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WIBU here?

(65 Posts)
IfYouLoveSomebodyLetThemSleep Mon 02-Sep-13 17:59:12

Our drive has lots of blackberries growing on it, the children that live on the street were taking a big interest in me giving some to DS so I invited them to pick some theirselves (after checking for allergies and the usual speech about always checking with an adult before you eat wild berries). I gave them a bowl and told them to get picking.

Next thing I know one of their Dads is storming across the street shouting about them being poisonous, the kids were all crying by that point, thinking that I'd poisoned them.
I calmly pointed out that they are obviously not poisonous as they are blackberries, can be bought at most shops etc. He carried on shouting about not being so reckless in future, how I could have poisoned all the kids.

I apologised for upsetting him but really, there was nothing to be upset about. I still don't think I was being unreasonable for letting the children do something as normal as picking blackberries, or was I?

saintlyjimjams Tue 03-Sep-13 08:18:52

What an idiot. He would have passed out at the wild food walk ds2 & ds3 did age 5 & 8. They were shown how to eat (raw) nettles & gorse bush flowers amongst other things. My mother claims to have lived on nettle soup post war.

paperclipsarebetterthanstaples Tue 03-Sep-13 08:12:39

They were old enough to be playing out unsupervised - they're old enough to pick blackberries. I think its sad that these lovely traditions are dying out because lots of parents don't bother doing this kind of stuff anymore.

None of the kids i teach (14+) in one class knew what paddling was, had never been sledging or picked blackberries / winkles

Op i wish you lived in my street - we could draw hopscotch on the ground and teach the kids skipping games too :-)

daisychain01 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:06:18

The father should have been grateful those children were getting an education in how blackberries grow on brambles. Probably before you came along, they thought they were cultivated in little black plastic trays in Tesco.

cherrytomato40 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:02:51

I meant to add, it's very sad that we bring our kids up on unseasonal pre-packaged fruit with a gazillion airmiles such as blueberries etc but we are too scared to let them eat the free seasonal and tasty produce on our doorstep.

Reminds me of my friend who was disgusted that we ate eggs from our neighbour's chickens!

cherrytomato40 Tue 03-Sep-13 07:56:06

YANBU it's not like it was a random bush in the street it was your own blackberry bush in your own garden! Our elderly neighbour has loads of blackberries overhanging her garden wall into the street she always tells us to help ourselves.

My next door neighbour gave my kids a kinder egg each yesterday without telling me- now I don't mind at all, but I think I'd have more grounds to complain at them being given saturated fat than he does at his kids being given frigging blackberries!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 03-Sep-13 07:41:14

Sirzy Oh yes...because kids need an adult with them ALL the time....even when the neighbouring kid's mum wants to let them pick a frigging blackberry!

livinginwonderland Tue 03-Sep-13 07:00:03

YANBU. My dad used to take my friends and I blackberry picking all the time and I loved it. How do people get to become parents without knowing what a blackberry looks like?!

longingforsomesleep Tue 03-Sep-13 06:19:01

I regularly went blackberry picking with my dad when I was little in local woods and in my grandparents' garden. We thought nothing of eating them straight from the hedge unwashed.

I must admit though, I am slightly nervous about picking them now, in an urban area where they are exposed to lots of traffic fumes, but I presume if they're thoroughly washed then it's OK?

But I do think his behaviour was totally unreasonable - especially in front of the kids.

jessieagain Tue 03-Sep-13 01:57:47


He should have been out supervising them. I would ignore him an next time the children talk to you tell them that they had better go home to their dad because he was upset last time.

EATmum Mon 02-Sep-13 23:41:11

I was the kid aged 3 who ate deadly nightshade rather than blackberries - so I figure knowing about them, what's safe to eat and what isn't, is rather important. Otherwise they'll just do it their own way - and end up yakking in hospital! YANBU

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 02-Sep-13 23:34:08

But everybody knows what a blackberry looks like surely confused.
People and kids have been eating them forever.

Pozzled Mon 02-Sep-13 23:33:33

Yanbu. I'm shocked that people think blackberries are such a big deal. Any child old enough to be playing out is old enough to declare allergies and listen to/understand a talk about not eating other berries without checking.

SomethingOnce Mon 02-Sep-13 23:22:28

How was he to know you know your berries? For all he knew, you could be completely ignorant and filling his children with deadly nightshade berries.

I'm not a cotton wool enthusiast but I think I'd be cross.

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Mon 02-Sep-13 22:52:31

You have no idea if they have allergies or not though, and berries are quite common allergens. Better to ask than not.

pootlebug Mon 02-Sep-13 22:42:43

I'm with RevoltingPeasants - I really really don't get people who suggested that you should have sent the kids home to ask whether they were allowed to eat a blackberry? wtf?

If the OP's DS had asked her for an apple from Tescos (i.e not the tree) for each of them should they ask too?

But I really wonder if a lot of people don't know what blackberries are / don't 'trust' picking themselves. I can't believe how many there are, with no-one picking them. sad

Yamyoid Mon 02-Sep-13 22:40:25

shock yanbu

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Mon 02-Sep-13 22:37:13

YANBU. In what world should a child not be taught that they can eat blackberries?

But only the one's higher up than a dog can cock his leg. wink

anonnymousey Mon 02-Sep-13 22:34:44

chump dad, cool neebs op

RevoltingPeasant Mon 02-Sep-13 22:33:56

Sweet Jesus. You mean some of you would expect a NT child with no allergies to go home and ask a parent before eating a blackberry?!

This is why we have late teens unable to function on their own....

I mean, the only possible excuse is if the children were like 3-4, but if they are playing out alone I'm guessing 8+, in which case...

OP YANBU, at all. Tell him to keep his precious darlings inside and off your property if he feels like that, and never to come onto your drive and speak to you like that again. What a control freak.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 02-Sep-13 22:31:42

Ridiculous stupid man.
Who doesn't know what blackberries are (or as primalass correctly said brambles)
Ive picked them since I was a child, and will be picking more when they come to fruit in a month or so. we have millions round here.

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Mon 02-Sep-13 22:26:17

I would let children pick them if we had them growing near us but I'd only agree after they had gone home and asked. It'd only be with children where I know the parents though.

Backtobedlam Mon 02-Sep-13 22:22:10

YANBU-if the children are old enough to be playing out without an adult then the parents can hardly complain to you about 'allowing' them to do something. He sounds crazy! Would he have preferred you and DS gleefully picked and ate them all whilst the others sat and watched? I can't believe some posters think you shouldn't have let them join in, threads like this make me think twice about helping anyone else a friend once told me 'never does a good deed go unpunished'.

primallass Mon 02-Sep-13 22:21:22


They are called BRAMBLES grin

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 02-Sep-13 22:19:33

Yanbu I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

superram Mon 02-Sep-13 22:17:44


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