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To want my DH to spend more of his birthday weekend with us?

(55 Posts)
cg13 Tue 10-Sep-13 20:52:11

It's DH's birthday this weekend. He's going to a 2-day sports seminar, at a club he no longer belongs to (he left because he was fed up with all the politics and expense). However, the head of the club offered him a free space and he wants to go. I'm a little bit cheesed off as its his birthday, but it finishes at 4 on Saturday so we're going out for an early dinner with DD. On Sunday there's a party from 6pm to 10pm so it is going to take up most of the weekend. The problem is he's now said he's going to go early on the Saturday to help set things up. This will be at 7am rather than the start time of 9am. I've said I don't want him to as its his birthday and that at least he could stay for breakfast and open his presents. Until a couple of weeks ago he wasn't even going so they can hardly be relying on his help, and, seeing he's not a club member anymore it's not his job to help out. He says its his choice what to do on his birthday, but I can't understand why he would choose to be elsewhere if he doesn't have to be. We're now not speaking, and I think if he's not bothered why should I make an effort for his birthday? But AIBU or is he?

Therealamandaclarke Wed 11-Sep-13 18:41:46

I can understand why you might feel upset.
But try not to take it personally. It's just a thing he wants to go to.
It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he thinks it's not fun being with you. It's just a clash of timings.

Therealamandaclarke Wed 11-Sep-13 18:43:19

kelly grin

Bowlersarm Wed 11-Sep-13 18:48:09

Oh OP I do feel for you but I think YAabitU.

You have him from 4.00 Saturday, and then all day Sunday, is that right? Is it his party or someone else's and are you both going?

In our family that would be plenty enough time for family birthdays!

I do feel for you, if you are miserable about it, but try and let him have the birthday that he wants.

judgejudithjudy Wed 11-Sep-13 18:57:52

why has no-one informed me about birthday weekends?! must tell dh that im like the queen so will have two birthday daya a year :-)

yabu btw lol :-P

cg13 Sat 14-Sep-13 14:19:12

Wow, can't believe how many birthday grinches there are! Love your post Kelly. I'm new to MN so did not realise this.

In any case, given the balance of opinion I said no more about it. However, on Thursday he spontaneously said he wanted to be here for breakfast as he'll hardly see us otherwise. So DD and I made breakfast muffins yesterday and we had them warmed with jam this morning, with the dinosaur candles DD chose. He was touched and DD loved it.

He went out at 9 and will be back at 4. Tomorrow it's 9 to 4, and then 6 to 11pm for the after-seminar party. So, I'm grateful that we all snatched some time together. I work FT with a 3-hour commute each day, so don't care if wanting to spend birthday time together makes me appear "entitled".

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