Advanced search

Seriously, finding things out through FB?

(63 Posts)

Brother is at the hospital after been attacked by someone his room mate knows and I only found out because my brothers friend has taken him and commented on FB about it?!

Its not like my brother doesn't have a phone so he could phone us. His mate we have know n years too.

It was also FB where I found out a relative had died and then when the funeral was. Why cant people just pick up a phone?!

MoonlightandRoses Thu 19-Sep-13 22:03:05

YANBU - and don't see why 'thoughtless' counts as an excusable reason either. Admittedly it's a better 'motive' than spite, but still.

Perhaps a posting for 'God and the world' to see is more efficient than individual contacts, but it feels impersonal & gossipy - more a "look at the drama" than anything else. Efficiency is what one should strive for in business, not personal, networks.

Glad he's going to be ok and hope they catch the people who did it.

Dorris83 Thu 19-Sep-13 21:08:09

SIL announced the birth if my DS before we'd even told all of my family... I had literally given birth less than an hour before and MIL had excitedly text all of her closest family members.
I was amazed that she'd done it and set MIL on her grin

It came down within 5 minutes, I don't think anyone important saw it

It is mostly thoughtless action though, rather than spite. She was just excited

hotritenow Thu 19-Sep-13 17:59:30

We found out my husbands nephew died on FB..and it was our daughter who was in another country who told us....none of my husbands sisters or brother bothered to pick up the phone and tell us....

Love cockwomble grin

PrincessKitKat Thu 19-Sep-13 17:30:43

I was just being a cockwomble SP.

I was trying failing to show that I personally felt using the parameters of a phone bundle as your reason for passing on personal news through FB, rather than calling or texting family was a fairly upsetting sign of the times. And not one that I want to 'move with' thanks.

But yes, 1Gb is a lot! I could pass on infinite deaths, births and serious injury posts should the need arise smile

Glad your brother is ok.

Isn't 1GB alot? I have 500mb which I think is half of 1GB? I actually have no clue

PrincessKitKat Thu 19-Sep-13 16:52:42

Ah, now I have unlimited free texts and only a 1Gb data bundle, which is why I would take the time to personally let people I care about know their close relative was hurt, in trouble or had died.

Whether being U or NU in this situation is clearly dependent on your price plan.


SarahBumBarer Thu 19-Sep-13 14:42:27

Yanbu in this specific situation but lots of other posters BU. FB is just how things are done now. Move with the times.

With minor exceptions I'd rather post something on FB (free within my mobile phone dataplan) than text loads of people having to reply individually to them with the same old bloody queries etc. Much easier on FB where everyone can see each others questions/responses etc.

VanitasVanitatum Thu 19-Sep-13 13:42:45

Know how you feel SP, Facebook is a really impersonal way to find out things like that. Hope the situation gets sorted ASAP

Phone site is doing the long please wait thing then posting it more than once!

Gin No rage, he wants me to go with him to get his stuff out. Hes gone to the police as I suggested.

Hes only 14 month younger than me and about 1 foot and half taller yet he knows he needs me when shit is going down grin

I'm normally first person he is in touch with when he has a hospital trip.

The relative dying I know that family did it out of spite. I'm no longer counted as part of that family as mum and dad divorced.

Gin No rage, he wants me to go with him to get his stuff out. Hes gone to the police as I suggested.

Hes only 14 month younger than me and about 1 foot and half taller yet he knows he needs me when shit is going down grin

I'm normally first person he is in touch with when he has a hospital trip.

The relative dying I know that family did it out of spite. I'm no longer counted as part of that family as mum and dad divorced.

cogitosum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:51:03

When my ds was born dh's niece posted it on fb before I'd had a chance to tell everyone (or post anything myself). It was quite sweet she was so excited but I wasn't pleased as I would've rather told people or announced it myself.


Dobbiesmum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:46:15

Nope, he didn't have a clue she was filing for divorce until he got a message from a friend who saw it on FB! Poor sod was gutted. She lost an awful lot of friends that day.

