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to not offer food or coffee to the parents at my DD's birthday party?

(99 Posts)
Kiwiinkits Sun 15-Sep-13 23:45:27

DD is turning 3. We're having a party at a small venue at a museum where they organise stories and games for the kids. Then, I was hoping to just give a 'goodie bag' to each of the kids, which they would take with them to a spot nearby where we would sing happy birthday and cut the cake. There's 10 kids coming, and therefore 10 accompanying adults.

WIBU to just offer the adults a piece of cake (and not offer them drinks or coffee)? Basically I'm really busy and I CBA preparing lots of adult food. CBA preparing a kids party either, which is why I booked the venue. But now I'm getting the guilts about not offering a full Martha Stewart garden party complete with bunting and beautiful cupcakes. Sigh. I hate mummy guilt.

Famzilla Sun 15-Sep-13 23:47:23

So will there be any food whatsoever? I can't tell from your OP whether the kids will be fed anything other than cake, sorry.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sun 15-Sep-13 23:48:00

YABU, i think. Parents have no choice but to stay when the children are only three, so you should at least offer a coffee. Just good manners.

CocacolaMum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:48:17

not preparing adult food is fine, expecting the kids not to dive into their party bags and not pay attention to your plan of singing is a bit optimistic. Would it really be that hard to have a kettle and coffee there for people to help themselves to?

MamaMumra Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:00

A cup of tea or a drink would be nice - does the museum have a cafe?

NumTumDeDum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:01

I think a drink should be offered. I'm with you on the food though. A bit of cake and a brew, no more. Presumably it's only going to be 90 mins max so they won't starve!

Kiwiinkits Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:07

Also, what's the etiquette around opening presents? Do I let my DD open her gifts at the venue? Or should we take them home and do the opening discretely?

MidniteScribbler Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:09

Can you take a couple of thermos of hot water, some tea, coffee, milk and disposable cups and set them up on a card table and let parents help themselves? Or at least have some bottles of water available? I wouldn't bother with food, but I'd have a few drinks at least. Alternatively, is there a coffee shop nearby that parents could go and buy their own?

LittleBearPad Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:21

I think a drink would be good. Sounds like you'll be outside so a few soft drinks / water. Nothing effortful but something.

Also not clear if the kids get anything?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:34

What do you mean by "spot"? Can't judge till' you it a layby? A cafe? A park?

CocacolaMum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:47

also, if you cba to do a party wtf are you bothering for!?

NumTumDeDum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:49:55

I was assuming the children have more than cake btw.

HeySoulSister Sun 15-Sep-13 23:51:20

It sounds awful.... Sorry op, but at 3 they should be having FUN!!

NumTumDeDum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:51:41

Yes take presents home to open, that way no one compares presents and if your dc has an unfavourable reaction to anything, you won't be embarassed!

Kiwiinkits Sun 15-Sep-13 23:51:56

Okay, thanks guys. Fair enough. Will have a re-think.

ShakeAndVac Sun 15-Sep-13 23:52:19

Hard to tell from your post whether YABU or not. Is there going tobe any food AT ALL?! As in, are the 3 year old's getting fed?!
If I were taking mine to a 3 year old's party, I'd expect the children to be fed, and the adults as a bonus. I certainly wouldn't expect the adults to be fed but it would be nice if they were.
No food at a party for even the children though is definitely not the norm and people bringing their small people to the party will probably be expecting the small people to be fed!

BiBiBroccoli Sun 15-Sep-13 23:53:00

Well it's not exactly a hurculean task to provide 10 drinks - so yes YABU.

Can't you just buy a couple of bottles of juice/schloer/water and some plastic cups? You could buy a box of Krispy Kremes or some muffins from Tesco. It is a small amount of effort and as the parents will be forced to stay due to DC's age I think its rude not to offer at least a drink.

ShakeAndVac Sun 15-Sep-13 23:56:47

Seriously, I've been to loads of children's birthday parties the past few years and I've never expected to be fed or watered. Neither do most people.
Are the children having party food though? You weren't very clear in your OP.
The children should be fed if not. It's supposed to be a party after all. smile

Kiwiinkits Mon 16-Sep-13 00:00:58

Yes the kids are getting some party food in their goodie bags, like mini choc bars, a lollipop etc. But on second thought this isn't going to cut it.

Next year Dad is going to organise the party. I run a consulting firm, FFS, but organising a child's party is far more stressful.

Thanks all x

CocacolaMum Mon 16-Sep-13 00:06:02

Lunch boxes are easy to do in advance and I found that there is FAR less waste. You can buy them flatpacked in most party shops or online and then just pop in carton of juice, sarnie, etc

pigletmania Mon 16-Sep-13 00:08:44

A party without party food shock you Willhave to re plan I think. Yes t is good manners to offer parents a drink, they have no choice to stay

MidniteScribbler Mon 16-Sep-13 00:10:25

Do grocery stores in the UK do party platters? Ours will make up platters with things like cheese, crackers, cold meats, olives, etc and you can pick them up the day before or on the day and they're on a platter ready to serve. Alternatively, places like subway will do big platters of mixed subs, or most sandwich shops will do platters for you. There's the savory sorted, then buy a few packs of donuts or mini muffins and you've sorted the sweeter side.

LCHammer Mon 16-Sep-13 00:12:56

They need 'proper' food not just mini-chocs etc in their bag. It's all very wasteful as 3/4 will be thrown away. But as you can see its not the kids but the parents you also have to appease. I wouldn't bother with food or drinks for the parents. They aren't going to wilt in 2 hours. Different if it's a party at home.

BackforGood Mon 16-Sep-13 00:16:53

You really, really, really don't 'need' to do a birthday party for a 3 yr old. If it's not something that you particularly want, then don't do it - it's fine.
It becomes a bit more 'expected' once they get to school, but you've got 2 years to worry about before then, and you can get loads of advice on here in 2015 smile

ShakeAndVac Mon 16-Sep-13 00:26:59

Yes the kids are getting some party food in their goodie bags, like mini choc bars, a lollipop etc. But on second thought this isn't going to cut it.

Just in the party bags at the end?! Nope, that's rubbish, sorry! You'll have a load of "hungry, starving" kids (they all say that when hungry lol) all expecting party food.
Because a load of parents who have only given them a measly sandwich and piece of fruit before the party as they thought there was going to be food at the party and didn't want to spoil their appetite.
You don't need to do anything lavish. Just some sandwiches, crisps, fruit and fairy cakes type thing.

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