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Is it just me???

(12 Posts)
2003222 Tue 10-Sep-13 15:58:25

My partner gets really angry at me because the house is never tidy,
He works 9-5 every day (good but not a very demanding job) but he has never done night feeds because he works so I let him have the sleep (our daughter is now 9 months old but she still wakes up and she's very active in the day) but I work 2 days a week and I still get up in the night
Our house is hardly tidy, and when it is tidy it doesn't stay that way for long! We are both messy people and a child only makes it messier lol
In the day I play with her take her out and she only has one nap a day now, she climbs everything crawls everywhere and won't just chill so I never have time to tidy and he moans that its never clean
I say we'll you can help but he just says he's been at work
He never baths our girl and he don't make up bottles he wouldn't even know how many ounces she is on anymore do I have to do everything and I just can't cope
And when I have tidied he comes home and takes his shoes off in the middle of the lounge plays Xbox and asks me to make him tea

LadyKatherine Tue 10-Sep-13 16:06:23

I'm sorry but i think YABU. It isn't impossible to do a little tidying each day (during your DD's naptime would be perfect for this). That would help keep you on top of things. If you cant do it now then you will struggle later on down the line when your daughter is older and capable of making more mess.

Although in your defense, he does not have the right to slob about the place and expect you to be his skivvy. Nothing wrong with him putting his own shoes away when he comes home. Likewise, nothing wrong with him looking after your DD while you do something then if you haven't managed it in the day.

pipsqueakz Tue 10-Sep-13 16:06:29

You are so NOT being unreasonable. He's taking the p!ss. I would put my foot down and give him a massive ultimatum. How lazy! My disabled husband helps me out always as best he can you need to sort this otherwise it will break you I'm afraid.

Maybe next time he asks you to make him tea you could ask him to fuck off??

When you say he gets really angry how angry does he get? Tell him to get a bloody cleaner if it upsets him that much!

He sounds like a cock, does he have any good points?

CailinDana Tue 10-Sep-13 16:07:56

He's a dickhead. My Dh works the same hours does all the cooking and a fair bit of the housework. I mainly look after dd as she is breastfed he mainly looks after ds (2) when he's home. I get a lie in both days on the weekend as I do all the nights.

Sirzy Tue 10-Sep-13 16:09:24

You should both be doing your fair share of the housework and need to sit down and discuss who will do what.

That said, there are ways to get things done when you have a child. It is harder and jobs take a lot longer but its not impossible.

Why not both spend one saturday giving the house a really good clean and then its a case of having to keep on top of things meaning it won't be such a big job in future?

meditrina Tue 10-Sep-13 16:09:53

Is this about level of tidiness, or domestic control?

Calloh Tue 10-Sep-13 16:14:41

He's being unreasonable. YANBU.

If you can do a bit of tidying obviously that's great but any assumption that his day stops at five whereas your day is endless is ridiculously selfish.

I'm usually not a rota fan but I think if he works 9-5, 5 days a week and you work 2 days a week you need to formalise tasks (including bathing your DD and making up feeds) and see how that goes for a few weeks and then hopefully relax it. Try not to let resentment, on either side, build up.

CailinDana Tue 10-Sep-13 16:16:45

The tidiness isn't the issue. If he has a problem he can talk to you in a respectful way. As it stands he treats you like shit.

NatashaBee Tue 10-Sep-13 16:26:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pipsqueakz Tue 10-Sep-13 16:27:27

Agree with cailinDana he treating you like a mug.

pipsqueakz Tue 10-Sep-13 16:28:57

Sell the x box buy him a dyson

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