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AIBU?

To be panicking about new job and taking time off if children are unwell?

64 replies

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 18:29

I went for a job interview a few weeks ago, I had been looking for a job for months and was pretty desperate. Anyway the interview was fine but the manager questioned me about what I would do if my children were ill. On the spot due to desperation I said it would be fine as I had family I could call on. I was offered the job straight away.

Now, I have no family close by and I'm panicking about the kids being unwell now. I have no one to call on. Shit! She kept stressing at the interview that the children were a worry and she can't have me being off all the time with sick children ( I have 3 dc btw). I just needed the job so badly and reading this back I can see I probably was Unreasonable to say I had it covered. I guess what I'm asking is is it unreasonable to employ someone then with children under the basis they are never off due to their child being ill.

Also my youngest came home from school today with a sore throat and runny nose so this is what prompted my post. Crap!

OP posts:

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NatashaBee · 02/09/2013 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiredFeet · 02/09/2013 18:36

They shouldn't have asked you. Have you got a partner who can cover when they are ill?

LIZS · 02/09/2013 18:37

It shouldn't make any difference . Is there a policy for such occasions ie Personal Responsibilities ?

Onesleeptillwembley · 02/09/2013 18:37

Could your DH dp not take time off?

GwenCooper81 · 02/09/2013 18:38

Yanbu! you shouldn't have been asked in the first place about childcare it's discriminatory I'm sure!.
No practical advice I'm afraid, but I've heard good things of acas.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 02/09/2013 18:39

Why can't your DH/DP share this burden witih you.

Would the interviewer have asked him the question...... I fee sure you are not allowed to ask such questions in interviews.

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 18:39

No partner to help TiredFeet I do work some weekends and my exp can help then but it's Monday-Friday that's the problem.

The discrimination thing didn't even cross my mind.

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SilverApples · 02/09/2013 18:41

They are not allowed to discriminate because you have children, the way they would get around that is if they would have asked a man the same question.
But they can sack you for unauthorised absence, so once you have used up your holiday allocations and anything else you are entitled to, what will you do?
It was easier for my OH to take days off and work from home than me.

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 18:41

X Posted there. Exp works away during the week so can't rely on him to help then unfortunately.

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meisiemee · 02/09/2013 18:42

That's not allowed to start with! Save a bit of annual leave for those emergencies and if new employers give you grief if it happens keep a log. Good luck with the new job!

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 18:43

I don't know what I'll do SilverApples :(

I love the job, I get on well with the manager and colleagues but this is worrying.

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SilverApples · 02/09/2013 18:44

Cross your fingers and hope then.

ProudAS · 02/09/2013 18:48

You are entitled to time off in an emergency but this would be unpaid and only as long as is reasonable to make other arrangements.

forevergreek · 02/09/2013 18:49

Also can you get some friends for help. Ie if their child is sick and you are home you offer to look after and same for yours?
Obviously that doesn't really irk if really sick, but if they have say tonsillitis and antibiotics already and just need resting then it may do
You should also register with emergency nanny agencies for the times where it's a really important day and children are sick but not majorly

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 18:49

So if I have AL I can use this in an emergency ie if dc are unwell?

I have everything crossed, i've even stocked up on vitamins for the dc. I just dread the day I have to call manager due to one of them being ill. On the plus side they don't really get sick often They are going to have back to back sickness bugs now aren't they?!

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SilverApples · 02/09/2013 18:55

They might, they might not. Emergency leave is usually only a couple of days, I think, and with three children it's very thin ice.
Do you have friends you could do deals with, as Greek said?

Spongingbobsunderpants · 02/09/2013 18:59

A friend of mine was in this predicament and someone suggested she post on childcare.co.uk asking for ad hoc/emergency contacts should she need them.

She had a whole load of people contact her saying they would be one of her emergency contacts, and she got some lovely cheap baby sitters on the list too.

It might be worth a shot.

Onesleeptillwembley · 02/09/2013 19:00

I was in your position when mine were young. My now ex was away a lot. I made sure I always put in my best at work, worked over, did what I could. Then if something did happen it would be looked favourably on. It's just not easy.

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 19:00

I have 1 friend I could possibly ask but I'm fairly new to the area and wouldn't class her as a close friend. It's worth a try though and she does work from home. What a headache. I wish I had just been honest at the interview but then I probably wouldn't have been offered the job.

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WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 19:04

onesleep I did overhear my manager telling her boss I was doing great and I've covered some extra shifts due to them being short staffed so it is going well.

Thanks sponging I will have a look into that.

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Onesleeptillwembley · 02/09/2013 19:07

Try and get out at weekends and make some friends. I'd also just moved here, you have to really motivate yourself. Good luck!

LiegeAndLief · 02/09/2013 19:07

Erm... I'd be a bit wary about asking a friend who works from home. Would you be asking her to look after your dc when she was meant t be working? It's usually a massive bugbear of people who work from home to be asked to do things you would never expect someone in an office to do during their working day.

I can understand your worry though, we have similar problems although thankfully I have a dh to help and robustly healthy dc!

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SilverApples · 02/09/2013 19:09

I agree with the 'she does work from home' OH was a SAHH for 6 years and worked from home around the children. Every hour of work was a straight £22.50 and that was over 20 years ago. We needed that money.
I'd keep that for real emergencies when you've tried everything else.

WreckTangle · 02/09/2013 19:10

Good point Liege Not a good way to make friends then, i wouldn't want to piss anyone off. I'm just going to have to hope for the best really. I'll check the child care site now.

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missmapp · 02/09/2013 19:13

Apart from s and d, we often dose up with calpol and then try to leave early to pick up early! Do you have childcare, my cm will look after ill children if it is a cold/virus.

I understand , we have no family near and dh works away a lot- there is nothing worse than having a phonecall to say your child is ill and your first thought isnt' I hope they are ok' it is ' Bugger, what will I tell my boss'

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