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to stop myself from offering a potentially tiny helpful suggestion to harrassed-looking mum on the bus today?

(77 Posts)
Mintyy Wed 04-Sep-13 21:39:59

because you lot have forever put me off that kind of thing for fear of being told I am an interfering old bat?

Seriously, a few years ago I would have spoken up. Today (because of Mumsnet and the outrage I have seen towards strangers saying anything whatsoever about your baby) I kept quiet.

Feel a bit shock at self, tbh.

MichaelBubleBath Sat 07-Sep-13 01:52:14

Maybe something like "the sun's so bright on this bus. <roll eyes> you'd think they'd invent sun shades or something to stop us going blind <roll eyes some more>"

Now this I like. flowers for Peppermint it blames the game not the player. Alerts the mum to the problem without judging her whilst criticising the bus company not her/offering solidarity with use of the word 'us'. Very subtle.

Soditall Wish I met people like you when at the end of my rope.

I live in Germany. Maybe other German mumsnetters can confirm this but the bottom line is that the majority of people here particularly Omas are very direct. and hate air conditioning or barenaked babies but love staring

It is not always refreshing. When you have the 99th person saying Aren't her feet cold? you sometimes want to snap and say IT'S 29 DEGREES FFS ARE YOU ON GLUE?!!! angry grin hi tidy D

As with all things it is usually down to timing and approach.

If you are genuinely trying to be kind and helpful usually this will show so the response usually will be mellow/gentle/amiable even if you 'agree to disagree' or pathetically grateful in my case if you are spot on with your observations and I need help. I will thank you 100x over

If you however are judgy and have a go at me when you know neither me nor my circumstances you may well unwittingly unleash hell.

Sometimes I fuck up. Screaming at me that I have fucked up and won't someone think of the poor baby is not going to end well. I may well tell you that the sun has surprised me and I left my parasol at home by mistake. That I have been in the sun vit D for approximately ten seconds and am heading to the shade as we speak scream.
That I am off to the U-Bahn and I have raised two other children already thank you.

You may well reply Warum ficken Sie soviel? (why do you fuck so much?) at which point I will dismiss you as a loon, tell you to mind your own fecking business and to lick mine*. (My DD would have replied to the hag Warum ficken Sie so wenig? but as I am less quick on my sleep-deprived feet Sie können mich mal* was all I could manage).

Yes, this happened to me yesterday. It was sunny, not 29 degrees yet! that came later but sunny. Having been taught to respect my elders and heard the abyss to music that was 'everyone wears sunscreen'...pointing out children + sunshine = bad combo would not usually end with anything other than

Yes, i am dealing with it, My Bad... blush as a response.

Screeching at me on the other hand at defcon 1 will bring out the reptilian receptors in my brain and I will count 2,3,4 before a measured response - but if you keep going I will bite your head off.

Sorry OP needed to vent. YANBU by the way wink but also you sound nice in rl cake and not a Hexe who screams at random strangers.

fifi669 Sun 08-Sep-13 00:12:42

I think I would of gone down the strike up a conversation route. She's got a good set of lungs on her! Is she teething? You must be worn out etc.

A bit of getting the mother onside with flattery and how well she's coping followed by mentioning the sun and asking if she wanted her turned round.

Some people crush you when your child is misbehaving. We tried introducing DS to church. He wasn't impressed. The women sat a few rows in front turned, tutted and moved away. I felt like crap. However a lady afterwards said these things happen, it'll get easier and sod them. Lifted me a little. Never been back though.

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