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To think, for whatever reason, she's lying?

(30 Posts)
JuanPotatoTwo Mon 16-Sep-13 16:23:59

About ten years ago friend A introduced me to friend B. Friend B and I became quite close as we had dd's of the same age. When I say "close" I mean going to each other's houses, going out for coffee/shopping, having each other's dc to play and stay, going to dinner parties at each other's houses etc.

About four years into our friendship, I became unexpectedly pregnant with ds3 and friend B, on hearing the news, said "you're mad, you'll have no friends". And from that day on she started acting strangely towards me, culminating in an episode, after ds3 had been born, when her dh invited us round and she declined to sit with us for the first hour, preferring to do her housework. When she did join us, she wouldn't look me in the eye. To this day, I genuinely didn't know what I'd done to upset her and make her act like that.

Anyway, she moved shortly after, about ten miles away and I haven't seen her since. About three weeks ago, friend A (who'd introduced us initially) coincidentally bumped into friend B and they arranged to meet for coffee, which they duly did. When they were having coffee, B asked A who she still was in touch with, and A mentioned my name. B claimed to have no recognition of me at all.

Can that truly be the case? Or is she fibbing? If so, why? It's of no import really as there is no likelihood of our friendship starting up, but I just wonder what her reasoning is?

piratecat Mon 16-Sep-13 16:26:39

i would have said to friend a, 'what?, she didn't remember who i was, really?'

did you say anything like that

CailinDana Mon 16-Sep-13 16:26:52

Perhaps she wanted another baby and was jealous?

Cheryzan Mon 16-Sep-13 16:26:52

Maybe she'd been TTC for ages and was jealous of you?

Or wanted another baby but decided not to have one (ie couldn't afford it or something) and was jealous of you?

She may have talked herself out of another baby she wanted and you having one showed her that her justification was wrong which made her flip?

Cheryzan Mon 16-Sep-13 16:26:56

Maybe she'd been TTC for ages and was jealous of you?

Or wanted another baby but decided not to have one (ie couldn't afford it or something) and was jealous of you?

She may have talked herself out of another baby she wanted and you having one showed her that her justification was wrong which made her flip?

Beamur Mon 16-Sep-13 16:27:42

How very odd.
I wonder if maybe she wanted another child herself and couldn't handle be around you once you had DC3.

steppedonlego Mon 16-Sep-13 16:27:57

YANBU to think that she's lying, but YABU to try to figure out her reasoning, it'll just drive you mad. Accept that she's a strange one and move on.

Nanny0gg Mon 16-Sep-13 16:28:08

Well, as A introduced the two of you, didn't she point that out?

MimiSunshine Mon 16-Sep-13 16:30:24

Jealousy? Did she want another DC?

I once had a friend (A) deny all knowledge of another friend (B) we'd both been close to after B got a better qualification grade than A, and was then bitchy about where Bs qualification was gained. Must have made her feel better about herself. I cut her off after that.

QueenOfToast Mon 16-Sep-13 16:32:01

Trying to be nice about her ... it sounds like it was quite a long time ago (6 years?) and that you all had small children at the time.

I definitely did some thoughtless, stupid and brainless things when my children were small (and I was sleep deprived). Hoovering when I had visitors is likely to be one of them confused. Could she be in this category?

Also, there is a very good chance that I would be unable to remember the name of a mummy-type friend from 6 years ago, but if you told me the name of their child I would be able to link everything up. Is that her?

Being mean ... She was jealous of you having DC3 and, in a petty way, has vowed never to speak to you again.

Take your pick ...

foreverchanging Mon 16-Sep-13 16:33:14

Jealousy perhaps?

What did friend A say when friend B said she didn't remember you?

Strange, but possibly a self protection thing on her behalf?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 16-Sep-13 16:36:00

Maybe it is as the others suggested.

I agree with steppedonlego. Once I realise someone can't/won't handle the friendship in the way I do, I let it go.

FriskyHenderson Mon 16-Sep-13 16:51:05

Growing up I knew neighbours that were thick as thieves, always hanging out together. Neighbour A had adopted 2DC at the same time neighbour B had their two DC, all were friends. Then a few years later neighbour B had DC3 and A never spoke to her again.

But you'll never know for sure why she's strange - just accept she is and move on.

JuanPotatoTwo Mon 16-Sep-13 16:56:24

It can't have been child related envy because at the time I fell pregnant with ds3, both of our younger dc were 7 and we had considered ourselves "done" in terms of having children. She already had two, a dd the same age as mine, and as I say, a 7 yr old ds. It was very strange.

I'm not exactly sure what friend A said to her when B claimed not to remember me. But I should have pointed out to you all that when A and B bumped into each other, B recognised A but claimed not to remember her name. I just think it's strange really and can't see what purpose claiming to forget serves.

Thanks for replies by the way.

Floggingmolly Mon 16-Sep-13 17:01:23

Yes, she was jealous about the baby, no doubt. Didn't friend A remind her how you met?

Floggingmolly Mon 16-Sep-13 17:02:06

Ah, x post.

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 17:05:31

Some people are rubbish with names. Or it could be something similar to what happened to me recently...Friend A told me she saw B last week. I had no idea who she was talking about, was even given a full physical description. Turns out, she was using B's name in full, whereas I have only ever know B by the diminutive, which is a name in itself.
Either way, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

PresidentServalan Mon 16-Sep-13 17:16:20

She may just not have liked you very much. If I don't like someone after a period of time I do tend to blank them.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit Mon 16-Sep-13 17:18:26

Some people are just weird, and to be avoided.

JuanPotatoTwo Mon 16-Sep-13 17:21:14

Well she must have liked me initially President, as we spent a lot of time together. But you're right - she certainly didn't like me at all after I got pregnant, I just don't know why.

Anyway, shan't spend any more time trying to work her out, I just wondered if she genuinely could've forgotten all about me.

YoureBeingADick Mon 16-Sep-13 17:26:04

she sounds embarraseed if anything and pretending not to remember you is a way of avoiding awkward questions she knows will put her in bad light.

zatyaballerina Mon 16-Sep-13 17:27:13

Strange. Perhaps B didn't recognise A because she gained/lost a lot of weight, had different hair or a nose job and feeling bad for not recognising her pretended that she was just bad with names, hence 'forgetting' yours.

Or she just has a really bad memory.

Or she has had some sort of brain damage from brain hemorrhage/car accident etc... affecting her memory.

Or she is nuts.

rootatoot Mon 16-Sep-13 17:33:08

Someone I worked with in small office for 2 years came up to me at a party few years after I'd left company. He was v shifty and then did a 'hi, are you rootatoot? Err do you remember..' to which I said hi Pete. My opinion was that he'd been a shit to me so was embarrassed so denying even remembering who I was exactly was his way of avoiding anything awkward ( in his head. I really wasn't fussed).
Think she was prob doing same.

rootatoot Mon 16-Sep-13 17:34:26

X post yourbeing

Longdistance Mon 16-Sep-13 17:36:14

I'm with yourbeingadick s theory.

She's too embarrassed of what she did, how she behaved. Therefor, to dodge tricky questions, denies all knowledge of knowing you.

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