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To think this man was somewhat justified in what he did?

(165 Posts)
Loeri Thu 05-Sep-13 07:02:21

It's 2013. A woman is taking the piss in going out on a date with no money, especially to a swanky place where two rounds of drinks cost £54! I really can't blame the man for being extremely pissed off with her and holding her phone as collateral.

ithaka Thu 05-Sep-13 07:08:14

Absolutely not - he sound a nasty, controlling nut job - poor woman.

Yes, she should have had some money with her, but that in no way justifies his completely OTT reaction.

ClareDeTamble Thu 05-Sep-13 07:08:51

What a pair of complete lunatics...

The ideal response to going dutch is "Oh, I'm sorry! I have no cash on me - I'll put it on my card if you like?" not "screw you for making me pay, I'm never dating you again!" ?!?!

Madness. They bloody well belong together.

AKissIsNotAContract Thu 05-Sep-13 07:09:08

I think it's completely unnecessary to become that angry over 25quid. Yes she should have paid half but to get angry, chase her down the road and take her phone is pretty intimidating.

iloveweetos Thu 05-Sep-13 07:09:21

Depends if he picked the place. I personally would be offended if this happened to me. On the first date I wouldn't expect to pay. But any dates after I would. But then again I would still offer to pay half but be cheesed off if I had to confused

dexter73 Thu 05-Sep-13 07:10:16

I think he sounds like a dick. She should have had some money with her but when he found out she didn't he got angry, followed her pestering her for money and then stole her phone. I don't blame him for being pissed off but he really shouldn't have acted the way he did.

lymiemum Thu 05-Sep-13 07:10:47

Yes she should have taken money, no he shouldn't have mugged her.

TidyDancer Thu 05-Sep-13 07:11:04

God no. That is not justified at all.

They should've and could've talked about it like adults. She should've paid half, but his reaction should never have been to steal her phone and run away.

MrsBertMacklin Thu 05-Sep-13 07:11:06

'...after Mr Nimmala became angry Ms Sultana cut the evening short.
However, he pestered her for money as she walked to Charing Cross Tube station then seized her white Blackberry phone'

No, this is not reasonable behaviour. This is creepy, harassing, self-righteous behaviour.

pinkyredrose Thu 05-Sep-13 07:11:20

He should've made her aware that he expected to go Dutch. She could've then gone to the cashpoint or cut the evening short.

He had no business stealing her phone though and she shouldn't have expected a free evening out especially somewhere so expensive.

HoneyDragon Thu 05-Sep-13 07:15:47

She should not have insisted he pay for a first date.

He should not have mugged her, or followed her, or got angry at her.

If he genuinely felt she was taking advantage he should've informed the dating agency to prevent her fleecing others for a free night out.

Not harassed her and them conveniently stolen her only method of communication and a link to safety. He deserves to be prosecuted.

MimiSunshine Thu 05-Sep-13 07:17:40

No complete over reaction.

I would probably pay half but I have friends that insist its the bloke who pays on a first date especially if he suggested the date and the place.
If he had asked her out and then picked a ridiculously expensive bar I can see why she was thinking there was no way she was paying half. If she picked the bar then she's a cheeky cow.

DumSpiroSpero Thu 05-Sep-13 07:19:37

What a fruitcake!

Am gobsmacked though that any woman in their right mind would go out on basically a blind date with no cash or card on them confused.

Loeri Thu 05-Sep-13 07:20:09

If the bar he chose was too expensive she should have said so before the fact. Then he;d have either have made it clear he would pay for both of them, or they'd have had to have gone somewhere they could both aford.

filee777 Thu 05-Sep-13 07:23:28

Yabu. No matter the back story, chasing someone angrily and mugging them is not on.

Bluegrass Thu 05-Sep-13 07:24:24

Perhaps he should've just paid for his drinks and left her to sort out her half of the bill with the establishment.

gintastic Thu 05-Sep-13 07:24:26

Not justified. Neither is £54 for 2 rounds!

BrokenSunglasses Thu 05-Sep-13 07:24:39

If he asked her out on the date, he should have paid. Either way, he was not in any way justified for taking her phone.


LadyintheRadiator Thu 05-Sep-13 07:25:17

It's 2013. A woman is being harassed by a man she is trying to walk away from. He mugs her.

And you think this is ok because he bought her a drink?

Trapper Thu 05-Sep-13 07:29:56

At least she has a great anecdote to share on her next Internet date grin

flossieraptor Thu 05-Sep-13 07:30:04

He sounds enormously unreasonable. If he paid for both rounds then he should have asked her buy a round. If he put his card behind the bar then it would have looked like he was inviting her. Noone puts their card behind the bar then asks for cash. I'm sure she had a card on her, so could have paid, but objected to being told to cough up. He's probably the sort who wants to pay if it's going well and then asks for money if it isn't.

I had an internet date like this - he invited me to a very expensive bar and bought drinks for us. He was awful and made a very strange remark and I made my excuses and left. He then sent me a rude text saying I was really out of order not offering my half. Very strange man.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 05-Sep-13 07:32:32


RibenaFiend Thu 05-Sep-13 07:33:06

My first question is who suggested the venue?

Then when it was suggested, there's nothing to stop either person from checking it out and sussing the pricing out online. If you can't afford to go then suggest another more affordable venue.

Expecting the man to pay is very old fashioned and from my experience really doesn't apply with online dating. Some people meet up with A LOT of potential partners in RL for a drink or dinner and then decide that's it. I would always expect to go Dutch or to buy a round. It's nothing less than treating your potential partner nicely.

It's expensive business meeting people for drinks.

IMO She was wrong and rude in her assumptions.

He was very wrong, aggressive and attempting to be controlling in his reaction.

All that should have happened is that he should have slunk off home and learnt a valuable lesson about communication and over stretching yourself financially in your choice of venue.

She should have slunk off home and thought long and hard about leaving home with no money to visit somewhere she either can't afford or has no intension of paying for.

Her behaviour disgusts me almost as much as his. It's 2013. Men and Women are equals, if you want to be treated as such then act it.

Grrrr! smile

Bluegrass Thu 05-Sep-13 07:34:38

LadyintheRadiator - I don't suppose that is how he saw it though. To him she had basically stolen nearly £30 by leaving him to pay her half of a bill, and he was obviously never going to get that money back if she got away. If he was feeling like the one who'd been "mugged" by her I can see that he wouldn't think what he was doing was any worse.

He probably saw it as equivalent to chasing and grabbing a pickpocket.

pigletmania Thu 05-Sep-13 07:35:05

This woman is a grown adult with a voice, she should have taken responsibility and carried cash or card with her and not assumed anything! If it was too expensive she could have suggested a much cheaper venue. No it's not acceptable, but let that be a lesson to her in the future

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