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to think that girls only parties at 3 are not the norm?

(273 Posts)
Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 18:47:44

I have a 3 year old boy and there is a party for one of the girls at his nursery. The nursery only has 8 kids in his area. They do all their activities together and get on well (as well as 3-4 year old do!). All 6 girls have been invited to one of the girls party but neither boys have been invited because apparently "the party is just for girls and will have a girly theme"

AIBU to think that party invites by gender are not the norm for this age and just help to start the whole boys are different thing. I can't put my finger on it but it just doesn't feel right to me.

pongping Sat 07-Sep-13 18:48:42

God, how unspeakably depressing.


TeaLadyExtraordinaire Sat 07-Sep-13 18:51:19

She'll probably serve them pink Muller Yoghurts grin

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 18:52:12

tealady grin

NoComet Sat 07-Sep-13 18:57:40

Not the norm, but they would have been a lot easier.

Memories of fairy and pirate plates, convincing DDs that under the sea or jungle themes were good and hoping the few boys there when they were older wouldn't mind hearts.

Avoiding gender theming parties without DDs noticing and complaining they wanted fairies etc. is fairly easy at 3, but it gets rapidly harder.

cece Sat 07-Sep-13 18:58:58

My 4 year old had a boys only party. biscuit

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 07-Sep-13 19:00:06

Perhaps it's just a way to cut down on numbers?

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 19:01:13

I am interested to know whether that excluded a few or half a class or was it just close friends?

scaevola Sat 07-Sep-13 19:01:33

Perhaps the parents need to limit numbers, and felt that basing it on sex was preferable to making a more obvious statement about who their DC likes or not (given that it changes every week anyhow).

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 19:02:32

I am fairly sure that numbers wouldn't be cut down for space or financial reasons.

lunar1 Sat 07-Sep-13 19:02:57

My four year old Spider-Man loving ds is more than happy to eat cake from a pink fairy plate.

wonderingsoul Sat 07-Sep-13 19:03:35

i think its pretty sad, esp if they are good friend with the boys,

even a princess theme can include boys being prince's. and im sure there was girl pirates..even if they had to pretend ot be men!

but maybe the birthday girl only wanted the people who where there..and it jusy happened to be all girls?

cardibach Sat 07-Sep-13 19:03:51

Bu Star why would small boys object to fairies? How do they know it is girly ?
<plays Devil's advocate>

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 19:03:56

I would also add that would 2 more really make that much difference anyhow.

GoldenGytha Sat 07-Sep-13 19:04:03

My elder daughter had parties with both boys and girls.

My younger one always had girls only ones, she only had friends that were female til she was about 7.

I don't see a problem with girls/boys only parties.

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 19:05:31

I would put money on it that the party girl didn't choose the guest list because they all play together and she plays quite a bit with the other boy.

OutragedFromLeeds Sat 07-Sep-13 19:08:54


We've never had or been invited to a single sex party, always been mixed and that's 4 DC's worth of parties (eldest is 9).

They've been a few single sex birthday outings, but that's understandable when you can only invite 3/4 closest friends.

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 19:09:31

Can I ask GoldenGytha and others who don't see a problem with it,

if it was 8 girls and 6 were invited and 2 were excluded would that be ok?

Just curious to know not trying to argue

missmapp Sat 07-Sep-13 19:12:20

No, we've never had a single sex party( two ds' here) Ds2 had his 6th party this week and chose to invite a mix of boys and girls- didn't change the 'theme'.

Ds1 had just come back from a 9th party which was boys and girls and is quite happy with his pink sweety party bag ( sugar is sugar after all)

FourGates Sat 07-Sep-13 19:12:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UniS Sat 07-Sep-13 19:13:07

Its not very unusual. Parents decide they only want o have X number of children with X being all the girls( or all the boys) or they decide on a sparkly pink theme and thinks boys won't like it. Its pity, but not worth getting your knickers in a twist about. The kids all play together when they are at nursery together and that will continue regardless of who goes to a birthday party.

Redpipe Sat 07-Sep-13 19:15:14

So Unis would mind answering my earlier question.

If it was 8 girls and 2 were excluded would that be ok?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 07-Sep-13 19:17:24

I hate this. My DD has been excluded from a number of her very best friends parties at age 4 and 5 because they're boys and their parents arranged "boys" parties. Utterly stupid.

SirChenjin Sat 07-Sep-13 19:17:33

YANBU. If it was a number thing then fair enough but that doesn't sound like the case here, and so to start genderising parties and themes at such a young age and excluding those children who don't have the requisite genitals is just sad.

NiceTabard Sat 07-Sep-13 19:17:34

No I think that is odd. The idea of segregating by sex at 3 is utterly depressing.

I also don't understand why you need a gendered theme at 3, TBH. Ours always had mixed parties and it was pass the parcel, musical statues, bubble machine in the garden and running around. All the children enjoyed themselves.

Why are some people so red hot keen on segregating, creating and enforcing "difference"? Especially with toddlers for crying out loud.

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