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According to FIL i am a selfish gobshite.

(109 Posts)
cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:42:31

For the past month i have been really ill. I had food poisoning, then a kidney infection leading onto thrush (yey) .
Today i could barely get out of bed because i felt so weak.

FIL turned up and because i didn't get out of bed at 9:30 i am a selfish gobshite!
I had been up most of the night with DD with a sickness bug and it looks like i'm getting it too. Dp and fil just got into the car and went to bil's house where according to Dp they sat and discussed how i make them feel unwelcome in our home.

Over the past year Dp has lost his job an decided that he wants a year out (that's another thread)
My mother has escaped an abusive relationship which caused no end of trouble.
We found out that my brother was addicted to prescription drugs.
I practically had a nervous breakdown.

I work, Dp doesn't. He sits his butt on the couch and doesn't really do much. He'll wash the pots and make dinner every night but that's about it.
On my days off i clean the house because if i don't it won't get done.

MIL comes on a monday as soon as i get in from work, we get a long great but her waving a cup at me as i'm taking my work jacket off pisses me off.

Dps brother pops in every night for 10-30mins for no reason in particular. He likes to come at tea time with his family which i find annoying.

His nan visits every saturday night without fail. Even if we tell her we have plans she bangs on the door.

Fil insists on spending saturday sat on my couch. Literally the whole day. This is the only day i have with my family because i work every other day. So i have asked the family if they might leave us on our own on that day.

They have all turned on me and i am very upset. FIL said he has washed his hands of me and i am a selfish gobshite.
Please tell me aibu?

p.s. My family don't visit because dp's family are always here and they get made to feel like they shouldn't be here. Even christmas day all of Dp's family turned up and stayed all day and even watched us eat our lunch.

YouTheCat Mon 09-Sep-13 07:20:00

I think I'd be a bit pissed off with people turning up and expecting me to be doing drinks etc as soon as I walk through the door from work.

There is no worse feeling that not being at ease in your own home.

I don't think I would be offering Christmas dinner to people who just turned up either. Different if they were invited.

pigletmania Mon 09-Sep-13 08:02:45

Fil would not be Welcome and as on Mumsnet, no is a complete sentance!

LadyEdith Mon 09-Sep-13 08:10:40

Rofl @:

Shut your pie hole

Fuck off this isn't a cafe

Kick him in the cock.

<<mentally stores for future use>>

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 18:53:50

I'm not the Wimpy. I have a budget and that doesn't include feeding anyone other than my family. That may sound mean but if Their son got off his large hoop and got a job then i might chuck a crumpet their way. Until then tough. We have one wage coming in so i can't be handing out food to every Tom, Dick and Harry who happen to be perched on my couch.

I don't understand why it would be considered rude for me not to offer some christmas dinner to them? I had bought enough for my family. Christmas dinner is expensive.
They have christmas dinner on boxing day so they can spend christmas day visiting family.

As for hospitality, i am to guests. Not to people who just turn up and use my home like a walk in centre.

I have come home today to find that Mil in residence with Sil dc's and all i want to do is sleep.

ChasedByBees Mon 09-Sep-13 19:08:25

Bloody hell. I'd actually LTB for this. I could not bear it.

YouTheCat Mon 09-Sep-13 19:56:03

Cooeey, if you get on with your mil well, could you have a quiet word with her and just say you'd like to come home and be able to have time to unwind before having to entertain guests and maybe have a few nights a week with no guests so you and your family can spend time together?

Or would that be the kind of thing to start her harumphing?

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 20:04:23

Mil has her set days visiting each one of her kids. Ours just happens to be on a monday. She doesn't like it if we go out because she feel like that is her day.
Apart from that we get on great.

YouTheCat Mon 09-Sep-13 20:05:25

I suppose one day a week isn't too bad.

Any sign of the rest of the freeloaders? grin

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 20:15:54

Mil is great don't get me wrong but i don't like the idea of having to have a set day.
Nobody else had turned up yet, i think Dp might of had words.

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