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To call the police about my own family?

(87 Posts)
Famzilla Mon 02-Sep-13 13:33:05

I have posted some threads here about my incredibly toxic and abusive mother and how I am trying to go NC after a blowout Infront of my DD. It's a long long story but basically the whole time I'm NC with her my entire family won't talk to me either. It is something I have come to accept.

She hasn't gone quietly and keeps messaging me like nothing has happened.

When my nan died (from my biological fathers side, so nothing to do with our current family set up) she left me a lot of expensive jewellery. DM has always kept this in a safe as I couldn't be trusted not to sell it. Ridiculous as I'm in a professional job and get by just fine. This isn't a stealth boast or anything but I have quite a lot in savings so really don't need to sell it!

Anyways I asked for it back the other day. She has lost the key and has better things to do than find it apparently. Fine. She then messages me a few days later asking if I want some stuff she has bought for DD ( she always does this, she is incredibly generous as a way of getting you back 'on side' so to speak)

I say that the jewellery is more important and that we need to figure out how to open the safe. You see, DP and I are getting married in 6 weeks and I really wanted to wear my nans wedding ring. DM doesn't know we're getting married as she shit all over our original wedding plans so we're just doing it our way. 2 witnesses, nice lunch afterwards etc.

Anyways, she has unleashed a torrent of abuse. Saying that if I'm going to be petty she wants everything she has ever given us back. Including Christmas presents, DD's pram, cot, everything. And the dog. (we took the dog from her because she was breeding it to death and admitted she couldn't take care of her properly as her other dogs were attacking her. We adore our dog but she cost us £1000's in vet bills & getting her spayed etc so I really wouldn't view her as a gift)

She is saying that my dad will drive round and take everything. I have no doubt that he will, my family have form for doing stuff like this. I am terrified.

I know this is all very Jeremy Kyle.

My SF and DB have been texting me the most horrendous abuse all morning. Both outlining how much they've always hated me and how DM was the only one that made them be civil to me. I havent replied but it just keeps coming. I'm just sat here in tears.

Now, my point is.. Can they come and take all my things? It was all a gift. I'm so terrified they will come down here and smash doors to get to things. I'm scared they'll hurt me Infront of DD.

Can I call the police? Will they let them take things because they bought it? They won't come right now, they'll just turn up at a random time soon.

Sorry this is all so jumbled.

Revengeofkarma Mon 02-Sep-13 22:51:02

Oh, and for the four other dogs staying with her? RSPCA.

Cravey Mon 02-Sep-13 23:19:34

You need to find out if there was a will re the jewellery. Of not then I'm afraid you will have to let it go. You dd tHe right thing with 101 as I said before its logged now and the response on 999 should be quicker. I really would seek legal advice and pay out for a cease and desist letter as that's the first step towards an injunction taken care of if needed. I would most certainly be keeping the dog in the house just in case. Slightest thing or feeling of unease then call 999 the police will be happy to help.

Revengeofkarma Mon 02-Sep-13 23:32:37

Oh and the timing of this has a lot to do with you cancelling the (horrific) control she tried to exert over your wedding. So if you do manage to shut this episode down with the help of the police, things will start to calm down. But no texting her offering to let go of the jewellery for a quiet life, etc. that's how things were.

How things are from now on is quite different, and much better for you. Actually better for anyone who comes into contact with them as well, but mostly we are concerned with you here.

nocarsgo Mon 02-Sep-13 23:44:58

I read your wedding thread. WOW, I can't believe it's descended to this.

Don't be scared, the law is on your side here. Maybe one day you can move house and never tell them.

Re. FB, have you considered deleting your account and rejoining under a pseudonym? At least then you can keep in touch with the people you WANT to keep in touch with.

halestone Mon 02-Sep-13 23:57:11

Famzilla i hope your ok and that things resolve themselves quickly.

Ring your mobile operator and ask them to ban your mothers number.

Block them all on facebook and also set up your email account so that any messages from them go straight to your Junk mail.

musicismylife Tue 03-Sep-13 01:53:17

Op, I called the police on a family member who was threatening me and my children. The best thing I ever did. Not sure who these peeps think they are angry

musicismylife Tue 03-Sep-13 01:56:14

Well said, revengeofkarma.

QueenStromba Tue 03-Sep-13 15:14:07

If you have a smart phone there are loads of apps that let you block phonecalls and texts from particular numbers. I have Mr Number on my android phone for blocking spammers, I'm sure there's similar for iphones.

Did you mention the jewellery to the police?

eatriskier Tue 03-Sep-13 18:51:46

Famzilla Are you ok? Hope you have had an uneventful night and day.

Famzilla Tue 03-Sep-13 22:08:59


Yeah I'm ok, luckily they didn't come round last night. I went out all day today and told my very lovely neighbours to call the police if my dads van turned up at any point. They haven't said anything to me so am assuming they haven't! Seen a lot of friends today and showed them the messages, have a feeling I'm going to be relying on them a lot over the coming months. (and MN as always!)

Really want to go to a solicitor about the jewellery, it means a lot to me. I think I may wait until the storm has settled, so to speak. Still feeling pretty fragile.

LemonBreeland Wed 04-Sep-13 14:39:25

What a horrible situation. I think the advice upthread to get a restraining order seems sensible. It is worth going to see a solicitor for some advice I think.

Revengeofkarma Wed 04-Sep-13 19:46:00

See the solicitor now. First, you'll feel better for doing something. Second, it'll take a little time to write and send a letter about the jewellery, much less get a response in time for your upcoming wedding, which is going to be just as you want it if you get it in gear in time.

And finally, waiting for it to calm down is about them, not you. And this (as previously stated) is about what you want (the jewellery) and not what they want (control and you on a string). So go get what YOU want.

(And that's a cheeky order!)

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