And my family (not my parents) have an opinion on who I should invite.
My one living Grandfather is very unwell. In the last decade he has suffered a massive stroke and brain haemorrhage. This year he spent four months in hospital following a succession of mini strokes. He is home now. Bed ridden but home. Very unwell in almost all senses.
I visited my Nan and Grandfather to show them my ring and talk about my news two days after I got engaged (phoned them on the day). My Nan essentially offered congratulations and said "of course I won't be because your Grandfather can't come". I said "what do you mean? You could get carers in for the day if you feel he can't come". She replied "so you're saying he isn't welcome". At this point I just said this wasn't the time or place to discuss it. We carried on chatting and all was fine. I've spoken with her since.
Now on Friday my maternal uncle turned up at my Mum's to discuss how much my Grandfather wanted to go etc. She said this was fine but he would have to deal with the logistics because as immediate family of the bride they would all busy with me.
I feel offended that unsaid but very much implied message here is that I am embarrassed of my Grandfather being disabled. This is not the case. I am concerned that given his health now he will not be well enough really. Frankly I feel that on any given day if I asked my Grandfather "do you want to be a Martian" he would say yes. I think it would be cruel to crow bar him into a suit and take him to an unfamiliar environment surrounded by people he didn't know or hasn't seen for 27 years. If he was health wise as he was a year or two ago I wouldn't care and everyone else could like it or eff off. I am genuinely concerned for his health.
This has turned into a ramble sorry. Essentially am I being unreasonable to worry my much loved but very ill Grandfather is going to be forced into a situation he cannot cope with?
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I have been engaged for an entire week
25 replies
Alisvolatpropiis · 15/09/2013 20:06
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