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To think that if you keep your house at 16 degrees..

(105 Posts)
PosyNarker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:29:57

You ought to tell your guests prior to a 'black tie dinner party'?

Somewhat inspired by a Good Housekeeping thread. I get that people are really struggling, but interested in the MN view because I'm visiting this friend shortly and he's now a lot better off!

I was invited to a dinner party by a good friend who is relatively, if not indecently well off (est £40k pa). He's was at the time single man in a rented flat.

Anyway, he invited a group of us round for aforementioned dinner party and given our social group it was all a bit tongue in cheek but people did dress up. He served goose (ffs), home made pate and a selection of wines. We also took some fairly decent wine given we knew what he was planning.

All very lovely except...he doesn't believe in spending money on heating. It didn't occur to me that he wouldn't turn it on, especially as he knows I'm a bit of a hot house plant, so I duly turned up in the LBD and sat in my coat all night.

AIBU to think that if you invite others over and keep your house at a radically different temp from 20-22 degrees, you ought to warn them in advance? Or not specify black tie?

I am going to visit him soon and wonder if I ought to be asking about the central heating before I go!? He's not particularly an environmentalist (although that's part of it), but he genuinely doesn't feel the cold the way I do (shorts for casual unless snowing, that type of thing).

Yika Wed 18-Sep-13 21:32:17

OP, YANBU. I also recently went to a dinner party where the house was freezing and it's really my only memory of the evening - I didn't enjoy it at all. I was tired after a day at work and wanted to relax and feel cosy but I just couldn't get comfortable sitting making small talk in such a cold environment.

But then again, hardy types have been known to complain about the tropical heat in my place (ancient heating system that cranks out full blast all winter).

Xmasbaby11 Wed 18-Sep-13 21:32:43

16-20 is normal. Anything over that is hot, for me at least.

I work with international students who are mostly from hotter climates and they turn up the heating in the classroom to 24 deg. This is uncomfortably hot for me, even wearing a short sleeved shirt. However, any lower than that, and my students put on their duffle coats! So it does depend what you're used to.

Having said that, he should pay attention to the comfort of his guests and turn the heating up if they are not comfortable.

Xmasbaby11 Wed 18-Sep-13 21:33:54

I would ask about it in a jokey way and bring lots of layers. Make it clear you find it cold and give him the chance to turn on the heating.

StuntGirl Wed 18-Sep-13 21:34:39

Are you always this precious about how other people run their homes?

StuntGirl Wed 18-Sep-13 21:40:56

If you are too hot at 21/22 degres how on earth do you cope in the summer when it is 22 or more on most days? Weird!

I don't sad I spend all day sweating terribly, I go bright red and blotchy and have awful, itchy, painful heat rash EVERYWHERE. I come home and have a cold shower and wear as little as possible. I eat cold foods like salads which don't require the oven on and sleep on top of the covers at night.

If I could not be this way, believe me I would. Cannot help how god made you sad

sonlypuppyfat Wed 18-Sep-13 21:41:54

If he feels perfectly comfortable at a lower temperature it wouldn't occur to him to turn it up. If you are cold now what are you going to do in the winter

Crikeyblimey Wed 18-Sep-13 21:43:47

Just to add my twopenneth - our heating comes on if the sitting room is less than 21 degrees. This is comfortable for sitting around for me. I notice if it goes below 20 (after the heating has gone off at 10pm) and I'm still up. The radiators in the rest of the house are set lower so everywhere else (especially bedrooms) are considerably cooler.

I don't like to be cold and find 21 is comfortable.

I'd be inclined to dress appropriately for a cooler room as I hate being uncomfortably cold (I'd much rather be too hot if I had to be).

sonlypuppyfat Wed 18-Sep-13 21:43:53

Stuntgirl I am just like you I've never felt as ill as I have this summer

Teeb Wed 18-Sep-13 21:45:58

I'm with you stuntgirl, I've found this summer really uncomfortable in parts. I also think though there's something really stuffy, and claggy about heating, would much prefer to be warm through layers and socks. On a different note, car heaters are the devils work!

valiumredhead Wed 18-Sep-13 21:46:06

Stunt, I'm the same. Hate the heat.

valiumredhead Wed 18-Sep-13 21:50:30

I love a house heated by a wood burner or open fire, but ch is stuffy and makes me feel quite ill.

samuraispider Wed 18-Sep-13 21:50:55

Jeez! I'd suffocate if the house was 20 to 22. Ours is set at 18.

Have you considered not going? It would probably do him a favour.

Mintyy Wed 18-Sep-13 21:53:17

Yanbu. You are not a good host if you don't make your guests feel comfortable. 16 degrees is very low by most people's standards.

valiumredhead Wed 18-Sep-13 21:57:00

OP if he's well known for having a cool house what made you think he'd turn the heat up?grin

pigsDOfly Wed 18-Sep-13 21:57:16

I think there must be something wrong with me. If I'm sitting in the evening I can't have the temperature less than 22 or I'm shivering and then I've often got two jumpers on and socks or slippers.

My central heating instruction booklet advises a comfortable temperature to be 21.5.

My thermostat is set at 16 overnight because at that temperature my central heating will not come on (also instruction booklet guidelines).

charleybarley Wed 18-Sep-13 22:26:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Wed 18-Sep-13 22:31:32

I have to turn my heating off at night, or down to 5, or it clicks on and wakes me up.

gallicgirl Wed 18-Sep-13 22:36:32

16 is cold and if a work place drops below 16 degrees staff should be sent home. As I recall 18 is recommended for babies rooms, not 16.
I reckon 18-21 is a fairly typical range for homes.

However a good considerate host should make guests feel comfortable and that means turning up heating. One night isn't too much to have a warmer house and I'd be mortified of a guest was so cold they had to wear a coat so yanbu.

Notcontent Wed 18-Sep-13 23:19:03

16 is cold. It may be fine if you are running around doing housework,etc but not if you are sitting down.
For me 21 is perfect. At night I turn our heating right down - hate sleeping in a warm room unless unwell. But I do have a very warm duvet!!!

FitzgeraldProtagonist Wed 18-Sep-13 23:35:51

Heating? Now? NO WAY! Miserly...

whois Wed 18-Sep-13 23:36:02

If you are having people round, especially to an event where they will be wearing short dresses and have bare arms then turn up the heating!

I would find 16 too cold to sit around in a party dress.

whois Wed 18-Sep-13 23:39:27

I am happy to ask hosts for jumpers/blankets/socks tho if in cold, and I get cold if we are just sitting still on the sofa.

DaleyBump Wed 18-Sep-13 23:45:06

Our flat gets to minus degrees in winter because we would rather eat than freeze. 16 degrees would be like summer here.

Charlottehere Wed 18-Sep-13 23:45:50

Oh the dilemma! Really?

DaleyBump Wed 18-Sep-13 23:45:55

But yes, he should have put it on for others. Especially after seeing you sitting in your jacket all night.

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