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To think the school could do more.

(41 Posts)
Daisypod Thu 19-Sep-13 13:24:37

My son has been being bullied at school since starting juniors at the beginning of September. It has been general name calling and swearing and it has upset him greatly. School seemed to be taking this seriously and had put plans in place that I was happy with.
However yesterday it became physical. He told me what had happened when he got home from school and it was in my eyes quite serious. I phoned the school, although I was surprised they hadn't rung me, and they confirmed that the incident had been reported and they had looked into it. However the boys responsible had denied doing it and therefore there was nothing further the school would/could do except keep an eye on DS to make sure it didn't escalate.
AIBU to think that he had been physically hurt (there are marks on his hands) and therefore they should take this more seriously?

Daisypod Thu 19-Sep-13 14:01:11

Obviously I am overreacting to this sad

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 19-Sep-13 14:05:22

Yanbu, it's shit knowing your child is suffering.

Things seem to have got quite bad very quickly if term has only been back a free weeks. What age is junior's? In what way was he physically hurt?

Daisypod Thu 19-Sep-13 14:09:16

He is 7, the other boys are 10 or 11 as yr 6. He was tied to a tree and given a rope burn on his hand sad

KellyElly Thu 19-Sep-13 14:09:38

Of course they should. If your child reports an incident of being physically hurt the absolute minimum the school should do is speak to you as a parent about the incident.

Jinty64 Thu 19-Sep-13 14:12:26

I think that's really shocking. Our school would take that very seriously. Are there supervisors at playtime/lunchtime?

fluffyraggies Thu 19-Sep-13 14:12:31

Good God! Poor DS sad

Of course more should have been done. Of course the boys are going to deny it!

I'd be angry and dissatisfied with this too OP. Who have you spoken to so far? The class teacher? Maybe it's time for an appt. with The Head.

diddl Thu 19-Sep-13 14:13:56

OMG that is horrible!

So there was proof that he was hurt-just not who did it?

Are there no teachers about at break times anymore?

How the fuck does this sort of thing happen?

fluffyraggies Thu 19-Sep-13 14:14:15

I'm really angry on your behalf about the ''they denied it so that's that'' attitude from the school!

diddl Thu 19-Sep-13 14:15:08

The school does sound shit & were did the little gits get the rope from??

noblegiraffe Thu 19-Sep-13 14:16:49

Surely someone else saw that?

Can he give the names of any witnesses to the teacher, so it's not just his word against theirs?

iseenodust Thu 19-Sep-13 14:17:25

Bullies always deny it. So using that as an excuse is rather pathetic of school given your DS is wearing the evidence. Agree appt with head and get a vopy of yhrir anti bullying policy first.

Daisypod Thu 19-Sep-13 14:21:48

Got a copy of anti bullying policy but it all relies on the bully's admitting it! There are a lot of hiding places in the school so even though there are supervisors they cannot see everything.

Fuzzysnout Thu 19-Sep-13 14:23:14

I agree that you need an appointment with the head to sort this for your DS. Children tying each other with ropes indicates a woeful lack of supervision to me. Your DS has suffered physical injury and that cannot be allowed to pass just because the kids deny it. I'm sorry you're going through this. I am in education and never advocate rash complaints - this is a time for the school to step up and stop letting your boy down.

cloutiedumpling Thu 19-Sep-13 14:24:57

I would be furious if that happened to one of my DCs. Could you arrange a meeting with the Head, send an e mail to confirm that you want to discuss the situation with her and cc it to the head of the Board of Governors? I'd put in the e mail that your child had been tied up with a rope by children three or four years his senior.

fluffyraggies Thu 19-Sep-13 14:26:08

I'd love to see the wording of the anti bullying policy OP.

Surely any anti bullying policy that relies on the bullies fessing up is about as good as a chocolate bloody tea-pot!? angry

diddl Thu 19-Sep-13 14:26:33

OK-the bullies denied it.

But the school should be up in arms about the fact that it happened at all.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Thu 19-Sep-13 14:30:00

Tied to a tree and abused? That is horrendous OP and I can only imagine what both you and he are going through.

Two issues here - firstly, the safety of your son - speak to the head and demand action. If nothing is done, consider changing schools. Absolutely unacceptable for them to abdicate their responsibilities.

Secondly - what kind of environment have the bullies grown up in to think this is acceptable? They tied him to a tree??? Dear God. This was a premeditated attack. I'm sorry but the first thing that came to mind when I read this was Jamie Bulger. The boys who have done this are over the age of criminal responsibility. If nothing more is forthcoming from the school, I really would be tempted to involve the police.

Good luck and YANBU! Absolutely not. Your child has the right to go to school and be safe.

Mmmnotsure Thu 19-Sep-13 14:40:11

Daisy - one thing you are not doing is overreacting to this.

Years 3 and 6 'playing' together with no effective supervision raises questions for starters. That is a big difference in age, size, etc.

Take photographs of the injuries, now and over the next couple of days (so you can use the worst ones).

Start a paper trail. Everything in writing. Get your ds to go through what happened and between you write down what he says - when, who, what, how he felt. Start to keep a record of everything he says has happened since the start of term.

Contact the Head in writing to say you want an appointment and why. Follow up the appt again in writing. I don't know who 'the school' is who you have talked to so far. If the Head is no use, then governors, etc. But everything logged and in writing. Look through the anti-bullying policy (which I, too, would love to see, especially the bit about the bullies having to admit it!) and look for the buzz words: safekeeping, loco parentis, right of the child to feel safe, etc, and quote their own words back at them. Good luck.

steppemum Thu 19-Sep-13 15:03:33

''the bullies denied it''

Of course they did. There are more than one of them and only one of your ds, and they are year 6, and he is year 3.

I would be more surprised if they admitted it.

I would say to school, that you was physically hurt, by being tied up against his will. If the perpetrators deny it, then they have 2 issues to deal with, 1. bullying and 2. lying.

Even if they can't establish who did it, then they still need to believe your ds when he says he was tied up against his will.

And definitely keep written records, including an email/letter to head ''further to our meeting yesterday, just confirming that you said x and I said y''

BrianTheMole Thu 19-Sep-13 16:18:09

Thats a big age difference. Your ds knows who did it? Go through the schools complaints procedure and take it further. I might even be tempted to call the police and report it if the school doesn't do something. It is assault after all.

TheUnsinkableTitanic Thu 19-Sep-13 16:22:25

contact the police and have the physical assualt loggedsad

higgle Thu 19-Sep-13 16:28:59

I'd second reporting it to the police. DS1 had his blazer flamed with aerosol + match at his school and they said they couldn't do anything about it as the culprit denied it. When I reminded the head that "arson with intent to endanger life" carried life imprisonment as a possible penalty they soon changed their tune and tackled the issue on the basis of my intention to involve the police. The boy was excluded for quite a long time and subsequently lost all kudos with his peer group.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Thu 19-Sep-13 16:49:31

If someone at work tied me to a tree and then injured me I wouldn't be going to my boss - I would be going to the police.

Does tying to a tree count as false imprisonment, does anyone know?

elinorbellowed Thu 19-Sep-13 16:52:50

Get it in writing, with a copy to the Chair of Governors. Hand deliver it and see the HT at the same time. This is really serious.

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