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To think oh "STFU" and give no further consideration to this "parenting concern" from ds's Dad?

(121 Posts)
Sparklysilversequins Fri 13-Sep-13 11:46:13

Apparently he is "concerned" that ds eats coco pops for breakfast twice a week as its nothing more than "sugary air". Ds usually has eggs or bacon or toast on the other days but these coco pops are a REAL issue apparently. We have had two heated phone calls about it in the last 24 hours hmm.

He's my ex by the way.

Sparklysilversequins Fri 13-Sep-13 21:24:07

grin I honestly didn't mean to drip feed. I wanted to get opinions on it as a stand alone issue but then obviously some of the advice wasn't at all practical and believe it or not I actually forget ds is autistic a lot of the time, he just is what he is iyswim?

As for porridge? << goes grey with terror at the meltdown that serving porridge would induce in ds>>. He'd sooner throw himself under a bus than eat it, sad but true.

Sparklysilversequins Fri 13-Sep-13 21:25:22

And actually IS sugary air twice a week really THAT bad? confused

TobyLerone Fri 13-Sep-13 21:31:45

Nope. My DS is 13 and had breakfast this morning for the first time in weeks. Homemade banana bread smothered in Nutella hmm

Bogeyface Fri 13-Sep-13 21:40:46

It kills me that the same people saying "its sugary air" will happily post on other threads about McDonalds and Nutella.....because thats packed full of nutrients isnt it?!

Nah, twice a week and no meltdowns is fine imo. My kids had sausage sandwiches for tea because ~I couldnt be arsed to cook, no food issues here just a lazy arsed mother grin

Sparklysilversequins Fri 13-Sep-13 21:48:02

Oh I would LOVE it if my dc would eat my banana bread. They turn their noses up at it in favour of shop bought fairy cakes!

TobyLerone Fri 13-Sep-13 21:49:27

I'm very lucky with DS. He will eat anything (and everything)!

FreudiansSlipper Fri 13-Sep-13 21:59:20

i wonder what is really bothering him i doubt it is the coco pops he is having twice a week

the ex when he wants to get at me will go on about ds vests being too small smile every fucking time

kali110 Fri 13-Sep-13 22:14:23

Yes both should be allowed their input on what goes on with their child, however considering the child isnt even able to stay with him think the op gets more input.
Op i wouldnt worry aslong as your son is healthy and eating. Personally if my child wanted to eat small bowl of cocopops every day but was having healthy diet the rest of the day id be fine. My parents were constantly trying to get me to tey diff things for breakfast. Put me off so much i stopped ( and still rarely) have breakfast. I cannot stand anything sloppy (can only eat dry cereal) especially things like porridge weatabix or ready break etc even the smell makes me sick . My mum would have happily given me coco pops to get me to eat something.

Hissy Fri 13-Sep-13 22:29:11

There is only one thing worse than a helicopter parent, and that's a seagull parent.

spends most of the time doing fuck all, swoops in, craps over everything, and swoops off again.

Crap dad's like that don't get to say fuck all when it comes to parenting.

When he's manned the fuck up and actually assumed proper responsibility, THEN he can proffer his input.

In a perfect world, a father does what needs to be doing, puts his child's needs above his own, and is an active and equal parent for his child.

This 'man' isn't that man. FAR from it.

Stfu is all he's due.

It sounds very controlling to me, but then I have just had similar conversations with my ex on another matter. It is pushing boundaries. My advice is to keep a log of these "complaints" and how you responded. My legal team are convinced my ex will try to file for residency on grounds of my poor parenting so by keeping the log I will be hoping to show that the many minor complaints are vexatious rather than serious concerns.

Onebuddhaisnotenough Fri 13-Sep-13 22:40:24

Hissy says all I want to say.

Back seat, sea gulling, nob ending part time parents. Tell him to focus his bloody energy on finding somewhere decent to live so that he can start being a proper parent to your son. THEN he can start criminalising the coco pops.


MistressDeeCee Fri 13-Sep-13 22:41:16

oooo Coco Pops today then if you'd caved in on that OP what would he think of to nag about tomorrow? It'd go on..& on..& on. Control freaks are always banging on about one thing or another to do with their hunger to change and control. Yep, he needs to stfu

Hissy - very well said. & ' seagull parenting ' I've not heard that one before! Love it...

