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To ask what you give/or not in terms of pocket money?

(114 Posts)
Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:22:34

Dd is nearly 11. When she is older we plan to give her a sort of allowance so that she can get used to managing money (treats, comics, milkshakes) but now, while she is still in primary school we are not sure what to give in terms of amount and wondered what you do. Also, do you give pocket money dependent upon chores/music practice etc?

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 11:08:04

Whereisegg, sorry I only just saw your post, I really like the no nagging caveat, that is exactly what I want to achieve! A nag free solution that promotes helping out.

Soontobesix, I will tell her that, my dp is a pilot, she wasthe first female capt in her country of birth (sorry, shameless boast!) So Dd is very keen to impress she wants a beret!

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 11:15:55

When I say giving extra I mean we are discussing whether to give her a larger amount whereby she uses it for treats such as chocolate or comics as well as trips to the cinema with her friend, birthday presents for friends etc or whether we should just give her a small amount but pay for those other things.

SoonToBeSix Sun 08-Sep-13 16:16:12

Lila well done to your dp, my dd loves her beret and uniform, she calls it retro grin

Akray Sun 08-Sep-13 16:32:38

picnic I'm with you, mine get no pocket money ~ just given money as and when they need it and if we've any spare cash DH puts it in their piggy banks x

Whereisegg Sun 08-Sep-13 17:04:19

Regarding bigger things that are unexpected eg does dd want to come to the cinema tomorrow, rather than next week, I would suggest a response of "I will pay for your ticket, if you would like extra cash for popcorn etc, you will need to * insert bigger job than usual here *" I think.

Whereisegg Sun 08-Sep-13 17:08:59

-when I say rather than next week, I mean that you could chat to her about saving/budgeting this weeks money for a treat the next.

I certainly wouldn't expect my dd to pay for a ticket £5.50 here, and popcorn & drinks, prob £6, if she had been spending her money on chocs and mags weekly and would be happy to help out.
Not on a weekly basis, perhaps a couple of times through the long holidays, and if she came in from the first trip saying "that was great, x film is out in 2/3 weeks and we want to see that, then actually I think I would expect to her to contribute more through not spending all her money in the weeks between iyswim.

my older DS's get bus money to get to school - 70p per trip so £7 per week, plus £3 for DS1 and £2 for DS2. They can get to school by walking/cycling, but it is 2 miles uphill, so usually get the bus.

However, they get to keep any money saved by getting themselves there, so DS1 usually makes at least £3.50 a week by walking home. He is 14, so has £6.50 most weeks to pay for CD's from charity shops (his taste is v retro) snack and drinks when out with his friends, cinema occasionally,etc etc.

DS2 usually busses with his friends and prefers 'virtual' money - we just keep count on the calendar and he spends when he has a chunk - like buying a pet snake plus viv, heat mat and supply of food last year!

Oh, and should have said, they both have chores not linked to pocket money - plus extra ones in the holidays. We pay phone contracts for them both, buy all clothes shoes and toiletries, but if they want a more expensive brand they pay the difference (eg lynx shampoo/shower gel rather than supermarket brands that we have).

prettymess Sun 08-Sep-13 18:08:55

None. DD is 12 and DS is 7. If they need anything, they can ask for money. DD especially just squanders pocket money.

girliefriend Sun 08-Sep-13 18:39:37

My dd is 7yo and doesn't get pocket money but does get money (£1) if she gets 10 gold stars (for behaviour/ chores/ working hard at school etc)

Also she gets lots spent on her, for example went to a fun day at local park today and she had a go on the bouncy castle, pony ride, ice cream, face paint etc

I also give her a small amount of spending money if we go on holiday.

