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Would I BU to just tell him what I think?

(15 Posts)
GreyWhites Wed 11-Sep-13 05:13:08

I'd definitely say something along the lines of yes it was very nice but that you found the level of contact unnecessary and inappropriate. Or, you know, ignore. He's obviously a bit mental.

AngryGnome Wed 11-Sep-13 04:39:56

I wouldn't leave any feedback on the website, but I would email him, cc-ing Owner's Direct, explaining that whilst the house was lovely, the behaviour of the owner was over-the-top and intrusive. Give examples - being asked to meet him for a drink before your holiday, calling you repeatedly, calling you late at night.

Both the owner and the agency need to know that this approach is off-putting to potential customers. Renting a holiday home is just a commercial transaction, the level of contact from the owner is inappropriate and I would be tempted to politely but firmly point this out.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Tue 10-Sep-13 22:57:29

On the feedback on the website, type "here is the feedback you requested when you phoned me late at night while you were drunk. Now please stop calling and emailing me."

elcranko Tue 10-Sep-13 22:50:52

How odd! Leave the feedback then send a quick email saying you've left the feedback, thanks again. If he calls again ignore him.

fabergeegg Tue 10-Sep-13 21:57:15

I would leave positive feedback. And send a one line email saying you're unable to call again as you have nothing more to add but may you wish him all the best in the future. Then if there is another one, another one liner saying circumstances do not allow you to enter into further contact, kind regards. Then disengage completely.

KirstyJC Tue 10-Sep-13 13:34:23

I would reply to the email stating briefly that you had a lovely holiday and liked the property but that you find his communication to be very over-familary and inappropriate for a commercial transaction and that you do not wish him to contact you again.

I would also copy in the managing agent to that email.

Don't leave neg feedback if that is about the house, since you said that was fine. But if there is any feedback to leave about the transaction then you could mention the overtly intrusive communications from him.

Listentomum Tue 10-Sep-13 13:29:43

Well he was leaving you in charge of a very vs.usble possession, maybe he found it difficult to let go and needed reactance his house was acceptable to you.

It doesn't like he me t any harm, maybe just a little more involved in the whole process. I would leave good feedback and send a slightly more constructive email to him along the lines of maybe stepping back from the process in future if he were to consider letting his mome out again.

fridgealwaysfull Tue 10-Sep-13 12:34:40

weird! I would just ignore it, I'm sure he'll stop contacting you, not sure I would leave negative feedback...he might know where you live and he sounds pretty odd

DietCherryColaPlease Tue 10-Sep-13 12:32:10

Yeah you're right. I forgot about option three: ignore!

I felt like maybe if he had some honest feedback it might help him improve the way he deals with the next person. But tbh it's not my problem to solve is it?

I'll leave it and I'd he contacts me one more time I'll tell him he's pissing me off.

TrueStory Tue 10-Sep-13 12:26:45

I agree, completely disengage.

I think one of the reasons women are sometimes "nice" when they don't feel like being nice - is a sense of vulnerability. This man knows where you live after all. ((though to be honest he does sound just drunken, lonely fool, but you never know).

Not all women feel vulnerable at times like that of course (think Carol on BB!), but for some women I think there is a basis in the reality of their lives. Please feel free to disagree with me.

My own experience, I just had a conversation with a woman today representing a company. She was really aggressive/rude in her tone and questions, and I just thought "ew, no, I don't want any of these people in my house" but I still carried on the conversation!!!!

Luckily, she said something even more rude, and I said I'd think about it and get back to her wink. It does take a while to learn these tricks/ways of engaging though.

canweseethebunnies Tue 10-Sep-13 12:18:39

YANBU. Sounds weird and annoying. Can you tell the agent to have a word?

WilsonFrickett Tue 10-Sep-13 12:17:04

He could just be eccentric, he could be very lonely, he could be a lot of things. But that's not your problem, is it? You've completed a commercial transaction with him, you now don't have to speak to him every again. So don't. Don't answer his calls, don't answer his emails, don't leave feedback. Just completely disengage.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 10-Sep-13 12:16:11


Be honest.

Honesty is good.


DietCherryColaPlease Tue 10-Sep-13 12:14:33

Sorry, that was long. It's just so weird I needed to get it all down!

DietCherryColaPlease Tue 10-Sep-13 12:14:02

Last month we went on holiday and rented a house via Owners Direct.

In the lead up to the holiday the owner (a man) rang me frequently under to 'see how my holiday plans were going' and to see if there was anything we needed.

It was a bit weird tbh. He'd phone on the weekends and stuff and the conversations would sometimes get personal - like he'd ask me about my job and stuff (I lied and told him I worked somewhere I don't!). And he'd suggested meeting for drink before we left so he could get to know us and tell us about the house, etc. He also seemed to be under the impression I was going to be staying there with my girlfriends. Even though I kept correcting him to say I'd be there with my family, he kept on about meeting up with me and 'my friends'. Needless to say I'd always decline.

It got on my nerves and I thought about cancelling. But the house was lovely and since he was in the UK and the house was abroad I figured once we were there it'd be fine.

Which it was. We had a lovely time. I did get one slightly shirty email from the owner saying 'I thought you would've been in touch with me before you left' which I thought was nuts, but apart from that, the managing agent over there looked after everything very well.

We're back now and last night about 9.30 I got another fucking call from the owner. He sounded shitfaced. Wanted to know how my holiday was and what I thought of the house. I couldn't be bothered to speak to him so pretended it was a bad line and hung up.

This morning I've got an email. Could I ring him today and also leave feedback on the website?

I feel like saying that the house was lovely but we've been really put off by the amount of unnecessary and slightly intrusive contact.

On the one hand I have in the back of my mind that MN thing if women being conditioned to be too nice and being afraid to call out bad behaviour for fear of not seeming polite. So I want to tell him what I think.

On the other hand I wonder whether he's just a bit eccentric and now that we've had our nice holiday maybe there's no point being negative.

What do you think?

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