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to think that Rachel Manning's mother was poorly advised in her statement to the media?

(154 Posts)
Mintyy Thu 05-Sep-13 13:56:15

It goes without saying that I have the utmost sympathy for her and everything she has been through. I can only think that her grief has affected her judgement, though sad.

Most of her statement is devoted to praising the police (who oversaw two terrible miscarriages of justice) and she seems to be complaining about the re-trials she has had to attend. Then she makes a very dubious comment about her dd's boyfriend, and no acknowledgement at all (as far as I could see) that two men spent a considerable amount of time in prison for a crime they did not commit.

As I said, I feel dreadful for this woman. But was it wrong of her to make that comment about Barri White? and not to acknowledge that they were very wronged too?

Mintyy Thu 05-Sep-13 13:57:37


nethunsreject Thu 05-Sep-13 13:58:42

I agree with you op.

MissStrawberry Thu 05-Sep-13 14:01:48

It is harsh to read that they can't forget that her boyfriend left her to walk home alone but she is only voicing when many people feel and won't say. Many people blame others but just don't say it.

Mintyy Thu 05-Sep-13 14:03:24

I think she should have kept that thought private tbh.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 05-Sep-13 14:04:45

Barri White was interviewed on the news last night. he just wanted to get on with his life he felt no anger

Rachel Manning's mother is still having to live a life without her daughter, pain i can not even begin to imagine and do not want to and that is how she feels. in time she will lay the blame with her daughters murderer for now she is just reliving the past again maybe he was able to understand that as i am sure he many times blamed himself

Sparklysilversequins Thu 05-Sep-13 14:05:40

I think it's probably hard to let go of the hate she has felt towards those two men when believing that he and his friend were involved in her daughters death for so long. It's still her reality iyswim? Hopefully she can find a way to make peace with it.

Of course the boyfriend cannot be held responsible but it must be do very, very hard to know that just one tiny different choice on the night would mean her daughter was still with her.

Terrible terrible tragedy sad.

And a cast iron reason why we could never bring back the death penalty.

DoJo Thu 05-Sep-13 14:06:38

I suppose it must have been hard for her to come to terms with the fact that the person that she had thought had killed her daughter was released five years before the real killer was brought to justice. It must be hard to go from believing him to have been responsible for her death, possibly thinking that he was still after he was released, to knowing that he wasn't guilty, so perhaps those comments demonstrate the remnants of the feelings she had about his involvement. Not saying it's right, but I can kind of understand how she hasn't been able to switch off the feelings she had when he was convicted and I think under the circumstances I would probably have blamed him for leaving her as well, even though I know it's not rational.

quoteunquote Thu 05-Sep-13 14:07:55

She said: "We believe Rachel would still be with us today if she had not been abandoned by her boyfriend the night she was attacked, killed and brutally battered. We cannot forget that."

There is one person responsible for Rachel death that is Shahidul Ahmed.

There are a lot of people who are responsible for the miscarriage of justice that Barri White and Keith Hyatt have suffered,

neither Barri White or Keith Hyatt are responsible for anything that happened to Rachel,

Blaming them in anyway is totally unfair and nasty.

I hope that Barri White and Keith Hyatt get the support they need to restart their lives.

Mintyy Thu 05-Sep-13 14:08:10

I'm not saying that I can't blame her for her thoughts and feelings. I just wonder why on earth she had to say them so publicly? It seems terribly harsh on the boyfriend.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 05-Sep-13 14:08:27

agree this case should be held up as to why the death penalty should never be bought back (or should never have existed in the first place)

Bumpotato Thu 05-Sep-13 14:09:28

The blame should be wholly on the murderer.

We don't know that he didn't offer to walk her home even after the row only to be told to fuck off. He obviously cared enough to check on her when he got back to his friend's place and when they couldn't get her go out looking.

We all have the right to storm off in another direction after a row with OH. No fucker has the right to murder us for kicks.

DreamingofSummer Thu 05-Sep-13 14:10:18

OP I agree with you - almost slanderous

meditrina Thu 05-Sep-13 14:10:52

I feel terribly sorry both for her parents and for the two men wrongly convicted (the second of whom had nothing to do with her being alone).

