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To be angry at SIL for dangling DD?

(71 Posts)
LittleRedDinosaur Mon 02-Sep-13 03:41:07

We met up with SIL and family today at an attraction with a viewing platform which was probably the equivalent of 1 storey high. SIL carried 10 month old DD up and lifted her so her legs were dangling over the side. She had her arm around her waist and then said something like "your mummy and daddy think I'm going to drop you!". Her husband made a jokey comment about the Michael Jackson baby dangling thing.

IABU to have internally freaked out about that? DH immediately went to get her back as he could see I wasn't happy. I didn't say anything as I think they already think I'm massively PFB with DD because I don't leave her to cry it out ever.

Was I being too protective?!?

BeckAndCall Mon 02-Sep-13 07:57:26

toizzy-PFB =precious first born

Toizzy Mon 02-Sep-13 07:59:24

oki thanks Beck, so many abbreviations on MN, haven't worked them all out yet!

Bumply Mon 02-Sep-13 08:00:13

I would have freaked as i once read a story (fictional) where the main character was disabled from a childhood incident related to this scenario.

saintlyjimjams Mon 02-Sep-13 08:03:14

Well I have 3 kids & subscribe to the leave then to it school of parenting but I would NOT have liked that. It makes me feel sick reading it. Your SIL was being an idiot - does she have children herself?

lljkk Mon 02-Sep-13 08:04:18

yanbu, It would upset me, too. :-(

BoffinMum Mon 02-Sep-13 08:05:36

Ooh, seriously creepy goings on there. I would have had a fit.

Lampshadeofdoom Mon 02-Sep-13 08:07:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lampshadeofdoom Mon 02-Sep-13 08:08:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneUulmelmahay Mon 02-Sep-13 08:13:14

Horrible woman. Great that your dh responded quickly

Not easy but can you reduce the times you meet to say birthdays and christmas? One of my siblings is like this and its fkin 'orrible, we can never leave the children alone with the person - a toy or gadget gets broken, a foot gets stamped on or the child gets shoved over. All accidents you understand, from a middleaged person. Nearly 50.

BigW Mon 02-Sep-13 08:14:10

Toizzy Perfect First Born I think.

Two things - firstly, previous posters are right. She was trying to wind you up.

Secondly, slightly off topic, I bloody HATE it when people 'talk' to me through my DS. 'Mummy's scared I'm going to drop you' and the absolute worst is when people put on a squeaky voice and prentend to be the actual baby. 'Oh mummy, I'm scared auntie X is going to drop me over the side'.

angry usually it's because they are doing/saying something tgey don't feel 100% comfortable addressingto your face.

Rant over. Sorry. blush

MoominsYonisAreScary Mon 02-Sep-13 08:34:07

I think that would have made me a bit crazy, well done for not reacting.

Dp lays on the sofa and holds ds3 2.5 up in the air over his head like superman, I don't know how many times id told him to stop doing it before he finally listened.

The other day he did it while laying on the floor and ds twisted and dp dropped him, ds wasn't hurt from that hight but dp had a headache all day from being kicked in the head grin

SubliminalMassaging Mon 02-Sep-13 08:37:31

This kind of thing freaks me out even when I don't know the child involved and I see someone do it.

If someone did that to my child I would probably had a panic attack. Or a very loud, very public row. Or both.

plantsitter Mon 02-Sep-13 08:44:08

Listen, you should ignore people talking about 'PFB' when you have your first small baby. If you have an instinctive response to a situation with your baby, you should act on it.

In this case, even if what your SIL was doing wasn't breathtakingly stupid, you could have been forgiven for grabbing Dd and having a right go at SIL because she was trying to wind you up.

I will admit that as a mother of 2 sometimes it is fun to talk about pfb behaviour as it can be funny - I even do this about things I did when my first was a baby. But it can be very damaging to your confidence to worry about it when you're in the middle of it. Nobody knows what they're doing with their first. No harm in being a bit pfb. Revisit it when she's walking or whatever so you don't over protect when she needs some freedom but really at 10 months you react to your own worries as you need to.

And, additionally, your SIL is a silly cow.

