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to not offer food or coffee to the parents at my DD's birthday party?

(99 Posts)
Kiwiinkits Sun 15-Sep-13 23:45:27

DD is turning 3. We're having a party at a small venue at a museum where they organise stories and games for the kids. Then, I was hoping to just give a 'goodie bag' to each of the kids, which they would take with them to a spot nearby where we would sing happy birthday and cut the cake. There's 10 kids coming, and therefore 10 accompanying adults.

WIBU to just offer the adults a piece of cake (and not offer them drinks or coffee)? Basically I'm really busy and I CBA preparing lots of adult food. CBA preparing a kids party either, which is why I booked the venue. But now I'm getting the guilts about not offering a full Martha Stewart garden party complete with bunting and beautiful cupcakes. Sigh. I hate mummy guilt.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Mon 16-Sep-13 07:29:33

A party in the museum?

I honestly think any party like that is going to be too organised. They won't sit through the games etc.

Honestly pack a picnic and go to the park

It as suggested soft play. They do EVERYTHING you can just turn up and leave.

If they get party bags they will be busy with them not singing so leave then til last.

You are over thinking it? They need to run play and have snacks provided. Organised party won't fit.

itried Mon 16-Sep-13 07:30:59

Simple selection for the children - small sandwiches, savoury snacks (from the packet), fruit (esp grapes) squash. No chocolate!

OK not to offer tea or coffee to the adults but perhaps some naice packet snacks? Just make up extra squash - hot drinks around a bunch of excited 3 year olds (justification!)

One year DD's birthday was on Mothering Sunday. I handed heart-shaped chocolates to the mothers who came to collect - they were very pleased as lots of DHs & Ps had not marked the day.

Shesparkles Mon 16-Sep-13 07:37:09

Ive had 2 children's worth of parties to endure and NEVER EVER have the adults been catered for. The party is for the child, not the adults! Don't add stress needlessly

birdybear Mon 16-Sep-13 07:40:41

Sounds like you need to do a complete rethink! Have you not been to any little kids parties?!

How many are coming? Why do you think a museum is good? If you are not careful, you Will have a load of kids running riot cos they are bored stiff and starving and i load of very annoyed parents!

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 16-Sep-13 07:52:03

Does the museum actually do childrens parties? I know ours dont and they are very likely will not allow you to take your own food in the cafe.

For 3 years olds soft play is better if you dont want to do at home, food is provided by venue, no mess and you can order cake and coffee for the adults on the day so they can socialise whilst the children play.

FlorenceMattell Mon 16-Sep-13 08:02:28

IMO a three year would enjoy a much simpler smaller party. Three other children around to your home.
Keep it short and sweet, 10.30 - 12 is fine. Few games pass the parcels , musical bumps, an activity, look at Baker Ross. Play in the garden, birthday food as has been suggested, and home with a piece of cake and balloon. Ditch the goody bag, usually plastic rubbish.
As a parent yes I would like a cup of tea preferably but soft drink/wine if not driving fine. I wouldn't expect to fed.
Museum for three year old is rubbish, unless it is Seven Stories.

FannyMcNally Mon 16-Sep-13 08:13:04

Have to agree with soft play with the catered option. Also if parents want a drink/snack they can get one from the cafe themselves and also provide for their other children if they've brought them. All you have to bring is a cake and think about a small party bag.

FannyMcNally Mon 16-Sep-13 08:15:20

Are some people really 'livid' if no food is provided?

8dayweek Mon 16-Sep-13 08:16:56

OP, if you want to keep stress levels at a minimum with regards to food I would suggest M&S is your friend - you can order sandwich platters, sausage roll / scotch egg platters etc and I imagine they would do some kind of veg sticks and hummus scenario too. They may even do specific spreads for children parties? Then all you'd need to do is grab a few bags of crisps etc to bulk it out. Will cost you a premium though!

SPBisResisting Mon 16-Sep-13 08:25:29

A lot of museums do seem to have picnic rooms where you can take yojr own food. Think they're intended forr school groups but anyone can use them

littleducks Mon 16-Sep-13 08:47:16

Wrt to halal, cheese label led as vegetarian is fine (avoiding rennet) as is pretty much any jam. I agree its better to keep it simple with plainish sandwiches.

MrsOakenshield Mon 16-Sep-13 09:00:20

I think you're both over-organising and under-organising this. Went to a few 3rd birthdays last year - they are still too little for organised activities, pass the parcel was a disaster. But some lunch wouldn't go amiss, and you do need to provide some kind of refreshment for the parents.

Our local museum has a room where you can eat your own food, and it's very child-friendly, but tbh whenever we go the children just zoom about looking at their favourite things.

I would keep it much more simple for a 3rd birthday (soft play is a good idea if you don't want to have to do too much organising yourself, or, if you have the room, just everyone round to yours for a glorified playdate) but keep this one in mind for 4th or 5th as it does sound a nice idea.

MrsOakenshield Mon 16-Sep-13 09:01:16

oh, and second cheese and jam sandwiches, you can't go wrong.

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 09:05:08

It depends on time of day and length of the party. Ours when DS was little were usually at a soft play place in the arsehole of nowhere and parents/nannies were landlocked until the party finished.

It was usually the 4-6 slot too so I'd get trays of sandiches and pastries and jugs of tea and coffee for the adults. I'd be starving too! If ther wanted booze they could buy their own!

noblegiraffe Mon 16-Sep-13 09:09:53

Wacky Warehouse is where it's at. They feed the kids, adults can buy drinks/snacks at the bar.

A museum sounds a bit of an odd choice for a 3 year old. And too much like hard work if you're going to have to arrange food etc.

soverylucky Mon 16-Sep-13 09:14:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fromparistoberlin Mon 16-Sep-13 09:22:51


and tight, and mean


LCHammer Mon 16-Sep-13 09:32:16

shock What's tight about not feeding the adults? What's all this blingy creep, baby showers, celeb-style weddings, lavish entertain-the parents too-birthday parties. Enough if this. They are adults, they can survive for 2 hours.

soverylucky Mon 16-Sep-13 09:33:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeCool Mon 16-Sep-13 09:42:39

Without parents willing to spend 2 or more hours of their Saturday escorting their DC to this party, there is no party.

Basic hospitality isn't a lot to ask is it? It's not about lavishing the parents but appreciating them and just being a little bit nice instead of completely indifferent.

Or be indifferent - any maybe they will return the favour next year.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Mon 16-Sep-13 09:55:29

Oh absolutely parents don't need feeding but they will need drinks

LCHammer Mon 16-Sep-13 10:00:47

They can also buy drinks. The additional £20-£30 spent on drinks could go towards the plastic tatt in the part bags. Without which you will of course tut some more as 'it's not the fine thing'. You are escorting children for their own entertainment too, not just the party child.

LCHammer Mon 16-Sep-13 10:02:02

I wonder if the people expecting basic hosting are the same who would argue against giving a tradesman a cup of tea. Hmm?

DeWe Mon 16-Sep-13 10:11:27

I think it's fine as long as you have told them on the invites that there will be nibbles not a meal. We did that at one party for 8yo which we could only book 1-3. We just noted on the invite that there would be "a light snack" afterwards, so parents knew to give them a reasonable lunch. We'd previous had that time and they ate next to nothing.

I've only once or twice been at a kids party where the adults were fed, so I wouldn't expect it.

McNewPants2013 Mon 16-Sep-13 10:18:52

buy these and do a packed lunch, you can even put the child's name on them and go to the park with the cake.

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