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to think if this isn't an act of treason, it bloody well should be?

(66 Posts)
WestieMamma Fri 06-Sep-13 22:36:53

I don't live in the UK.

Recently a new cafe/restaurant has opened up near me. A British one! We decided to go there for a treat today. I ordered a Devonshire (hmm) cream tea and WestiePappa wanted fish'n'chips.

My cream tea came with Swedish tea (I think Lipton's collect used teabags in England, dry them and then resell them in Sweden), 2 nice looking scones, strawberry jam and ... wait for it ... SQUIRTY CREAM! That's right, bloody squirty cream. A complete abomination in Britain name.

The fish and chips involved French fries and what appeared to be a giant fish shaped budget fish finger. The forrin waiter tried to convince us that it wasn't what we were expecting because it was haddock and us being Brits are used to cod hmm. The British owner came out, realised immediately that this betrayal of her country was up, was very embarassed and gave us back our money.

Bring back hanging I say.

TylerHopkins Fri 06-Sep-13 22:38:32

shock disgraceful.


bumpybecky Fri 06-Sep-13 22:38:54


CharityFunDay Fri 06-Sep-13 22:39:53

Firebomb them without delay.

runningonwillpower Fri 06-Sep-13 22:40:26

Hanging's too good for them.

Castrate the lot of them.

Smoorikins Fri 06-Sep-13 22:40:33

Some of 'us Brits' much prefer haddock to cod. There isn't much demand for cod in chip shops hereabouts!

Other than that - YANBITSBU

(you are not being in the slightest bit unreasonable)

AmpullaOfVater Fri 06-Sep-13 22:41:10


Oh dear. I also live abroad and I can just imagine your disappointment.

Is it that hard to find cream in Sweden?

marzipanned Fri 06-Sep-13 22:41:26

I am disturbed to report that the squirty cream abomination has happened to me IN THE UK.

Doodledumdums Fri 06-Sep-13 22:41:52

Good god...have you told the Queen yet? I suggest you do post haste. Action must be taken!!

AlpacaPicnic Fri 06-Sep-13 22:43:35

Squirts cream? Like....from a can?

::clutches pearls::

That is sooooo wrong...

NorksAreMessy Fri 06-Sep-13 22:43:59

This is utterly dreadful!

For just £2 a month we could keep you in proper PGtips, £2 a month will buy this poor expat family a tub of Rhoddas, some WI jam. £2 a moth will supply some chips and curry sauce with mushy peas in a polystyrene cup on the side. sad

Now make us jealous and talk about herring

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 06-Sep-13 22:44:25

STRAWBERRY JAM?? shock shock shock shock shock shock shock
Bloody forriners!

NorksAreMessy Fri 06-Sep-13 22:45:32

Actually, westie I am so disturbed that I will send you PGtips , if you Pm me your address.

I don't think I will sleep well tonight

DevonCiderPunk Fri 06-Sep-13 22:46:12

Squirty cream?!


That is not remotely proper job.

WestieMamma Fri 06-Sep-13 22:46:46

Fermented baltic herring, mmmmm. Local delicacy otherwise know as rotting fish.

SeaSickSal Fri 06-Sep-13 22:48:44

Military strikes. Boots on the ground everything.

If we don't strike now they will be selling chilled bitter next.

LookingForwardToSalmon Fri 06-Sep-13 22:48:54

There are no words for what should be done to those bastards!

Next they will be serving it with marg instead of butter!

The worlds gorn mad!!!

MurderOfGoths Fri 06-Sep-13 22:50:25


queenofdrama Fri 06-Sep-13 22:50:36

A starving child in the developing world (or here in poverty stricken UK) would happily eat what you've described. I personally don't mind drinking water, squirty cream & paddock, but then again I'm not British. (Thank f n god)

Pixel Fri 06-Sep-13 22:50:38

We have been on the receiving end of the squirty cream abomination in England so that now we ask what the cream is before we order. If squirty cream we beat a hasty retreat.

DevonCiderPunk Fri 06-Sep-13 23:03:16

Squirty cream is all right on a knickerbocker glory, a hot chocolate or a banana split, but it must not touch baked goods.

Straight into the gob from the can is fine, too. But not on a scone.

LegoDragon Fri 06-Sep-13 23:30:37

Shocking shock

And I can relate to the herring. <shudders> (Pickled herring is disgusting for me. And surströmming stuff. DH is Swedish and we lived there for a bit and then we moved to a place which also lived on herring).

Round here, food is either muskox (ugh) or herring. You get muskox and chips at the 'British' pub and tea is also scented herbal stuff which the owner admits is from Italy confused

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 06-Sep-13 23:34:40

Could be worse........................could be Dream Topping grin

Grumpywino Fri 06-Sep-13 23:35:58

A care package must be delivered at once. Clotted cream and PG Tips to be delivered by emergency helicopter! Don't even consider a bacon buttie till the drop has been made.

Elsiequadrille Fri 06-Sep-13 23:40:52

Yuk to squirty cream.

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