DS 13 upset about no internet at night? AIBU or is he?

[fridgealwaysfull]

Hi
DS is 13 and has had a major tantrum tonight, he's still going on about it. DH and I have decided that it's not good for him to take his phone/ipod to bed and chat to his friends on snapchat/facetime etc til he decides to fall asleep. We've told him he can use the internet til 9.30pm and then it's off, he can either listen to music or read...aibu? he's reacted as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He's our eldest and I'm beginning to wonder if we've done the right thing

[cocolepew]

You're definitely doing the right thing.

[Chippednailvarnish]

13 and having a major tantrum?
It would be 6.30 with an attitude like that.

[Donnadoon]

Oh god you are definately doing the right thing! Do.Not.Back.Down.

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

I'd say no gadgets in bed, but I am cruel and old. Nowt wrong with a book. And I'm not plugged into my iPad 18 hours a day at all

[pianodoodle]

It's the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone ever.

In his mind anyway :)

But it isn't - and half nine is more than reasonable!

[bundaberg]

yanbu in the slightest.

in fact, i prob wouldn't let a 13 yr old be up on the internet til 9.30 either it's 1) too late and 2) not good for helping you wind down before sleep.

[Mabelface]

What chipped said! In fact, I'd be saying that his reaction says to me that he's getting a bit addicted so a bit of cold turkey may be in order. He'll soon wind his neck in if he thinks a total ban may be on the cards.

[JaneTennison]

Great idea, I don't think you are being OTT at all

[Bluestocking]

Definitely doing the right thing. Your job is to look after him, and that includes making it possible for him to get enough sleep. I wouldn't expect him to understand or sympathise with that, but he shouldn't be having a major tantrum. I agree with Chipped - if he behaves badly, the router gets turned off earlier for a week. He's got to learn to handle this.

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

You are very cruel.

And so am I.

Everything downstairs is the rule here.

[Donnadoon]

DH actually used to sleep with the hub under his pillow at one point it will be worth sticking to your guns
Even if you have to do it for a week.

[OwlMother]

We do this with ds 13 too. iPod and phone have to be left in the kitchen after about 8.30 and the deal is he reads for the 30-45 minutes before he turns his light off. They do need some kind of wind down. Stuck to your guns.

[Lweji]

He's 13.

Of course it's the worst thing.

Don't back down.

[Helpyourself]

fridge
I have the same problem. Honestly, I've failed to implement the no screens overnight rule. The hysterical tantrums, followed by the same the following day defeated me. Interestingly no-one IRL, and I know some real alpha/tiger parents have succeeded.
I'm watching this thread with interest. At present they have them in their rooms overnight and I nag, nag, nag about sleep hygiene, not being available to friends 24/7 and hope they self regulate.
My advice to anyone else? Resist 3G or greater for as long as possible.

[pointythings]

DD12 isn't allowed unsupervised Internet period. Devices stay downstairs at all times, and on school nights Internet use is for homework only. YANBU, stick to your guns.

[fridgealwaysfull]

Thanks to all of you! Glad IANBU. I did wonder whether maybe I was being too strict and old-fashioned. He's just gone upstairs now, came down to complain again about how hard we're being on him. If he comes down again I'll tell him if he carries on it'll be no internet from 9pm. Teenagers....much easier when he was a toddler...

[GingerBlackAndOriental]

I don't think kids that age should have internet access in their rooms anyway be it phone/laptop. Communal areas only.

[elastamum]

For some reason our internet stops working at night when I pull the plug out and we have no mobile phone signal. Bliss

[fridgealwaysfull]

I agree Ginger, our mistake to have let him take the ipod and his phone up to bed, we shouldn't have allowed it from the beginning, but at least I think that at 13. No way am I letting the other 2 DCs do this when they get phones. I suppose the only way is to turn the router off at 9.30, maybe we should have said that devices should be downstairs, but its too late to change that now....can't face another tantrum :(

[fridgealwaysfull]

sorry I'm not making sense! What I mean is that he's still young enough for us to start this

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

It's not difficult. Just take all tech off them.

[orangeandemons]

Oh God, I remember this, dh used to hide the router. Different place every night. The little sods still used to find it though....

[CHJR]

I am so glad to hear we ALL have this problem.
I do remember hiding under the bedclothes with a torch to read at that age but 'twas not like this. Here we're told not to put a TV/computer in DCs' room yet every phone is now both...and small enough to hide... And any minute now some idiot in California is going to invent a way to log on with a toothbrush "to make our lives easier"!