheltered life)

MsIngaFewmarbles Sat 21-Sep-13 19:45:38

I would definitely call 999 every time. Poor woman, hopefully in time she will leave him sad

cjel Sat 21-Sep-13 19:42:48

You have done the right thingx

MammaTJ Sat 21-Sep-13 19:39:12

Do ring 999 every single time! She needs you to!

catgirl1976 Sat 21-Sep-13 19:37:45

I think I would call the police again

I am not sure he would be allowed to be back there so quickly after an incident

DH smashed our windows a while ago and I called the police

They didn't arrest him but were adamant that he had to stay somewhere else that night and if he had nowhere else to go it would be the cells

That might not be standard, but it seemed like it was IYSWIM

roughtyping Sat 21-Sep-13 19:15:33

Have just read through this. You've been really patient, just wanted to say well done for helping and please don't give up. It's so frustrating but I think you can't see the wood for the trees when you're in a situation like that.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 21-Sep-13 19:04:54

But no its not a 101 its a 999

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 21-Sep-13 19:03:32

According to WA its 37 assaults before seeking help on on average 7 times leaving.

She does not have to leave he can be made to.

Op call them again the police will not get fed up with you at all it will save money and resources long term.

Police officers and DV agencies LOVE people who report overheard DV it saves lives and work and effort.

TinyCC Sat 21-Sep-13 13:43:33

Even if she doesn't press charges, if there are so many reported incidents in a period of time, she should be referred to MARAC which is a multi-agency group which meets regularly to see what support can be given to individual victims of DV - agencies such as housing, health, social services, specialist DV support, police etc. No one can make her leave but the more support available and people monitoring (eg local housing officers, PCSOs etc) the harder it makes it for him to get away with it.

Ifancyashandy Sat 21-Sep-13 11:46:02

I would call the police non emergency number now. Then if (when) it escalates and you call again, they will already have a log and arrive promptly.

SilverApples Sat 21-Sep-13 11:38:23

Someone will be along with the statistics, but it often seems to take half a dozen or more 'leavings' before a woman will leave an abusive relationship for good.
She has somewhere to go, her sister, at least.

rosiedays Sat 21-Sep-13 11:33:26

There off again. Not as bad yet! !!
It's horrible to listen to. He's telling her to leave but she won't. Go! !
Dh has has enough and just wants to go out. I'm worried about her

LadyHarrietdeSpook Fri 20-Sep-13 22:22:29

Call the police!

Lweji Fri 20-Sep-13 22:03:22

Yes, definitely, they will be fed up with him. Not you.

Do keep calling.

Where I live, DV is considered a "public crime", meaning that a witness can report it and once it is logged in, it can still get to court even if the victim doesn't report it or signs a complaint.
This is because it is so difficult to get the victims to report DV.

HorryIsUpduffed Fri 20-Sep-13 21:53:19

Yes. If she's currently minimising and saying it's "just a fight" then a few visits from the police will emphasise that normal people don't fight like that.

MikeOxard Fri 20-Sep-13 21:44:45

Call again every time. They will get fed up with HIM. But they have to do their job. It sounds like it will take a few timesfor it to sink in with the woman that this is not at all normal or acceptable.

Madmartigan Fri 20-Sep-13 21:41:37

The number of police call outs to the address may be used to make decisions and assessments in future, so definitely worth doing, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. As victims rarely want to proceed it may be the only clue the authorities have that he is terrorising her.

HorryIsUpduffed Fri 20-Sep-13 21:37:47

Definitely call them again. For a start, you said you would and she needs to know that you'll follow through. She might be angry with you today but maybe in a year's time she'll bless your very name.


Ziggyzoom Fri 20-Sep-13 21:22:28

If he is back too - call the police. They probably want to arrest him.

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 21:13:24

She's back already. sad.
So do i call them again next time and every time? Surely the police will get very fed up with me?

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 20-Sep-13 15:54:26

I reported my upstairs neighbour's boyfriend. I never heard any fights again. I really hope he either left or she dumped him.

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 15:52:19

mrsjay he doesn't have the balls to speak to me. . I'd rip him apart without breaking a sweat ( verbaly of course) like all bullies he'll pic there victims carefully. More worried about what he could do while I'm out! !!

mrsjay Fri 20-Sep-13 15:44:20

Rosie make sure your door is locked in case he comes to cause trouble for you, I think she will end up back with him though sadly

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