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AIBU?

Friend - Rent - She wants me out!

128 replies

PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:24

My friend was given an HA flat a few years ago - she has since moved in with her husband to a beautiful (mortgaged) home and I have been renting her flat. I recently lost my job but because its a HA flat I can't claim HB - She begged me to move in against my better judgement as she wanted someone she could trust in it (told her she needs to give it back but she says it her flat!)

I have been working self employed and have some money coming in soon but at the moment I'm in arrears with my rent - which when it comes through I can settle up with her and find another flat - she is fuming and wants me out - I am penniless at the moment and have nowhere to go - if she could wait 2 more weeks I can pay her all that I owe her - she won't wait - I'm one month in arrears at the moment.

I'm refusing to budge - she has threatened to come and throw all my stuff out! We have been friends for 20 years and I can't understand why she is being like this - AIBU?

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GobbySadcase · 13/09/2013 13:25

Shop her. She's subletting and will be in the doo-doo.

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CatAmongThePigeons · 13/09/2013 13:26

She's illegally subletting, they probably know something is up and she's panicking.

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Ezio · 13/09/2013 13:26

Money makes being selfish, she obviously still pays the rent on it, and has to pay out of her own money.

But as a friend she could atleast wait if its just 2 weeks.

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monkeybuts · 13/09/2013 13:26

Ahem. Call HA and tell them..shes misusing the house. .she doesn't need it. Give it back! ..after this I wouldn't be paying her the money owed either. .shes ruined your friendship now anyways. Can you stay with friends?

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Ezio · 13/09/2013 13:27

But as the others say, shes not allowed, and could get into serious trouble, i'd seriously consider moving out.

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/09/2013 13:28

You are both BU! She is sub-letting so obviously doesn't play by the rules and you have enabled her to do this.

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specialsubject · 13/09/2013 13:30

as it is an illegal sublet anyway you are on very shaky ground. Have you known this all along? Call the council, come clean and explain your problem.

the flat needs to go to the right people. You need shelter - so maybe start with them.

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YouTheCat · 13/09/2013 13:30

She isn't allowed to sublet probably so any agreement between you is null and void and you owe her not a penny.

There is no way she can enforce any of this legally.

Try and get through the next 2 weeks and then bugger off. Don't give her any more money.

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Leopoldina · 13/09/2013 13:30

"because you are illegally subletting, I am not able to claim benefits to which i may be entitled. as a result, I'm unable to pay your rent for the next two weeks. Either you wait, or I have to leave and you have to find another non-benefits tenant who you don't know and trust to take your illegal sublet".

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PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:31

Ezio - that's what I don't understand - if roles were reversed I would tell her relax and pay me when you can - I would trust her to pay me ASAP.

Yes the friendship has been ruined - but I can't shop her - she has 3 beautiful children now who need her and I'm not the vengeful type!

can I phone the police if she comes and starts throwing my stuff out?

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Chattymummyhere · 13/09/2013 13:31

I would sumit a claim for housing at the flat.... After all you rent it from your landlady you do not need to know its a housing ass flat already...

Oh and even though I'm guessing you have no written contract you will by law have an ast and she would still have to follow proper guidelines to evict you, her texting saying she is going to throw your stuff out would be classed as illegal eviction and harassment...


Screw her over she's no friend if this is her attitude, ring the police and say you have been told by your landlady she is going to let herself in your house without your permission and dispose of your items again with no consent

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AngelsLieToKeepControl · 13/09/2013 13:31

How much paperwork do you have? Do you have a record of what you paid her? Did you get any sort of tenancy agreement, even a text or an email? Give everything you have to the HA, they may be able to help you get somewhere else since she is illegally subletting.

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Chattymummyhere · 13/09/2013 13:32

Sorry but her having kids is no part in this she has a house she owns she can afford the fine, the kids won't go without

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PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:33

I know Betty! wish I had never done it - it is against all my values but I needed a place and its a lovely flat......I know!

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fragola · 13/09/2013 13:35

Your friend sounds horrible OP, not only for wanting to see you on the street, but also for depriving someone in need of a home so that she can make a profit. I don't think falling out with her is any great loss.

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PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:36

Hi Chatty - yes I think I'll tell her if she comes and lets herself in I will call the police.

Money makes people strange doesn't it?

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PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:37

Fragola - that's the thing - its so out of character for her - I've never seen this side to her - I was wondering if she might be depressed or something?

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creighton · 13/09/2013 13:38

if you are worried about her moving your stuff, change or add another lock. she is illegally subletting and so does not have a leg to stand on. don't be intimidated. you don't owe her or her children anything. she is selfish and greedy and a fool to upset you.

if you call the housing association, they will make you leave, but might be able to help if you are homeless.

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/09/2013 13:39

Yes, money does very strange things to people which is why I think friendship and business don't really mix.

Listen, speaking as a LL I can tell you it is a nightmare getting rid of a tenant and if she comes into the flat without your permission she is on a sticky wicket. She is bluffing - she knows if she gets caught subletting she will have a hefty fine to pay, she is just trying scare tactics.

Tell her she has 2 choices - she can either wait 2 weeks and get her money and maybe come out of this unscathed or tell her she will have to go through the legal channels to get rid of you - unless she is a total dimwit (sounds like she could be) she will give you the 2 weeks and not pester you anymore.

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PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:40

Angels I don't have any paperwork - but I'm waiting for the sale of my house to go through and then I can sort out my own place - Only needed to rent her flat for about a year - its only been 6 months!

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Fairylea · 13/09/2013 13:40

She's taking advantage of you and stopping you or another person who really needs it from accessing a housing association home. I'd shop her. She has a house and a husband. She will have to manage and the kids will be fine.

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PuffandStuff · 13/09/2013 13:42

Creighton - That's a good idea - change the locks - how much does that cost? I could do it myself actually - good thinking!

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givemeaboost · 13/09/2013 13:45

Um tbh you have her over a barrel!!

Being a HA house does not mean you cant claim HB- you can, and I would advise you to! I highly suspect she has not authority to sublet the flat-the HA are most probably unaware that she is not living there and if found out she will be in MASSIVE trouble.

Makes me Angry its people like her hogging HA homes that are NOT theirs and renting them to others which means the rest of us waiting for accommodation have to wait even longer. I wonder how much of this sort of thing goes on, quite a bit I suspect!

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specialsubject · 13/09/2013 13:46

so she is allowed to commit fraud because she has kids?

Get out. Find a legit rental. You said you were penniless so you can't afford to buy locks.

the property isn't yours or hers, it belongs to the council.

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jacks365 · 13/09/2013 13:46

Puff whose name are the utilities and council tax in? If yours then it provides evidence that you are renting the flat if not then what would there be to stop her turning round to the police and stating you aren't renting and are just trespassing. Think hard about what evidence you have that you live there rather than just staying as her guest. How have you been paying the rent via chq or bank transfer or was it cash?

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