Ginformation Thu 19-Sep-13 10:43:31

My parents and I found out my brother was missing presumed dead via ceefax. Our elderly next door neighbour phoned to ask what was going on as The Sun had contacted her for a reaction. We didn't have a clue, no one had contacted us.

I get your rage SP. Just wait til he is home before opening a can of whoopass on him grin

Dobbies Her husband didn't know about the divorce?! shock

Brothers fine, just bruising. He stayed at his friends. I'm meeting him today and I'm off to get some of the expensive stuff out of his house.

BrandybuckCurdlesnoot Thu 19-Sep-13 10:32:43

Glad your brother is ok OP

BrandybuckCurdlesnoot Thu 19-Sep-13 10:31:14

YANBU. This annoys me too and I know it annoys a lot of family and friends. This is why I always make the effort to ensure close family and friends are informed directly before anything is posted on FB.

Dobbiesmum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:26:16

It's thoughtless in a lot of cases. Plus the fact that it's habit to many people now to get their phones out and check in to FB or Twitter, especially if they're waiting around for something or someone. i bet that's what your brother's mate was doing SP, mooching around on his phone waiting for your DB to get sorted out..
as an aside, I do know someone who announced her divorce on FB and changed her relationship status. Problem was that her DH didn't't know either, he was as shocked as everyone else....

cantthinkofagoodone Thu 19-Sep-13 10:19:07

My sister and her dh are fb and twitter addicts. I found out that she was engaged and that my neice's name from fb. She called to say she was pregnant though but only found out from Mum about the baby.

There was a dramatic pregnancy but she would always check in at hospital whenever she had to go in for a bleed or reduced movement but I did call and tell her that her family shouldn't be seeing this on fb, if it really is serious we should get a phonecall. Baby was fine in the end though!

GrendelsMum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:11:36

I think your DBs friend was probably very shocked and upset, and didn't sit down with your DB to ask about the phone numbers of relatives he should get in contact with. From my own experience, when a couple of friends were attacked, phoning their family did not even occur to me at any point.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 19-Sep-13 10:06:29

i totally agree

of course close family should have known before it was put on fb why would anyone disagree with this

unless that was the only way to contact people which was not the case

people like to gossips and use fb to be busy bodies some information does not need to be known be everyone and it is important the certain people are informed before others

ConfusedPixie Thu 19-Sep-13 10:01:44


I'm not close to my sisters but my family still had the decency to at least text before I found out via FB about their accidents over the past few years! Well, Mum called me in a panic telling me that my sister had been hit by a truck the first time and the second I had a text from my sister who had crashed her car warning me that it was on FB but she was okay.

How difficult is it to just phone to let siblings/parents know before telling 'the wider world'?!

PrincessKitKat Thu 19-Sep-13 09:24:40

I found out about my Nan's death on FB. It totally knocked the wind out of me.

I understand the hierarchy (if it had been one of my uncles/aunts, fair enough) and I also understand it's some peoples way of dealing with grief, letting people know funeral arrangements etc. but this person must have literally put down the phone, and got on FB to 'share'. Give it a couple of hours, FGS.

To me it was totally inappropriate. Sharing news of her death so quickly amongst the check ins at Frankie and Bennys & photos of babies and cats showed no respect for my nan or other family and it felt like it had been done for all the 'aw hunz, u ok babez?' drivel from strangers hmm

DameDeepRedBetty Thu 19-Sep-13 09:17:51

We announced dbro's death on FB, but only after contacting everyone as far as first cousins. It was the only way to be certain that as many of his old friends who he'd lost contact with as his alcoholism became more and more of a problem would get to hear about it and be able to attend the funeral. I was terrified that there'd be no-one there but immediate family which would have been devastating for our mum. As it was lots of his old friends did make it and although it was heartbreaking to be reminded of the person he'd once been, it was also lovely.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now