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To think that if you keep your house at 16 degrees..

(105 Posts)
PosyNarker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:29:57

You ought to tell your guests prior to a 'black tie dinner party'?

Somewhat inspired by a Good Housekeeping thread. I get that people are really struggling, but interested in the MN view because I'm visiting this friend shortly and he's now a lot better off!

I was invited to a dinner party by a good friend who is relatively, if not indecently well off (est £40k pa). He's was at the time single man in a rented flat.

Anyway, he invited a group of us round for aforementioned dinner party and given our social group it was all a bit tongue in cheek but people did dress up. He served goose (ffs), home made pate and a selection of wines. We also took some fairly decent wine given we knew what he was planning.

All very lovely except...he doesn't believe in spending money on heating. It didn't occur to me that he wouldn't turn it on, especially as he knows I'm a bit of a hot house plant, so I duly turned up in the LBD and sat in my coat all night.

AIBU to think that if you invite others over and keep your house at a radically different temp from 20-22 degrees, you ought to warn them in advance? Or not specify black tie?

I am going to visit him soon and wonder if I ought to be asking about the central heating before I go!? He's not particularly an environmentalist (although that's part of it), but he genuinely doesn't feel the cold the way I do (shorts for casual unless snowing, that type of thing).

AnyFucker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:32:18

Just put a jumper and trackies on

Why are you socialising with him though, you don't seek to like him very much

It sounds like a particularly dire episode of Come Dine With Me, tbh

purplewoofer Wed 18-Sep-13 20:33:26

I would be happy if our house was that warm in the winter. But we can't really afford to heat it - house is old and draughty. However people who come round are aware and we never specify a dress code and have lots of blankets!

Spatsky Wed 18-Sep-13 20:34:19

Did you ask him he would mind turning the heating up as you were dry cold? Wouldn't need to ask but so e people do need prompting.

A an aside, I'm not sure 40k is indecently well off personally.

Spatsky Wed 18-Sep-13 20:35:18

Very cold, not dry cold

PhallicGiraffe Wed 18-Sep-13 20:35:41

Did you ask him to put the heating on? Men's core temperature is a lot higher than a women's, he probably felt perfectly warm and didn't realise you we're cold.

carabos Wed 18-Sep-13 20:36:05

We were friends with a wealthy couple who kept a freezing house. Not only that but they entertained a lot and always in the conservatory, which was huge, Victorian and Arctic.

Their bedroom was like an oven however and Mrs used to spend most of her evenings in it grin.

We aren't friends with them now.

KneesoftheBee Wed 18-Sep-13 20:36:41

I would wear warm clothes and take mulled wine.

thehorsedentist Wed 18-Sep-13 20:36:51

16 degrees is not cold!
It has to be in the minus figures before I wil loosen my purse strings and turn the heating on.

I almost passed out in a friends house the other day as they had their heating on and set to 23 degrees.

PosyNarker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:37:06

i actually really do - he's my best friend. For all kinds of reasons though, I've visited his parents house and he spent a hell of a lot of time are ours, but never really spent much time at his. The main reason was he was renting a room and we had a house (although he's actually older).

It was a bit like that and I really felt for him, but he genuinely doesn't get that most people won't sit and eat a meal in short sleeves at 16 degrees! He thinks I'm a bit precious and that my house is much too warm.

(To be fair now he's moved away - thus my point about seeing him soon - when he comes we make sure there's a topsheet so he can throw off the duvet, open the bedroom window and turn off the radiator in the spare room). We keep our house at 22 BTW - nothing mental!

Jan49 Wed 18-Sep-13 20:38:16

But 16C is fine. 20-22C is overheated. I think 21C is the recommended temperature for elderly and sick people.

If you're going soon and it's the UK, it probably won't be very cold. Just take a jumper or whatever since you feel the cold.

PosyNarker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:39:34

Phallic I did and he did, but it was still bloody cold!

Spatsky I didn't say he was indecently well off. I say, well off, but not indecently. At the time I actually earned a shedload more than he did (and yes, was well off, but still no indecently grin ).

decaffwithcream Wed 18-Sep-13 20:39:40

Bring a hot water bottle next time, all done up in a LBD cover.

MildDrPepperAddiction Wed 18-Sep-13 20:40:43

It's his home so he can have it however hot or cold as he likes. For what it's worth I'd find 22 degrees in the house too stuffy. Our house is usually 18-20 degrees.

Bring a cosy jumper and thick socks!

Teeb Wed 18-Sep-13 20:42:46

Agree with others, I wouldn't find 22 pleasant really, not unless it was the real depths of winter and I could have the windows open at the same time. What that shows you is that the temperature of someones home is personal to what they themselves find comfortable, so yabu

BrokenSunglasses Wed 18-Sep-13 20:42:54

I would freeze at that temperature, but that's the kind of temperature my closest friend has at her house too. I do not go to her house without a thick pair of socks and a hoodie.

Some people just don't feel cold unless its the middle of winter and the temperature well into single figures.

I'd want a friend to tell me, but I don't think any of my male friends would think to. It simply wouldn't occur to them. My house is usually warmer than most people's and it has been commented on, but it's never occurred to me to warn people.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 18-Sep-13 20:44:00

He probably thought it'd get uncomfortably warm with extra bodies.

Do you not take an extra layer when you wear something 'skimpy' just in case? I always do.

In future just make sure you've got a vest on!

PosyNarker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:44:11

Mild I could live with your 18 degrees, I really could. But he keeps his at 16 (and tbh won't shove the heating up outwith that unless you really whine). I genuinely think he feels the cold differently from me, because as I say, it's not austerity, it's not environmentalism and he struggles with our house if I leave the heating on (even though the 22 degrees is for the lounge, not the bedrooms).

I guess I just stock up on sweaters before our visit. Fair play though, I expect him not to complain that we should open all the doors ar 20 degrees!

pianodoodle Wed 18-Sep-13 20:46:06

If you're used to 20-22 degrees 16 will feel cold.

We're at 16 in this room now and it feels slightly chilly but I think we need another week to acclimatise to the cooler weather before I consider turning it up smile

VerySmallSqueak Wed 18-Sep-13 20:46:30

I don't really know what black tie entails tbh,but surely it wouldn't be offensive to fut a smart layer on rather than sitting there with blue lips and shivering?

(Even if it was offensive,I know it's what I'd do!)

PrincessFlirtyPants Wed 18-Sep-13 20:46:52

I don't think you'd like my house. I turn the heating on a few times a year just to male sure it still works! My DH has the windows open even when it's snowing. I used to have the heating on all the time.

Bring a pashmina/cardigan to wear if it gets cold.

PrincessFlirtyPants Wed 18-Sep-13 20:47:28



PosyNarker Wed 18-Sep-13 20:47:45

Broken I think that's a really good point. People obviously get used to their 'usual' but it actually wouldn't occur to me to tell someone in December that they ought to dress for 'indoors' - maybe it's because I work in an office? (generally warm, although a few days ago was an exception but that's by the by).

trinity0097 Wed 18-Sep-13 20:47:58

I think if entertaining you should have a warm house. If you can afford to entertain then you can afford the small amount to have the heating on for a few hours!

pianodoodle Wed 18-Sep-13 20:48:19

22 seems very decadent!

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