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WIBU to smother my husband?

(25 Posts)
lurkedtoolong Thu 19-Sep-13 01:44:03

DH has the beginnings of a cold and is driving me mad (and even worse keeping me awake) with his stupid heavy breathing. He's doing this weird half-burp, half-swallow thing every few seconds and it's fucking annoying. He's also sighing loudly as he sleeps.

I'm now downstairs, unable to sleep with a cat who has decided to fight with my glasses. I'm also sneezing like mad.

If I had a jury of MNers I wouldn't get done for smothering the mouth-breathing fucker would I?

brightnearly Thu 19-Sep-13 02:04:26

YABU. And hopefully asleep now!

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 19-Sep-13 02:11:50

Is it like that thing Gordon Brown does? If it is YANBU.

Tellinthetruth Thu 19-Sep-13 03:21:41

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Catsize Thu 19-Sep-13 03:52:37

Probably unreasonable but I am also awake with stinky cold, so may be biased

DorothyBastard Thu 19-Sep-13 03:55:15

YANBU. Put him out of his misery, it's the kindest way.

SoWhatSoWhatSoWhat Thu 19-Sep-13 04:00:26

Get some silicone ear plugs next time you're in Boots. They can be moulded to fit right across/inside your ear, and cut down intrusive noises amazingly. Recommended for all DPs of snoring/burping DHs!

TheFallenNinja Thu 19-Sep-13 04:02:23

B&Q do great deals on shovels and lime. Time for a new patio maybe?

Lora1982 Thu 19-Sep-13 04:22:17

Wow fishwife twats a bit harsh! Op simply yanbu, he's clearly going to develop man flu so in order to erase this disease from the world you have to do your bit.

lurkedtoolong Thu 19-Sep-13 09:19:17

Well, he survived the night but I've got a stinking cold and he's fine. Whether he makes it to the weekend is another matter.

Thanks Tellinthetruth for your support. Actually, I've been looking for a name-change for a while. HarpyFishwifeTwat it shall be.

stinkingbishop Thu 19-Sep-13 09:22:39

I can trump you. DP has a cold/dying of dengue fever, and has been hacking up phlegm and depositing it attractively in tissues by the bed. Until, in his sleep (well, I effin hope so) he rolled over and gobbed on my head instead.

I lay there frozen for several minutes, not quite believing what had just happened.

I did consider scooping it off and wiping it all over his eyeballs.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 19-Sep-13 14:25:00

Please NC to HarpyFishwifeTwat it is awesome.

bishop I have had dengue fever. It is called break bone fever because it feels like your bones are breaking. It doesn't really, it's painful but, meh. I joked that it must be a man that invented that name for it.

Disclaimer: don't actually think men are wimps about sickness..

HarpyFishwifeTwat Thu 19-Sep-13 16:05:42

NC done. Feels very much like me...

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 19-Sep-13 16:49:46

Suits you. Giz a twirl.

FloweryOwl Thu 19-Sep-13 16:54:51

My husband does the half burp half swallow thing every singe night. It sounds like a click or a tut. I could kill him! I have to tell him about a million times a night to close his mouth because I can't sleep through it. I'm one click away from separate bedrooms.

HarpyFishwifeTwat Thu 19-Sep-13 17:17:42

Swishes around showing off new name

FloweryOwl Every night? You must be a saint not to have killed him yet.

Chotter Thu 19-Sep-13 21:19:41

I know this is supposed to be a bit of a light-hearted thread, but some of us in another MN forum have been looking at a few of the AIBU threads recently, and there are some that make people feel uncomfortable.

Specifically, there are those that directly reference domestic violence, both in the thread title and in the body of discussion. Without trying to bring the mood down too much, does anyone think that treating DV in such a light-hearted and flippant manner actually adds to it's acceptance within society as just one of those things? Does anyone think that MN boards, with their predominantly women audience, have a bit of a social duty to try to bring about a sea-change in attitudes towards DV? Or do you think that women, as the oppressed group in society, have a bit more leeway with jokey stuff like this?

Sorry if I am bringing the mood down, but I'd like to hear some honest views. Thanks.

HarpyFishwifeTwat Thu 19-Sep-13 22:13:23

Chotter I think there is an issue around the normalisation of domestic violence but I also think as with a lot of discussions we have to be careful not to become so worried about causing offence that we don't discuss anything in a light-hearted way.

I think as with anything the context is the most important thing. As with the Terry's Chocolate Orange thread this is obviously a lighthearted one and if my DH posted something along the lines of Harpy won't stop sniffing, can I chop off her nose then I would also assume that was lighthearted.

What isn't acceptable is double-standards eg to be appalled at domestic violence against women but somehow think that if it's a man being targeted then it's funny or less serious. Normalisation of domestic violence isn't caused by people on a forum blowing off a little bit of steam but by actual instances of it being underplayed. Why is Radio 1 still playing Chris Brown records? Why is Sean Penn revered in Hollywood when he battered Madonna with a baseball bat?

It's a difficult subject and I too am interested in what people have to say.

liquidstate Thu 19-Sep-13 23:29:14

Mine squeaks, moans, snorts, makes strange clicky noises and talks about custard. hmm

I feel your pain.

McNewPants2013 Thu 19-Sep-13 23:41:28

I like the NC.

I hate it when DH is ill, you have my sympathies.

TheFallenNinja Fri 20-Sep-13 04:53:14


Whilst your concerns are relevant there is a huge difference between the reality of real actual violence in any form and gallows humour.

I don't think that it's anyone's place to wander around forums attempting to police threads or put others on a downer.

Threads like this neither contribute to, promote or execute violence against anyone, perversely, threads like this can be a way of venting feelings.

Suppression of discussion is censorship and it's not on.

kali110 Fri 20-Sep-13 06:09:32

Its a light hearted thread, she isnt really going to do it.

MrsMook Fri 20-Sep-13 06:47:38

we hope... grin

Mine's calming down now. He kept himself just under the "poke to resest" threshold. Now making little hissy noises. It'll be a combination of exhaustion and a slight cold.

Sleep apnea would be a more relevant issue of concern for pooping the thread.

kali110 Fri 20-Sep-13 09:21:44

Well mine kept farting, getting to the stage where i was going to find a cork

Chotter Fri 20-Sep-13 09:36:47

Ninja - and others - I owe you an explanation.

I was on the FWR board yesterday. There is a thread about a woman being offended because a man told two 'dumb blonde' on one mother-in-law joke to two of his friends. The offended women felt uncomfortable, and the thread expanded to a discussion whereby men use their privilege to tell cruel jokes to keep women subjugated. So one poster piped up that there were women on here light-heartedly discussing killing spouses. He asked if said women were offended by that? Someone replied that 'if you are so concerned, why don't you pipe up?'

So I did, and now I have probably spoiled what was a perfectly innocent chat between people with little thought of homicide. I apologise.

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