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to be really upset about this introduction and not go back?

(103 Posts)
WestieMamma Mon 16-Sep-13 23:55:56

I have AS and a 5 month old baby. Because of the AS I am very isolated. My health visitor referred me to the council's family support unit (a bit like Sure Start but part of social services) and a lady comes round from there every couple of weeks to chat and help me with stuff. Because of the isolation my occupational therapist suggested I go to the local mum and baby group. I can't do it on my own so the support worker said she would go with me. We went today.

She said it was a drop in group so we arrived part way through. Everyone was sat on the floor in a circle together. Then she said something along the lines of 'This is Westie, she would like to join the group. I'm M and I work for social services supporting families in need. Westie has AS so doesn't get out much and doesn't know anyone and we think this would be really good for her and her baby'. She said this to the entire room. A room full of complete strangers.

I sat down and waited for the ground to open up and swallow me. Thankfully my baby fell asleep after about 15 minutes and I used this as an excuse to escape.

WorraLiberty Tue 17-Sep-13 00:00:12

Oh my good God. You are so NBU shock sad

pigletmania Tue 17-Sep-13 00:01:45

Westie she was very unprofessional, she gave too much personal information to people you don't know. A simple this s Westie would have done if you were not up to introducing yoursef. Mabey have word with her superior

expatinscotland Tue 17-Sep-13 00:02:26

I would complain about that, too.

BopsX3 Tue 17-Sep-13 00:03:16

Omg, i feel for you, Id have been mortified! YANBU

I had social services involvement once and they never introduced me like that, nor did they ever mention they were from social services (unless it was the HV etc or Id asked them to)

Thats a bit too much personal info to give to a room full of strangers, especially as it wasnt you that gave them that info about yourself

pigletmania Tue 17-Sep-13 00:04:50

She sounded very Patronising

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Tue 17-Sep-13 00:06:55

Oh lord. How awful for you sad

Whatever possessed her to do such an awful, clumsy, disrespectful and untoward thing? How could she possibly have seen that as a positive step forwards into the group? Why did she think it was ok to breach your privacy and give away highly sensitive, highly personal information? How bloody dare she?????

Would you feel able to complain? That was not in the slightest bit appropriate. Who was she? Do you know if she was in the slightest bit qualified in social work or anything of that kind?

I am angry for you, and upset as well. She just blundered in and made it loads harder for you.

Birdsgottafly Tue 17-Sep-13 00:08:47

She has seriously broke confidentiality, not only to you but to your child, as well.

We had a case were a escort introduced themselves as being from " SS" when collecting a fostered child, within hearing distance from other parents, they were disciplined for it.

I would complain.

AnyFucker Tue 17-Sep-13 00:09:16

OMFG,, that is awful.

peachmint Tue 17-Sep-13 00:10:30

YANBU. That's awful!

Gossipmonster Tue 17-Sep-13 00:11:31

Jeez poor you - you have AS, you're not a loon/idiot sad

KatoPotato Tue 17-Sep-13 00:12:17

You must report this dreadful woman.

Any decent person would be mortified on your behalf you should try and return sometime, it could be a sort of icebreaker? If I was there and you were introduced like this I would make a point of trying to catch you at some point and say 'good grief that woman is some piece of work!'


trolleycoin Tue 17-Sep-13 00:13:21

Yanbu. Not nice to be spoken about like that. Imho she should have agreed an introduction with you before hand. I am very sorry that it didn't turn out so good for you. Especially when it must have taken a lot of guts to go. [Brew]

WestieMamma Tue 17-Sep-13 00:14:07

All I know is that she is employed by the council in the family support unit. I don't think she is actually a social worker as such, but I can't say for sure. I've only ever had contact with her, she came to my house with my health visitor one time and makes arrangements for the next visit while she's here. I don't even know where she is based, the council have various sites and offices around town.

At least now I know it's not just me reacting weirdly to an unfamiliar situation. That helps.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 17-Sep-13 00:15:07

Bloody hell.

That's a disciplinary and potential dismissal waiting to happen,no way should she have said any of that at all other than your name.

pigletmania Tue 17-Sep-13 00:16:31

I would find out from HV where she is based and who her line manager is, or telephone ss

mumblecrumble Tue 17-Sep-13 00:17:24

un bloody beleivable. Complain.

Also - what is AS? as in aspergers?

I would be profoundly mortified, so sorry this has happened. What a shocker. Def not your weird reaction!

trolleycoin Tue 17-Sep-13 00:18:29

By that I mean you both should have agreed how you would both be introduced to the group ie she could have just said "hi Im westies friend. Im just here to help westie so she can have a cup of tea and chat to some other mums"

zzzzz Tue 17-Sep-13 00:20:22

No you are NOT reacting weirdly. I would have been mortified and very angry. I find email very helpful for complaining. Email asking for their complaints procedure. Come over to the sn board and we will help you if you need support complaining.

WestieMamma Tue 17-Sep-13 00:20:51

Yes AS is Aspergers. So I find social situations extremely difficult at the best of times. I wanted to make this group work for my baby's benefit. I could quite happily stay at home and never speak to another living soul again, it's pretty much what I do anyway, but I want him to have the chance of normal interactions.

BrianTheMole Tue 17-Sep-13 00:21:31

Fuck. What a twat. I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. YANBU. Please complain about her. How dare she do that! <angry on your behalf>

lionheart Tue 17-Sep-13 00:22:13

That is truly awful. I hope you can still find the support and company you need despite this.

LittleBearPad Tue 17-Sep-13 00:22:49

What a stupid woman!! I'm livid for you.

cafecito Tue 17-Sep-13 00:24:31

complain, that's not on. I think you should go back to the group though, unless there's another nearby. That said I never went to mum and baby groups I couldn't stand them, I tried a few times and failed abominably I couldn't wait to leave. I think go back once, hold your head high, say hi to a few people and see how you feel then. You don't have to go back but it might be better in the long run if you do. Any chance you can go just you and your baby?

cafecito Tue 17-Sep-13 00:28:32

the more I think about it the more angry I am on your behalf. That is so beyond the scope I have no words - you are attending just as any mum attends - how dare she do that? I really think you need to complain. are you able to go to things on your own ever? sometimes it's possible to just pop into things like music groups or a story time in a library, you don't have to say anything to anyone and when it's activity filled it takes away a lot of the space and interaction time, so I find it easier

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