Scrounger Mon 02-Sep-13 08:46:39

My FIL did this with my DS1 when he was about 9 months old, held him sitting on a balcony on the first floor. He had his arm round his waist and I asked him to not do it and bring him back. He looked at me a bit strangely and said that I had a good hold on him. I cannot remember what I said but I politely asked him still to not do it. I couldn't let it continue and he wasn't baiting me, just didn't see that it was dangerous. (BTW he is a great GP, plays with all the GC and is a fun GP, just had a different view on risks.)

BTW OP, if you think that there is a risk to your DS's health or safety, speak up and don't let anyone make you feel as though you are overreacting. He is your child, not theirs so their opinion doesn't matter. As they get older, you let them do more to explore etc but right now, sod anyone who makes you feel awkward about it.

fluffyraggies Mon 02-Sep-13 08:46:41

That's horrible. Horrible undertones.

We've all seen the awful footage recently about the child that got accidentally dropped into that wild dog pen at a zoo in Pittsburgh. I'm sure the person holding the child on the barrier thought it was just a laugh and no cause for concern either.

God - just why risk it!?

I'd be seething OP. It can be hard to stand up for yourself and your child sometimes when it's your first baby. But I'm gald your DH seems on side. Put it behind you now and just keep your SIL at arms length from now on. Your baby - you decide whats on and what's not.

SubliminalMassaging Mon 02-Sep-13 08:53:19

I haven't seen that footage fluffy or heard about it, but I don't think I want to by the sounds of things. sad Please tell me you don't actually see a baby being killed by dogs?

Booboostoo Mon 02-Sep-13 09:18:56

That is a dangerous thing to do to your baby and an awful thing to do to you. If it was my SIL doing this I would tell her that any repeat crap of the kind would mean she would never see my DC again.

fluffyraggies Mon 02-Sep-13 09:25:28

sublininal - it was on the bbc. The footage i refer to was the American news report, included in the bbc report, in which we see an aerial fly by of the zoo, and a few pics of the African Dogs.

I wouldn't want posters to link to anything graffic.

There's no footage of the actual horrific event. It's a sobering report though. And if it makes anyone think twice about dangling their kids over the edge of railings etc. then it's worth it.

Misspixietrix Mon 02-Sep-13 09:32:48

YNBU. SIL is an Idiot and sounds rather patronising tbh. Agree with others about the Baiting. Keep meet ups to a minimum if I were you ~

RedHelenB Mon 02-Sep-13 09:34:17

Moomin - kids love that, you can't wrap in cotton wool. A different scenario to the OP.

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 02-Sep-13 09:35:55

Your sil is a nasty bitch. As others have said she did it purely to bait you and prove a point she used your little baby to do so- awful.
Hope you are ok OP I would have been freaking out and replaying it over in my mind

pianodoodle Mon 02-Sep-13 09:43:16

Listen, you should ignore people talking about 'PFB' when you have your first small baby. If you have an instinctive response to a situation with your baby, you should act on it.

This! PFB is a load of old bollocks it's a baby ffs you're supposed to want to keep them safe!

fluffyraggies Mon 02-Sep-13 09:50:17

piano you're right. It's sad when people titter about women and their 'PFB'.

The first time any of us do anything we have to take it carefully and do it by the book. Worrying about how we appear to others on top of that is only going to cause upset.

I always remember sitting trying not to cry when my newborn DD1 was being passed round a ring of relatives whilst screaming for me. I feel awful about it to this day (she's 20!) but i can forgive myself as a very young first time mum without the courage to go with my instincts and get her back sad Would never in a million years have put DDC 2 and 3 through that. The Tiger Mother had been revealed in me by then grin

Ezio Mon 02-Sep-13 09:50:44

Agreed PFB is a load of shit, when dealing with the situation that could have the worst result possible.

Steer well clear of SIL, what a bitch to do such a thing.

I know full well that young babies can be quite strong, when holding my 4 month old niece at the dinner table, she suddenly turned and nearly out of my arms.

bigTillyMint Mon 02-Sep-13 09:53:03

I agree, she is baiting you. What a totally stupid thing to do. Accidents happen, and even with no accident, anyone with half an ounce of empathy would know that would be torturous for a parent to watch. YADNBU

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