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To think that this 6th Form Dress Code is wrong.

(237 Posts)
alistron1 Thu 05-Sep-13 18:30:34

DD1's 6th Form has a strict dress code of business/office wear. They have to look smart - which is fine.

This week it's been really hot, yesterday DD1 wore 'bare legs' with her very modest skirt suit. She got told off - initially for wearing flesh coloured tights (tights should be black) and was referred to the dress code which she brought home for me to read.

It contains this line:

"This is a mixed environment with particular implications for the way in which female students should dress."

AIBU to complain about this statement?

Rufus43 Thu 05-Sep-13 19:28:31

alistron1 I had a massive ran on a night out on Friday saying exactly the same thing, no mention of boys giving the unwanted attention

And then to person I was talking to said "when I drive past I see all the men staring" so why should my daughter modify her dress!

merrymouse Thu 05-Sep-13 19:31:59

Also, presumably the rest of the school is allowed to wear socks and bare legs?

What do they do if they play netball?

diddl Thu 05-Sep-13 19:35:12

All else aside-why black tights & not just tights?

Black tights with a summer dress/skirt-lovely!hmm

I'm 50 & we didn't have a dress code for the 6th form-seems ridiculous to me.

Actually, I think we were supposed to be smart.

A lot of us wore a skirt for the first couple of days-mine was denim-& then it was into the jeans-skinny iirc.

Nothing changes, does it?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Thu 05-Sep-13 19:35:29

OP - That's outrageous. You need to complain and show them that link above from cherry219 (thank you btw - that is one of the best things I've read on the subject).

Complete non-issue but black tights are NOT more businesslike than beige/tan/skin/whatever you choose to call it. When I worked in the "City" it was sheer beige tights every day. Coloured or black tights were a no-no. I wore trouser suits sometimes (navy, gray or black only) and even that was revolutionary.

Just as strict for men though - black, navy or gray suit, black shoes with laces. Never brown shoes. Never slip ons or buckles or penny loafers.

This was all unwritten and largely unspoken although it was - god - 20 years ago!

YoniMatopoeia Thu 05-Sep-13 19:40:03

Dh says they obviously have low opinion of the male students then.

It is outrageous. Do challenge it.

grumpyoldbat Thu 05-Sep-13 19:44:23

There's nothing wrong with flesh coloured tights. I used to wear them to work. I now tend to wear trousers though.

alistron1 Thu 05-Sep-13 19:45:43

Cherry - thank you for that link smile

I've got to challenge this haven't I?

eurochick Thu 05-Sep-13 19:47:46

I'm bare legged at my law firm today. It is a (very) mixed environment. I don't appear to have given anyone the vapours yet...

archfiend Thu 05-Sep-13 19:49:55

That is bloody awful! We had a similar dress code when I was at sixth form mumble mumble years ago. I once got told off for 'provoking young boys' whilst wearing a short skirt; when I wore I long skirt I was told off for being a fire hazard so I couldn't bloody win! grin

ZeroTolerance Thu 05-Sep-13 19:53:08

I don't like that link at all. The author sounds a bit creepy himself. FGS, will he have the same discussion with his daughter? Or are girls so lacking in sexual desires they never look at boys in that way?

I particularly cringed at the idea that "women's bodies are beautiful, wonderful and mysterious". Ha ha. Seriously? What exactly is this guy's agenda?

Bit anyway, with regards the OP, you definitely need to take the school to task over that statement.

littlemisswise Thu 05-Sep-13 19:56:08

The statement is obviously ridiculous and I would challenge it.

I don't actually see a problem with them saying the girls should wear tights tbh. For all those saying it is uncomfortable in this weather, imagine just how uncomfortable the boys are in suit trousers.

I would like to see some sort of dress code at DS2's 6th form. When I dropped him off yesterday there were boys with horrible slogans on t-shirts, boxers on show and girls with their arse cheeks hanging out of the bottom of their shorts!

CHJR Thu 05-Sep-13 20:00:53

OP's school's message sounds just like RL, implying women should think of others in how they dress.
Totally unacceptable; aren't they supposed to be making our DD feel secure and free, and setting a good example to our DS?
Even if you have to give in to school make sure DD knows you disagree. (Believe me, that's not something I'd say lightly!)

Talkinpeace Thu 05-Sep-13 20:03:40

The school were very, very silly to put that DEEPLY SEXIST phrase into their parents' evening powerpoint which is very easy to find online .....

specific mentions of cleavage and midriffs ....

missmapp Thu 05-Sep-13 20:03:43

I am a teacher and I had bare legs with a modest skirt today, nobody questioned the 'implications' this would cause to my male students!!

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 05-Sep-13 20:04:04

I worked somewhere where bare legs were "frowned upon". Ridiculous! hmm

ZeroTolerance Thu 05-Sep-13 20:04:54

good point littlemiss, there are often threads on here objecting to being told to cover shoulders/legs in the office - but men always have to abide by these rules, don't they? In offices I mean.

School's statement is still completely out of order - and sexist.

littlemisswise Thu 05-Sep-13 20:06:46

I just mentioned this to DS2 and he said he would challenge that statement if he went to that Sixth form. It's disgusting to think so little of the male students.

Talkinpeace Thu 05-Sep-13 20:06:47

This is a mixed environment, with particular implications for the way in which female students should dress. As such, cleavage, midriffs and underwear should not be on show; trousers and skirts should not be inappropriately tight; skirts should not be worn higher than mid-thigh and tights should not be flesh-coloured.

lifted directly from the powerpoint

I'll not name the school, but that powerpoint is so up itself its actually funny

burberryqueen Thu 05-Sep-13 20:09:39

ah go on go on go on

Talkinpeace Thu 05-Sep-13 20:10:30

google the phrase in inverted commas .....

Vivacia Thu 05-Sep-13 20:12:04

I would send a brief email saying that you support the dress code in principle. However, you would like clarification on this part and a bit more detail about what the implications are a) due to it being a mixed environment and b) for the way females dress.

Keep it very polite and just asking for detail.

Vivacia Thu 05-Sep-13 20:13:59

I think we should be careful not to identify the OP and her daughter everybody

Talkinpeace Thu 05-Sep-13 20:15:29

I will not.
But I am shocked that a school in the British Isles thinks such language is appropriate in 2013.

ILoveAFullFridge Thu 05-Sep-13 20:27:25

I imagine that the boys would not be allowed to wear shorts, so expecting the girls to keep the legs covered seems perfectly reasonable to me, if you're treating the sexes equally. But insisting on black tights is not appropriate. That is just not smart, modest, business attire.

And the phrase about considering the implications if their dress has no place in a dress code. That is for discussion in a PSHCE class (or whatever its alphabet soup name is).

alistron1 Thu 05-Sep-13 20:29:30

oh god, don't out the school!! (yet!) I've sent the head and head of 6th form a very calm email.

I started with supporting the school aims, went on to identify the statement, asked for the statement to be removed OR for an additional statement to be included reminding male students to be respectful of the fact that female students/women may dress in such a way as to identify their gender.

I expressed disappointment that a school that strived for the highest of standards had used the statement, and quoted from the school ethos regarding equality and respect.

I shall await a response.

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