Bogeyface Sat 14-Sep-13 00:19:01

Another vote here for "seagull parenting"

spends most of the time doing fuck all, swoops in, craps over everything, and swoops off again.

I wish I had the ability to condense 10 years of bullshit into one sentence, I really do!

YouTheCat Sat 14-Sep-13 00:20:57

That is a brilliant expression. grin

Misspixietrix Sat 14-Sep-13 00:37:59

^EXACTLY What Hissy just said. My Seagull parent flew in today to literally shit all over us and leave Dd in tears! I went batshit at him angry. When you have the DCs for more than once in a bloody Blue moon. When you have actually took them to the dentist etc. THEN you get to comment on diet health etc. Until then FO to the Far side of F! He sounds like hes just trying to bait you OP by being a nitpicking twat. Dont rise to it like I did earlier blush

TobyLerone Sat 14-Sep-13 07:37:16

He literally shat all over you? I hope you called the police.

burberryqueen Sat 14-Sep-13 07:38:47

grin @ "literally shat on you" - jeez what a nasty man

TyrannosaurusBex Sat 14-Sep-13 08:00:30

BBC2 did a short series a few years ago where a scientist/mum of twins did research into most educational toy etc. One programme set out to find out whether the likes of coco pops for breakfast a couple of times a week was harmful. The conclusion was that it was not a big deal and waaaaay preferable to barely eating any of a more nutritious breakfast. Don't THINK it was sponsored ny Nestlé grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sat 14-Sep-13 08:01:22


There is only one thing worse than a helicopter parent, and that's a seagull parent. Spends most of the time doing fuck all, swoops in, craps over everything, and swoops off again

I am so stealing that smile

Sparkly ignore ignore ignore... ignore some more. This, I suspect, is a lot more about him being a controlling twat than what DS is actually eating. Seagulls are best ignored smile

However, (in my not so humble opinion - LOL) coco pops are terrible for breakfast as they are just sugar and do horrid things to your blood glucose levels, so best avoided whenever possible. However, I also know 'food' is very difficult with some children who have SN's and you do what you have to do. Are there any other 'quick' protein based breakfasts that DS would find suitable?

- Cheese & ham
- Full fat yogurt with berries
- Avocado, cheese & seeds (food doctor do some really nice ones!)
- Left-overs

That kind of thing? Or are they all a big fat no-go?

Misspixietrix Sat 14-Sep-13 08:03:47

TobyLerone and BurberryQueen no not literally Sorry I was a tad okay very! emotional last night blush He may as Well have done though the stress he causes. He told his 7yo Dd he was going to disown her If she disrespected him again hmm. Sorry for hijacking OP. I know Dentists dont like coco pops but I hardly think a treat once or twice a week is going to seriously Damage Ds's health. smile

Misspixietrix Sat 14-Sep-13 08:09:22

The hmm was aimed at the ex by the way I dont want to start any bun fights unintentionally flowers. Oooh OP wasnt they a thing about Special K being full of sugar a while back. So really Cocopops Isnt really that harmful is it? grin

ipswichwitch Sat 14-Sep-13 08:12:22

Well when he's actually done some parenting then maybe he can comment on/criticise yours. They're coco pops not crack cocaine, and as long as a diet is pretty healthy the rest of the time, I don't see once of twice a week being a major issue.
Fwiw, my nephew is autistic and I know how difficult it is getting him to eat anything. SIL would be overjoyed at him eating breakfast never mind a decent cooked one.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sat 14-Sep-13 08:21:37

That discribes ds1s dad down to the ground. I really cant get all excited or judgy about sugary air or whatever a couple of times a week.

TobyLerone Sat 14-Sep-13 08:25:47

Oh, misspixie, I was being a pedantic arse and I'm sorry flowers

Your ex can join the Pisswizards' Club, of which my ex is Grand High Pisswizard and the OP's ex is Treasurer.

Misspixietrix Sat 14-Sep-13 08:35:05

IpswichWitch grin at "They're Coco Pops. Not Crack Cocaine". TobyLerone No need to apologise smile. I've called him many names before under my breath but I'm definately sticking with Pisswizard in future! My DM sent me a text where she was sarcastically calling him "His Lordship" and it autocorrected to "His Lordshit". Saving that one too!

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