I never had any pocket money growing up and have survived grin

madbengal Sun 08-Sep-13 19:21:36

Lila thanks

We have a 3 part system where she gets money for behaviour on a scale Excellent is £1 a day, Good and Okay is 50p, poor and unexceptable is zero. If she gets a full week of excellent she gets a bonus of £3 making it £10

Daily Housekeeping basically her room and bed she gets nothing for as its expected but if its not done she loses £1 per X

She then can earn an extra £1 per task she completes whether asked to or not from washing up, hoovering, dusting, tidying the living room, feeding the cats, cleaning bathroom, helping or making a meal etc

new week started today and she put out the washing and helped OH with spag bol so she has earnt an extra £2 already and she loves it

It was hard at first as we had never done anything like this and trial and error came into it but this works and she understands its upto her

madbengal Sun 08-Sep-13 19:23:59

Should say we had to make our system about behaviour first as turned into demon spawn on puberty shock

Taffeta Sun 08-Sep-13 19:58:32

DS (9) gets £2 per week paid direct into his bank account, for which he has a card. We used to give him cash but he prefers the account as he saves and generally buys bigger items eg football trainers, games etc.

DD (7) doesn't get any yet. We will start hers when she's 8.

If we are out and they want a magazine, I will get them both one, but DS usually wants 2 so he buys one from his own money.Similarly if the one DD chooses is more expensive that's ok as she doesn't get pocket money.

TBH I've never really felt able to afford to give them pocket money on top of everything else ! Luckily they often get given money for birthday and achievements from DGPs and others.
And I do give dd something if she's going into town with friends or to buy a few pressies for friends and family at Christmas - she finds great bargains for everyone in the charity shops and is such a sweet gift buyer smile
DS more likely to save his up and buy a new game thing.
I think we operate more on a "if you need something then just ask" basis and it seems to work well enough for now.

Debs75 Sun 08-Sep-13 22:05:09

DD1 is 17 and at college so she gets £20 per week to go alongside her bursary of £50 a month. £130 per month sounds a huge amount but this is for everything, snacks, dinners, travel, going out, gifts for friends and family and her toiletries. I buy her clothes but that is it. I have told her she needs to budget better as when she goes to Uni next year it is highly likely she will only have this amount and have to include all her food.

DS 14 is disabled and doesn't spend money. We treat him and probably spend anything upto £10 per week which is what we gave DD1 at that age.

DD2 is 5 and she gets £1 per week in her money box which she can spend every so often. We save £15 per month in a CTF for her

DD3 is 3 and she also gets £1 per week as DD2. She has £70 in there as a) she has just had her birthday and b) she likes to liberate pennies from my purse and post them into her money box.

They don't get sweets whenever they like or magazines tat but we do treat them. I think 5 and 3 is way too early to teach them about saving, that will come later, maybe at 7-8ish

lljkk Sun 08-Sep-13 22:06:46

Gosh some of these are complicated.
There was a recent study that said that avg UK teen gets £6 or £7/week. But didn't say how much of that was tied to chores or behaviour. Or whether they had to pay for things like phone & bus fare out of it. So I am none the wiser what is truly normal.

My 11yo gets £11 each month, not tied to chores & rarely tied to behaviour. It's pure fun spending, I pay for nearly all types of extras. She can earn extra £ doing jobs (never does jobs).

Vickisuli Sun 08-Sep-13 22:36:31

My kids only get 20p a week from their grandma!!! (they are only 3,5 and 7) plus I give my eldest extra (up to a couple of quid) for doing any extra jobs eg washing car etc, and for doing her maths practice without making a fuss (this is extra maths not school work!)

Every few weeks they go to a toy shop near us and buy a little pocket money toy with their money. I wouldn't want to give them more than that as I know they would spend on nonsense, and it's still my money when it comes down to it. So I would rather buy them toys/treats that I think are good value when I see them.

I don't think they actually need any money - I pay for anything that they need, and for treats as and when I think they deserve them. It's more about understanding that things cost money, and so even to buy a little £2 toy they have to save up their pennies.

