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to have taken kids to visit brother

(36 Posts)
epic78 Fri 06-Sep-13 20:06:35

On one of the final days of the school holidays I took our dc to visit my brother. I admit I had seen him earlier in the holidays too but it has been a rough year due to a family bereavement.
Dh got really ranty about this. Basically moaning that
"this was another day where nothing gets done in the house and that I shouldd do my job during the week so we can have family time at the weekend"
I accept that as a sahm I should do all the childcare and as much housework as possible during the day whilst dh is at work.
However, surely a day out in the school holidays comes under this remit.
Incidentky I also do bulk of chikdcare and housework evenings and weekends too .
Aibu to have got really upset with him over this.

BuskersCat Tue 10-Sep-13 14:29:03

You need to practice the phrase

'go fuck yourself' grin

epic78 Tue 10-Sep-13 14:27:43

Sorry in two week holiday.

epic78 Tue 10-Sep-13 14:27:06

Thank you. Did get abit of a break in holidays.

MissMalonex2 Sat 07-Sep-13 14:39:52

He's being a twat. Tell him to pay for a cleaner or do it himself

I think the SAHP has a greater responsibility for looking after the children than the working parent.
Everything else (cooking, housework) should be negotiable between the couple as a partnership.
Even raising the children is still a partnership too, with the working person making their contribution in the evenings and at weekends.
A few days out during the summer with the children is essential to a happy "holiday" for all.
My DH could be more supportive during the holidays too. They just don't get what a big change it is do they ?
- especially for you with a baby.

Hope your 2 week holiday was some sort of break for you - you sound amazing smile

epic78 Sat 07-Sep-13 14:14:32

Thank you. Also had a 2 week holiday in that time whole family.
Certainly reconsidering our future at the mo.

Gretagumbo Fri 06-Sep-13 22:12:57


Jengnr Fri 06-Sep-13 22:01:34

Tell him to fuck off.

Your job is to look after and entertain the children. Yes, the SAH parent has a greater responsibility for housework but not to the extent the other is allowed to be a complete cunt about it.

DuelingFanjo Fri 06-Sep-13 21:48:48

Stop doing his laundry.

Sparklymommy Fri 06-Sep-13 21:45:39

My house IS a pit. But only because the holidays have been full of days out/ kids have been playing and their are 8 of us. However, with 4 adults and 4 kids in the house, all the washing has been done, ironing done and everyone's been fed and bathed regularly.

Next week, when the kids are back at school, the BIG CLEAN will commence. and probably end the week before the Christmas hols begin therefore just in time for the kids to mess it up again!!!

upanddown83 Fri 06-Sep-13 21:45:23

That is not a nice way to live a friend of mine recently left my house in the middle of an afternoon visit to go home and hang out the washing as her dp would have given her a hard time if it wasn't done!
I couldn't believe or understand it the only time my dp mentions housework or the mess of the house is when he can't fit anything else in the laundry basket grin or he falls over the kids toys (I tell him to look where he is going)
Yes you are a sahm but you are not a cleaner or housekeeper!

Sirzy Fri 06-Sep-13 21:07:50

So one day a week. The poor kids must have been going crazy let alone anything else.

runningonwillpower Fri 06-Sep-13 20:47:20

Fucking hell.

Just that.

NatashaBee Fri 06-Sep-13 20:45:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

epic78 Fri 06-Sep-13 20:44:38

Well fullish days.

epic78 Fri 06-Sep-13 20:43:33

Probably about 7 full days and bits and pieces here and there. Dc are 9 6 and 1

WafflyVersatile Fri 06-Sep-13 20:40:03

How many weekday days out did you have over the holidays? And how old are your DC?

Sirzy Fri 06-Sep-13 20:38:50

So does he seriously expect you to stay in all day every day cleaning?

StanleyLambchop Fri 06-Sep-13 20:32:15

The house is not a pit. Although at times it is untidy and cluttered due to toys etc.

The school holidays are only just over. Most parents will be in the same boat. You wait until school gets back, then start on the tidying. Standards have to slip during the holidays. It is no big deal to a reasonable person!

Snapespeare Fri 06-Sep-13 20:31:35

So very sorry for the loss of your parents and your cousin. He knows that means he and the children is all you have in terms of family. I suspect he thinks your world should revolve around him?

Mamafratelli Fri 06-Sep-13 20:28:11

So you are supposed to stay in cleaning all day? Is your house in a real state or is he just a complete idiot.

epic78 Fri 06-Sep-13 20:27:33

Thank you. Sadly my parents have passed away. He got on ok with them when alive but tbh he didn't see alot of them.
Bereavement was a cousin.
The house is not a pit. Although at times it is untidy and cluttered due to toys etc. Laundry also an issue with a family of 5.
He does occasionally load dishwasher at weekend and cook odd weekend meal. Also does diy and garden but thats about it.
I also do virtually all baby care 24/7 as still waking at night.
Not impressed at the moment tbh.

Squitten Fri 06-Sep-13 20:27:19

Your DH sounds like a controlling arse.

Taking kids out and about in the holidays is part of your job! You sound guilty for seeing your own brother - so what if you'd seen him before?

What exactly does he do around the house? I'm guessing sweet FA...

StanleyLambchop Fri 06-Sep-13 20:22:18

Taking the children out during the holidays absolutely counts as 'doing your job'. Or does he want the poor children to sit in the house amusing themselves whilst you are tied to the housework? Does he not want them to enjoy their holiday? I would tell him where to stuff the housework. YANBU in any sense .

CHJR Fri 06-Sep-13 20:19:19

"Nothing gets done in the house" for one day? Do you live in Buckingham Palace or does someone have wildly out of whack expectations? In our house it would be eminently possible to have a day to visit family in the week and still do some family time at the weekend! But I am a layabout, I admit...

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