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So, I offered a fellow mum ...

(137 Posts)
MoistJoist Thu 12-Sep-13 07:58:25

... a brand new (school-branded) uniform set for her DC as she had been unable to order any in time for the start of the school term. I gave it to her last week and she promised to pop the money for it round the following day. She didn't, and I did not hear from her until I received a text yesterday saying she had ordered more uniform for her DC as, after she washed and dried the new set I gave her, they came up a little tight, and that she will return the set to me tomorrow (presumably after her DC has worn it for the whole week ...)

I'm not sure how she's washed and dried it as I have washed the same uniform set (part of the same batch I ordered, and cleaned according to the instructions on the label(s)), tried it on my DS (who is a smidgeon bigger than her DC) and it came up just fine i.e. it is his size. There is every possibility that it may not see him through the entire school year if he goes through a growth spurt, but it is his size.

I'm not really sure how to respond to her text. I'm not close to the mum, but our DC have been cared for together for years and are good friends (and will be in the same class at school, which they are hugely excited about), and I have always liked and respected her, albeit from a distance. I don't think it is worth falling out over this (especially as I am not desperate for the money), but AIBU to consider her text a little bit cheeky, given that it was a brand new set and she'd promised to pay me for it? And WWYD?

intitgrand Sun 15-Sep-13 21:15:42

No good deed goes unpunished sad

zoobaby Sun 15-Sep-13 20:53:37

Hmmm. I wonder how future encounters will play out now.

SlobAtHome Sun 15-Sep-13 20:50:56


hermioneweasley Sun 15-Sep-13 20:45:52

Result! Can't believe she was going to try and pass it on to you when she admits she had shrunk it through incorrect washing. Cheeky cow! Wide berth in future OP

ExitPursuedByADragon Sun 15-Sep-13 19:52:10


breatheslowly Sun 15-Sep-13 19:31:13

If her uniform order had arrived on time she would have shrunk that instead of the one you sold her, so she would have been in exactly the same position either way.

expatinscotland Sun 15-Sep-13 18:09:59

Hurray! Must be some uniform, to shrink. Haven't heard that one in years. But hey, result!

fuzzpig Sun 15-Sep-13 17:48:53

She is soooo an MNer!

2gorgeousboys Sun 15-Sep-13 17:23:09

Maybe she is a Mumsnetter, saw this thread and realised how cheeky she was being grin.

TootiesFrootie Sun 15-Sep-13 17:09:44

That's great.

(I can't believe you offered to let her pay you back later... Will you never learn!!! Stop being so nice grin )

Snatchoo Sun 15-Sep-13 17:06:26

I am gobsmacked! Didn't see that coming!

bishboschone Sun 15-Sep-13 16:30:25

She must be seriously rubbish at washing to shrink uniform . It's made from pretty indestructible stuff..!! Anyway glad you got
Your money.

PTFO Sun 15-Sep-13 16:27:08

Me thinks she has seen this post, either way you got the right result!

HeffalumpTheFlump Sun 15-Sep-13 16:26:44

Glad she gave you the money, but I cant quite believe the cheek of her that she was trying to get you to fork out for a uniform that she shrunk! Cheeky cow!!

MoistJoist Sun 15-Sep-13 16:16:05

So, the mum dropped something off and it was .... <drumroll> ...

... the MONEY!

I did ask how the uniform had shrunk and she said it had been washed/dried incorrectly and had shrunk so that it was tight on her DC, and admitted that with my DS being bigger than her DC, it probably wouldn't fit him anymore! I also said I'd be happy for her to pay me back at a later point if easier for her, but she was fine with paying me back now.

She seemed ok, albeit appearing to be in a hurry (as she'd been driven over by someone who was waiting for her, and had to get into town). All in all, a civilized (even if short) conversation.

It's a shame about the uniform as she's been left out of pocket, but I would have been as well so I'm trying not to feel guilty about that - overall, I'm just pleased it's now resolved.

Thanks to all again for their opinions/responses smile

YeahWhat Sat 14-Sep-13 10:56:11


Honestly, What do you think the chances are that she forgot?
Hint, it is less than 1 percent smile

It's easy for you to let this slide but people like your grabby friend will never learn if noone calls them up on their behaviour.

She isn't embarrassed about stealing taking your stuff - so why should you worry about feeling embarrassed about asking for the money? It doesn't make sense for you not too.

I bet that if you don't do anything it will bug you for years. hmm

Snatchoo Sat 14-Sep-13 10:32:27

Moist you are being far too generous.

No one 'forgets' after a week that they agreed to pay for something! And now you have given her a perfect get-out by saying she can drop round the uniform OR the money.

Bet she doesn't contact you and then leaves them on your doorstep when you're out.

Bowlersarm Sat 14-Sep-13 10:02:23

She has been very cheeky. You are not the designated uniform supplier! You did a good deed, and now are (possibly) having to pay the price, of her careless clothes washing habits.

Hmmm. Well you clearly need to be the bigger person here, but she isn't being at all fair or reasonable.

Jinsei Sat 14-Sep-13 09:53:16

Well done, OP, you sound more than reasonable. Hopefully the other mum will realise that it isn't on to give the uniform back, but if she doesn't, you'll just have to chalk it up to experience. And make a mental note not to help her ever again!

Charlottehere Sat 14-Sep-13 09:41:27

It's not worth it...let it go, lesson learned ie be wary of her in future

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 14-Sep-13 09:32:24

If she's just thoughtless, then hopefully you've made her think

MoistJoist Sat 14-Sep-13 09:19:48

Still no response from her ...

I don't know her very well but, the more I think about it, I genuinely don't think she's horrible or malicious. It might just be she sent her text without thinking or had forgotten that she agreed to pay for it. I'm always happy to give people the benefit of the doubt, and don't think 30-odd pounds is (to me) worth a huge ruckus (although I appreciate that I am lucky as others may not be able to write off such an amount so easily). If she returns the uniform, I shall accept it with a smile, but make a mental note about being a bit more wary in the future smile

hermioneweasley Sat 14-Sep-13 09:15:11

If she tried to drop off the uniform, have the receipt ready and tell her you're out of pocket but if she washed it as per instructions and it's faulty, here's the receipt to send it back.

And now distance - as expat said, cheeky pisstakers are not your friend.

SarahAndFuck Sat 14-Sep-13 09:09:14

I think she's been really rude.

She may have washed it before he DC wore it, as some things feel much nicer once they have been washed.

But she agreed to buy the uniform, it's not your fault she shrank it in the wash.

If she has the cheek to bring the uniform back rather than the money she owes you then you should have no qualms about asking her how she washed it and ruined it.

PeppermintCreamsSaga Sat 14-Sep-13 09:08:35

Didn't finish my post.

I'm guessing that there's nothing wrong with the "shrunken" uniform and it will be perfectly usable for your child.

I would leave it as a valuable lesson, and a warning on how this mum is going to be over the next few years. Tell her lie that you've taken it back to the shop and got a bigger set for free.

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