And yes, if he'd given her a lift it wouldn't have happened, but nor would it if they hadn't gone out that night in the first place, or if she'd had emergency taxi money, or had chosen a different route. The person to blame is the (soundly convicted) murderer, not just one of the circumstances that led to the poor woman crossing his path.

KoalaFace Thu 05-Sep-13 14:11:14

I think OP has it completely right when she said "poorly advised". I can understand her anger that BW left her daughter to walk home alone. But he's been through an awful lot and she should have been advised that putting those feelings into a statement would not be for the best.

But then maybe she was advised and felt strongly she be honest about her feelings.

Beeyump Thu 05-Sep-13 14:11:20

'There is one person responsible for Rachel death that is Shahidul Ahmed.'

I absolutely agree. I think it is unfair of Mrs Manning to suggest otherwise although I would in no way condemn her - she and her family have obviously been through terrible pain and grief.

LadyGoodman Thu 05-Sep-13 14:11:25

After so many years of thinking them guilty and being told they were by our justice system I can understand it being difficult to forget that however to show such lack of compassion for them yesterday was very unnecessary.

Completely understand her and her family's devastation but the lives of these two men have also been destroyed by this and for her to say she had effectively been abandoned to her fate is cruel. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and he went looking for her when she called to say she was lost this was not his fault!!

LeGavrOrf Thu 05-Sep-13 14:12:13

Christ what a bloody terrible thing to happen.

I agree with you mintyy and quote.

picklebumplum Thu 05-Sep-13 14:43:44

It is horrific what happened to that girl it really is, I feel huge sympathy for her parents and I know I could never cope with half of the pain they deal with daily

However, on the other hand..

This man has lost his girlfriend, he was put in prison for 6 years falsely accused of murder he has lost a huge chunk of time and now the public has a perception of him that his girlfriends mother still blames him for her daughter's death I am sure he has wracked it over in his brain time and time again,

We saw the mother give the statement yesterday and when she said if he hadn't of left her then it wouldn't of happened, she cannot say that this person that did murder her daughter could of easily murdered both of them had they been together if he had abandoned a child and the child was murdered I am sure we would all sit and blame him however she wasn't a child, it says they had an argument and she left, she may of told him to leave her alone we all get heated when drunk.

Quaffle Thu 05-Sep-13 14:47:59

Totally agree OP.

Her thinking it - understandable.
Saying it - awful.

TheUglyFuckling Thu 05-Sep-13 14:52:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LazyMonkeyButler Thu 05-Sep-13 14:53:07

I agree OP. I have huge sympathy for Rachel Manning's mother (and family in general) but her boyfriend was NOT responsible for her daughter's death.

How awful for Barri White that, not only was he wrongly imprisoned for the murder of his girlfriend for several years but he now has to hear that her mother does actually still blame him.

I am pretty certain that he blames himself in some way too (not because he should, but because it is human nature to always think "what if.....").

Everyone involved is living with a life sentence really, the hurt will be with them forever.

I am very glad that the correct person has now been convicted.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Thu 05-Sep-13 14:53:30

I don't think too much should be made of it.

She lost her daughter and had to endure ten years, four trials, and massive uncertainty before she found out the truth.

It's clearly not a fair comment to make but I don't see the benefit in attacking her over it. It should just be quietly forgotten.

TheCrackFox Thu 05-Sep-13 14:57:59

I think she should have kept her thoughts to herself.

Presumably Barri loved his girlfriend but to be then found guilty of her murder and sent to prison for 6yrs must be unimaginably painful. He has paid a very high price.

friday16 Thu 05-Sep-13 15:08:24

"I think she should have kept her thoughts to herself."

Particularly as a reasonable corollary of blaming a man for a murder committed by someone else because he (supposedly) left a woman to walk home alone, would be to blame for her own murder a woman who chose to walk home alone. Which would be a disgusting, appalling position. Murders are the fault of the murderer. Rape is the fault of the rapist. She's essentially saying "women should only go out at night if they've got a man with them". Fuck that. Crimes are the fault of the criminal, not the victim.

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