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AIBU?

To not go out tonight as dd has a tummy bug?

23 replies

goldenlula · 07/09/2013 13:18

We were due to go out to a wedding reception tonight but on Thursday evening dc3 (2) started with diarrhoea. Other than school runs yesterday (which I had to do as no be else to do them) we stayed in, as I always do with such illnesses. Dc3 was fine all day, no sickness and no more diarrhoea so thought they would be able to go to my parents as planned and we coud go out.
Fast forward to this morning and dh gets dc3 out of her cot and at some point during the night she had been a little bit sick, then I took her nappy off and she had a little diarrhoea in it, then she used the toilet and had diarrhoea. I phoned dh at this point (he had left for work) and told him that as she clearly has a bug I couldn't send her to my parents so we couldn't go tonight. He got a bit and asked if I took dd round to my parents yesterday, I hadn't and after 7 years (ds1 is 7) he should know I am very strict about passing germs around so will not take the children out unless absolutely necessary when they have bugs (school run only normally). I have phoned my parents to let them know and while I think if I had been desperate to go they would have had them, it would have been under duress, and they are both not in great health themselves an I think it would be UR to ask them to. I feel dh thinks I am being over protective and UR not to wait and see how dd is later, but even if she has stopped with the diarrhoea she would still be contagious. So, although I won't be changing the arrangements as my parents have hospital appointments this week that they will not want to cancel and are off on holiday next weekend I just wondered if I was being unreasonable?

OP posts:

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landrover · 07/09/2013 13:22

I think that you prob are a little unreasonable, kids go down with this sort of bug all the time! I think if dc3 is unhappy and feeling poorly then you should stay with her, but if she is reasonably ok in herself then you should go to wedding reception xxx

AnneUulmelmahay · 07/09/2013 13:23

Yanbu

It is unfortunate but you are minimising possible contagion. D and or V in older people can be devastating for their health.

Plus the B and G will thank you for not carrying a contagious virus to their event.

littlemisswise · 07/09/2013 13:25

YANBU you are being very sensible.

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 07/09/2013 13:25

I think you are doing the right thing. I am the same with illness and don't like to spread germs.

Especially as your parents are going away next weekend. You would feel awful if they became ill before their holiday.

So YANBU

Finola1step · 07/09/2013 13:27

Absolutely agree with AnneUulmelmahay.

It's unfortunate that you can't go. I wish more people would stay at home when d and v strike! Hope your dc is feeling better very soon.

Dillydollydaydream · 07/09/2013 13:27

YANBU. I'd do the same as you. You don't want dps to catch the bug if they're due to go away. Can dh go on his own?

squoosh · 07/09/2013 13:28

YANBU.

You're not being over protective, you're being considerate of your parents and their health.

mrsjay · 07/09/2013 13:30

YANBU I think you are being sensible you dont want your mum and dad getting it too, stomach bugs are miserable and really should be contained as much as possible, I know your dh was looking forward to his night out but these thinhs happen

goldenlula · 07/09/2013 13:32

landrover as awful as this may sound, for me it isn't about dd being ill as I know she would be well cared for by my parents but about protecting my parents from coming down with it as far as I can. I never take the children to my parents or in laws or anyone else's when the have tummy bugs, I stay home.

OP posts:

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 07/09/2013 13:34

Ask your parents how they feel?

mrsjay · 07/09/2013 13:35

I wouldnt send a child to a babysitter if i could help it ill I don't think it is fair on people, you are doing the right thing imo

goldenlula · 07/09/2013 13:37

I think the problem for dh is that as I am a sahm these things rarely affect him, he still goes to work obviously, where as I am used to cancelling my plans (had to cancel a trip to an indoor play area yesterday for instance). We have been lucky that on the odd occasion that we go out the children haven't been ill.
He could go himself but it is a 45 min drive away and we only know the b and g as far as I know (they are neighbours a few doors away that we are friendly with).

OP posts:

everlong · 07/09/2013 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsize · 07/09/2013 13:40

Not unreasonable at all. Totally unreasonable to expect other people to look after your children in these circumstances. And I wouldn't want to be at a party with your germs!
This sort of thing is just what we do when we become parents I guess. Lots of sacrifices but look at the joys!
There was a very irresponsible mum who brought her two kids to baby weighing the other day - neither was 24hrs clear of similar bug.

Catsize · 07/09/2013 13:41

Your husband could be carrying it too though. Quarantine for the weekend me thinks. Big cross painted on the door.

BalloonSlayer · 07/09/2013 13:46

Good for you!

I'd be most unimpressed if I'd offered to have a child for a night (even a beloved grandchild) and found out that they had D&V.

Changing other people's kids' nappies is bad enough, coping with diarrhoea is something else!

YANBU

goldenlula · 07/09/2013 14:21

Ilet as I said, if I really pushed my mum would have had them, but only because she loves having them and wouldn't want to let me down but I feel that would be unfair of me to do that. Seems I am not being unreasonable though!

OP posts:

Maryann1975 · 07/09/2013 14:32

You are correct in what you are doing. I am always shocked by the amount of people who think it is ok to pass their germs (be it a sickness bug, chicken pox, flu, viral infections) on to other people. Just because you are ill doesn't mean everyone wants to be. You are being very considerate to your parents in not sending you dc and I wish more people were like you.

dingledongle · 07/09/2013 14:35

YANBU it is a shame that more people are not so considerate.

It would be awful if your older relatives caught it and had further complications, at least way you have tried to contain it.

Sorry for you that you miss your night out though.....

kerstina · 07/09/2013 16:17

Yes totally in agreement with you wanting to protect your parents and best for sick child to be with you and her dad at home. Your husband is the unreasonable one.

heartisaspade · 07/09/2013 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vix206 · 07/09/2013 17:09

Definitely not being unreasonable. Your children come first, I wouldn't leave mine if they were poorly. And also you're minimising the exposure of the germs.

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idiot55 · 07/09/2013 17:11

I wish everyone thought like you would make my child's life easier ( immune system issues) these bugs can kill the vulnerable, no exaggeration

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