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to be upset at boring birthday presents

(99 Posts)
waybuloony Wed 11-Sep-13 13:40:53

Ok, it's not my birthday for a few days but I've just seen a despatch order in my dh's email inbox (I have access to this with his permission) for some Ladies welly boot socks and a black umbrella which I'm guessing are meant for my birthday and I'm more than a little bit mortified. Arent these the sort of pressies you give an old aunt for xmas and not your dearly beloved?

We've been together 11 years, have had a few up's and down's lately and are feeling the pinch a bit right now but I feel really upset. AIBU?

Should I say anything?

BluddyMoFo Wed 11-Sep-13 21:15:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffy1234 Wed 11-Sep-13 21:16:53

Plan a nice meal out/evening in and just wait and see what pressies you get.

ToysRLuv Wed 11-Sep-13 21:18:01

T'was my birthday today. Didn't ask for anything or expect anything (in fact I said not to get anything). Got a potted plant and DH took DS to preschool and collected him, so I got to sleep in an potter around at home.

ToysRLuv Wed 11-Sep-13 21:18:35

We both work from home.

invicta Wed 11-Sep-13 21:18:42

Let us know what you get from him.

defineme Wed 11-Sep-13 21:21:48

Perhaps he's treating you to a night away, but is worried it will be wet? <hopeful>

Topseyt Wed 11-Sep-13 21:22:45

My hubby prefers these days to buy me something like an Amazon voucher. He gave me a £30 one a few weeks ago for my birthday, and I ordered a load of books I had been itching to read. I am currently ploughing through them.

My parents used to have an ongoing family joke with each other over which "bad" present to get. I remember one year my dad got my mum a fire extinguisher and a fire blanket to keep in the kitchen. We were all in stitches about it, and it was done for fun. We still laugh about it sometimes now, though I know it wouldn't tickle everyone's sense of humour. That is just what we were like.

ToysRLuv Wed 11-Sep-13 21:24:09

One year I got DH a bottle of Tesco Value Vodka grin

Fluffy1234 Wed 11-Sep-13 21:26:06

This thread reminded of the Christmas when a relative brought his DW tummy fat reducing contraption thing.. She was not best pleased.

camtt Wed 11-Sep-13 21:27:49

ooh - fire extinguisher? Christmas present idea for my DH!

NoSquirrels Wed 11-Sep-13 21:29:12

If you have his permission for access to his inbox, and you have seen the despatch note, and you don't like the look of it, say something! Gently. . . perhaps send him a link to something you would like? Or say "DH, saw the order for the wellies and brolly. Didn't know your mum/auntie X/your sis had given us her Xmas list already! Hope she did ask for them, wouldn't want her to be disappointed by a dull gift on the day. . ."

freddiefrog Wed 11-Sep-13 21:29:35

DH bought me a top this year.

Shame it was a maternity top from Mothercare. He saw it and thought my non-pregnant self would like it - big clue in the shop name DH

Havea0 Wed 11-Sep-13 21:30:28

A. He remembered
B. He bought two items
C. Doesnt look like he is going to be late
D. He has at least tried to put some thought into it
E. That may not be all he has bought - though dont hold your breath too much on this one!!
F. They may be for someone else <clutches at straws>
G. He hasnt blown the budget! Joke, but that is important a bit.

For the rest. See the excellent posts above.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 11-Sep-13 21:32:11

I know someone whose dh once gave her a car jack and wheel wrench. Think yourselves lucky. grin

holidaybug Wed 11-Sep-13 21:34:27

YABU - if you love each other, that's what is important. I always tell DH (after 13 years of marriage) that I don't want a birthday present and he is finally listening. I usually get a card from him and DC and maybe breakfast in bed or some other treat and I'm happy with that.

If your focus is on material things, then it's wrong IMO.

NuggetofPurestGreen Wed 11-Sep-13 21:35:27

We don't bother with birthday presents. Like specialsubject one of us takes the other for dinner around the birthday time. Don't really see the point of the 'tell him what to buy' thing - why not just buy it for yourself then and cut out the middle man.

Havea0 Wed 11-Sep-13 21:36:20

Having had a reread, I think you are upset not so much by the boringness, but because they are not romantic? Because you have had ups and downs this year?
But tbh, I personally wouldnt mind those presents because he put some thought into them and got it spectacularly wrong.
Either that, or he is having a joke.

YANBU, they sound pretty dull pressies.
However it's my birthday today and DH got me the following:
x6 cans of a soft drink I like
x4 packs beef Jerkey (His favourite - I'm pretty sure one of the packs was already in the cupboard at home!)
x3 bars of chocolate
small pack of Ferrero Rocher
a giant (18 servings) cupcake birthday cake.
He doesn't like cake, I'm not a massive fan and there's only us 2 and the dog so not sure who he is expecting to eat it! (dog keeps eyeing it up though)
I mentioned I would take it to work tomorrow and share it out (good plan, no?) and he is not happy about this - he said he bought it for us, not my work colleagues hmm

To be fair I do like all of the above treats but looked more like the weekly shop than my bday present!
My main present is on its way from America (a case for my new laptop) which he only ordered yesterday after me emailing him a link saying 'you should get me this for my birthday'

He did however do well on the card which is always my favourite part of birthdays. even if he did clearly get it with the treats from tesco on the way home from work tonight
He's rubbish at present giving occasions, thankfully not just with me or I'd be really offended!

ToysRLuv Wed 11-Sep-13 21:45:02

Hello keepthechange! It's mine too! It's an easy date for people do remember, isn't it..

DH got me a card, but I told him not to open it or write in it. We will just use it for someone else..

holidaybug Wed 11-Sep-13 21:51:20

hmm at an easy date for people to remember - an easy date for people to remember that nearly 3,000 people died ...

holidaybug Wed 11-Sep-13 21:52:20

But, in a good spirit, Happy Birthday

ToysRLuv Wed 11-Sep-13 21:55:48

Yes, that's what I meant. Absolutely. Fucking hell!hmm There is a sort of black humour about it in an "Osama really wrecked my 21st" kind of way, to me. But of course I'm not happy about what happened. DBIL was on a plane to US that day.

The fact remains, that people remember my B-day better post 9/11 than they did before, and that's an indisputable fact, I'm afraid. But, for the last time, I'm not happy about what happened.

ToysRLuv Wed 11-Sep-13 21:56:16

Thanks anyway.. wink

TiredyCustards Wed 11-Sep-13 21:58:33

Perhaps they are the wrapped part of a romantic walk in the rain or ...... something like that?

DH's family regularly get me things for the children for my birthday. Eg a baby blanket, or an Annabel Karmel cook book.

holidaybug Wed 11-Sep-13 21:59:22

I was there that day - I just thought your post was a tad insensitive particularly on the anniversary. Now a birthday of 05/05/05 - now that is easy to remember.

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