When they are older I will have to think more about how I deal with things like phones, clothes, shoes etc. At the moment they are happy to wear whatever I buy them (often from charity shops), and accept it if i say we can't buy something as it's too expensive. I think when they are old enough to actually feel the need to spend money, I would rather put a small amount of money in an account for them, strictly for extras/fun stuff, but still buy most of their stuff myself.

moanymum Sun 08-Sep-13 23:20:29

I've given mine a monthly allowance straight into their bank accounts since they were about 10. Started at £30 month, went up to £50 at 14- that's for all trips out etc and for anything other than necessary clothes (which we will buy). Son goes through his a lot quicker, he likes to spend, but if it's done, it's done. The fact that it's in the bank means it's less accessible, although they can use their debit card. Daughter is much more sensible, and puts a lot of hers into an ISA since she turned 16. I'm often tempted when son asks for train fare into town to give him it, but he won't learn if I do, so I think the harder line is worth it. Friends thought that was a lot until I asked what they gave their kids if they were going out and at £10 or more a time it soon adds up.

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 23:21:47

Thanks everyone, this has been such interesting reading. So many great ideas. I talked to dp today about giving Dd a basic rate of £10 a month into her account but the opportunity to earn more via jobs around the house (thank you madbengal and others!) . Then we talked to Dd about it and she was very excited. Whether she will do the extras I have no idea. We agreed that bedroom tidying, violin practice and homework was a given. We shall she how it goes, thanks again, this has been so useful.

Btw Soontobesix, that is uncanny! That is exactly what my Dd said about the air cadets she saw who were martialling at a county show recently!

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 23:24:45

I agree with you moanymum, we intend to start a sort of allowance in a year or two. I really want her to start learning to manage her money. I am amazed and impressed at your Dd putting money into an ISA! Brilliant!

bababababoom Sun 08-Sep-13 23:49:07

My ds (6) gets £3 a week, linked to jobs at home (putting away clothes when asked, sweeping the floor - I don't care how well he does it, just that he makes the effort, and he likes the responsibility). I started pocket money to give him an idea of having to save, and why we can't buy everything he wants, and he is getting the idea of working out change etc.

DiddyLady Sun 08-Sep-13 23:51:01

DS1 13 gets £10
DD1 12 gets £10
DD2 10 gets £5
DS 2 8 gets £3
DD 3 6 gets £3
All weekly. For that they all have to keep their rooms tidy, make beds bring washing down etc. They load and empty the dishwasher after meals and a few other chores as and when needed. I buy all clothes and toiletries. They have to save spending money for holidays, and days out.

5upernanny Sun 08-Sep-13 23:54:29

Busy household so if my 14 year old son does his share of pitching in (depending on his study timetable) he receives £10 weekly. This can be less if we agree he has not pitched in or has had to be told/ asked repeatedly or if I have had to do 'his tasks'.
He can also earn more doing extra chores without having to be prompted and we put £10 in savings which means he contributes to school trips, holiday spending, or larger purchases.
He also has to take care of his lunch money and if he over spends this he has to use his pocket money to top it up.
He seems to manage it well and save for items he wants to buy or heading out with friends to cinema etc.

SupermansBigRedPants Mon 09-Sep-13 01:12:43

Dd1 is only 8 and we still buy everything she needs plus paying for her to go to breakfast club at school to see her older friends she can't play with at playtime spoilt monkey but dp lets her keep change from the shop for sweets or gives her the change from his pockets for school tuck shop. It mounts up, I think once she is at high school we'll just give her a tenner at the weekend and be done with it!

Beastofburden Mon 09-Sep-13 02:03:03

Thinking about earnests post. It can be difficult to teach kids to do the various things they will need. Sometimes money is not going to be the right motivator for some of the kids.

I never remembered to give any of mine their pocket money. DS1 used to complain from time to time and present me with an invoice. but it was a highly mean amount, i think he got 10 p per year of life per week, in theory.

Somehow, not quite sure how, the older two have grown up with good money sense anyway. Ds1 is at Uni so not my problem any more financially. Dd is at fe college, so no student loan, and I give her £50 a month plus she can raid the fridge for a free packed lunch, though I am not buying specially for it.

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